Profile avatar
melpollen.bsky.social
Irrepressible Thoughts of Death Barbie. Blonde who has been outdoors once. Top 0.01% of bad at math. IG:@enamelnailstudio
92 posts 156 followers 86 following
Prolific Poster
Active Commenter
Posts 30 Comments 20

One of the most traumatic moments in my childhood was learning that piñatas don't come already stuffed with candy

submitted 62 days ago • 2 comments

Buying these sheets so I can say I Excel in bed

submitted 64 days ago • 4 comments

Telling girl friends you're losing weight: that's awesome, you'll feel so much healthier and more confident, etc etc Telling guy friends you're losing weight: don't lose weight in your tits

submitted 67 days ago • 0 comments

Apparently today is Blue Monday, the most depressing day of the year. Pretty fitting that today is also inauguration day, the most depressing day of the next 4 years.

submitted 69 days ago • 1 comment

Sorry I yelled 'go go gadget boner' at your dick during sexytime but you said you were into foreplay

submitted 74 days ago • 0 comments

Work: work from the office, it'll be fun Also work: here's your new desk, you're missing a chair, a monitor, and your phone doesn't work, good luck!

submitted 74 days ago • 0 comments

I've been keto for 24 hours why have I not dropped 60lbs yet this is bullshit 😂

submitted 76 days ago • 0 comments

Me: Why am I single? Also me:

submitted 82 days ago • 0 comments

My grief counsellor was so good at her job that she got hit by a bus today and I don’t give a shit.

submitted 83 days ago • 3 comments

And here I am, once again, back on the overthinking express. Choo choo!

submitted 88 days ago • 1 comment

Christmas trees

submitted 91 days ago • 1 comment

In the week between Christmas and New Year, pie absolutely counts as adequate breakfast food. Follow me for more nutrition advice 😂

submitted 92 days ago • 2 comments

Sex on a train, call it getting Via Railed

submitted 93 days ago • 1 comment

Merry Christmas, friends 🎄🎁🎉🎅

submitted 95 days ago • 0 comments

Might just jingle some of the way idk

submitted 96 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 96 days ago • 0 comments

My 69 year old father just learned that narwhals are real animals, not just something made up for Elf and it's the funniest thing I've ever heard

submitted 98 days ago • 1 comment

I keep forgetting this place exists

submitted 100 days ago • 0 comments

Getting sick after the Eras tour, call it Swiftdrawals

submitted 111 days ago • 0 comments

Me: *projectile vomits water all over the driveway* and thus concludes my impression of a Nerf Supersoaker

submitted 111 days ago • 0 comments

Adventures in Swiftieland pt 1

submitted 114 days ago • 1 comment

About to travel 16+ hours and 9600km within 72 hours for a concert I've been waiting 17 years to see. Vancouver here I come! #TSTheErasTour

submitted 115 days ago • 0 comments

Song checkpoint. Quote this with the song you last listened to!

submitted 116 days ago • 0 comments

I like my men like I like my candles... Pretty, nicely scented and lit on fire

submitted 118 days ago • 0 comments

There's safety in numbers. But letters? Letters will fuck you up.

submitted 121 days ago • 15 comments

Call me crazy but I’d rather have a Prime Minister who attends a Taylor Swift concert than one who attends the Freedom Convoy

submitted 127 days ago • 145 comments

Lord, grant me the strength to dig through the ditches, the courage to burn through the witches, and the wisdom to slam in the back of my Dragula.

submitted 126 days ago • 1 comment

This platform confused me lol am I supposed to crosspost between the 2 apps or just bf a whole separate weirdo here

submitted 128 days ago • 0 comments

Oh don't mind me, just over here playing with fire cuz I'm an idiot who never learns 😅😩🤦🏼‍♀️

submitted 129 days ago • 1 comment

I've gone from having dreams about being murdered to having dreams about dating and tbh I prefer the former

submitted 129 days ago • 0 comments