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melty-choco-mint.bsky.social
| cw: 100lbs • ugw: 93lbs • 4' 11 • bmi 20 | Delusional and Mentally ill. I'm trying to get my life together. Rambles a lot !
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shout out to puppygirls y'all are stronger than me because if someone talked to me like a dog i'd js kill them

submitted 30 days ago • 3 comments

Okay, so I want to be thinner... Falls to my knees, head in my hands.

submitted 41 days ago • 0 comments

My intuition has been wonky, and communication has been wonky as well. I can't tell if I'm delusional or not when things come to me besides asking THEM for confirmation. It's been nighty and things that I'm not used to.

submitted 41 days ago • 1 comment

Oh god, Aphrodite, I am scared, but good, yes, I know. I have aches, but I feel a bit hopeful.

submitted 41 days ago • 0 comments

I think I have a crush. Today, we spoke. I feel like I have conquered a mountain, but like... not fully. I was not rejected. He said he liked how I worded it. Worry less, I will worry less and be a bit more ? Oh, fate is...

submitted 41 days ago • 1 comment

Okay, so. I overdosed, but I'm trying to get better. There are a lot of things I can not understand, but I will try ! 🌻

submitted 42 days ago • 4 comments

I've always stuggled with emotions and feelings. How I word it is, the first real emotion I felt was love at 19. I assumed cause trauma, being raped every day seems to do that to someone. I had no feelings, no interests, I was quiet, and just kept to myself. I had no friends, I never needed one.

submitted 65 days ago • 1 comment

Adderall, once more. I feel much better.

submitted 66 days ago • 0 comments

Mom made sm pasta, and I want to binge on it ! I feel sick today, too...ahhh, but good day besides that, aa

submitted 71 days ago • 0 comments

Had a weird dream about my ex fiancee. Like him, not one of his alters, Spencer before he wasn't allowed to front anymore. He was miserable and sat hunched over. I think he was ashamed? Or defensive, uncomfortable. Some sort of party was happening.

submitted 72 days ago • 1 comment

BINGE DEFLECTED. Prayed to Aphrodite, i feel guilty involving her with my Ed, but...i think she's very understanding. I asked for help too just to eat the amount I needed and to not binge, and sorta strength to eat and not be so...scared to binge. I ate normally, it was really nice.

submitted 73 days ago • 1 comment

My parents are getting food, and it's stressing me out insanely bad. I am already at 1000 cals today. I was just hungry and still am hungry. I just know I'm gonna binge. Like, i hate this feeling sm, and I feel like the medicine is not gonna even stop me.

submitted 73 days ago • 1 comment

FUUCCCKKKKK I NEED TO GET KILLED 😭😭😭😭😭

submitted 74 days ago • 2 comments

+⠀ ⠀ ⠀˚⠀ ⣴⠟⠉⠉⠛⢦⡀⢀⣴⠛⠉⠈⠙⠻⣄ ⠀⠀⣼⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣦ ⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⠀⠀⠿⣆⠀ ⠀ -20 lbs ⣰⡆ ⠀⠀⠀⢻⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡼⠃ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⢦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡴⠛ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠶⣄⠶⠋ ⠀⠀⠀+. *

submitted 75 days ago • 0 comments

Ah, my best friend communicated very well with this lady he's been seeing. She had a very odd outburst, and I procceded to watch him write like 5 paragraphs back to her. Not only sorta destroying whatever odd bout she was on, but clearly trying to talk to her and communicate. This is so sexy

submitted 75 days ago • 1 comment

I ate pasta last night. A BIG fear food, and was able to eat it without guilt. It actually wasn't the best, and me unmedicated would've had a breakdown over so many cals and it not being super yummy. It's really nice. I ate some chocolate today. I had stored for like months.

submitted 76 days ago • 1 comment

Adderall lowkey helping my relationship with food. The stress and guilt when eating is mostly gone. I don't feel like I'm "slipping." I just feel like i can't enjoy food without being scared I'm gonna binge or overeat.

submitted 76 days ago • 0 comments

This dream was the night before my friend called him my best friend and that he loved me dearly. I was upset about men not wanting to just be innocent with me, always sex or romantic when I just want friends. And...well, the dream called me out about that.

submitted 77 days ago • 1 comment

Some other dreams I've had recently. I dreamt I was on an elevator going up to meet someone. I was lonely, and despite knowing this man only wanted me in ways I didn't want (sexually and romantically), I was still going for the sake of my loneliness and seeking connection.

submitted 77 days ago • 1 comment

i'm like cinderella except when the clock hits midnight i start spiraling and losing my mind

submitted 77 days ago • 0 comments

I've been having dreams about deities more often now. I ask normally if it's a sign or just a simple dream, but normally, they try to send me signs and messages this way, especially when I ask and let them. I really like dream analysis and got a bit intuitive, so I can actually somewhat decipher it

submitted 77 days ago • 1 comment

Okay, so I am luckily able to take adderall pretty regularly now. I am on it again and just very thankful and hopeful. If anything, it makes me a little sleepy and bouts of not actually able to be verbal. But otherwise amazing for my head and binge.

submitted 79 days ago • 0 comments