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melissartodd.bsky.social
Writer, performer, elderly model. Enjoys late Victorian fiction and breath play. Melissatodd.co.uk
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Two hours birching with a man who'll definitely regret his recklessness in under 4 minutes.

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

The butler is coming back. This time next week I'll be starting a 4 day LARP cos-playing as a posh bird. We are seeing Unicorn. And Hamilton. And going to an absinthe parlour.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

A man has drawn me. What a pointy chin I possess.

submitted 2 days ago • 2 comments

Just put my creative writing submission into chat GPT and am reassured to see AI has made it much much worse. Says it's tightened the structure, my arse. My structure was intentionally baggy.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

For @kentonline.co.uk www.kentonline.co.uk/thanet/news/...

submitted 4 days ago • 1 comment

news.sky.com/story/egghea... I did a strippergram for him. He told me to bugger off.

submitted 4 days ago • 2 comments

Listening to Jeremy Vine on ring doorbells reminded me that several people in Ramsgate will have captured this.

submitted 4 days ago • 3 comments

The nice south African nurse said it was astonishing I didn't get terrible backache from the state of my innards. I'm feeling unreasonably smug about this.

submitted 5 days ago • 1 comment

Pity the poor chap on Onlyfans who's being forced to discuss my DH Lawrence fixation. Probably not the torture he had in mind.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

MRI day! Trying to get the glitter off my toes in case the machine sends them spinning into my chest.

submitted 5 days ago • 4 comments

I've no interest in queen Camilla but Aphra Behn was a right dirty cow and it's great she's being celebrated.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

Another theatre maker has asked to interview me. I'm thrilled of course. But it is weird the way the middle classes are allowed to objectify us for art.

submitted 5 days ago • 2 comments

On the plus side I am still a long way from being bored by that Trump gaza video.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

Ooh more books from my reading list have arrived!

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

I have a new website! MelissaTodd.co.uk Still a work in progress, so comments welcome. Will it get me more speaking engagements? Will it make people publish me??

submitted 11 days ago • 10 comments

Checked in to twitter, where today people seem to be claiming the third covid vaccine causes HIV. Ran away fast. Stupidity is catching.

submitted 11 days ago • 4 comments

Man just told me how a rooster pecked him on the tiny bit of scrotum that pokes out from under his chastity belt. He suggests I add rooster play to my repertoire.

submitted 11 days ago • 7 comments

Metro asking me why humiliation is sexual "in about 100 words, please". Sigh.

submitted 12 days ago • 3 comments

Having an MRI next week. Will I feel fine after? Able to drive to Chelmsford, for instance? It's my first! Thank you.

submitted 12 days ago • 5 comments

Theatre gossip: I'm told the UK is definitely in recession because theatre takings are going up, but people are buying tickets with cash. I don't know if this is true but the idea felt interesting enough to share.

submitted 15 days ago • 2 comments