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mikemuth.bsky.social
Retired and enjoying the never-ending Saturday. Looking after 8 (sometimes more) feral/community cats plus my housecats.
1,320 posts 233 followers 479 following
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Posts 41 Comments 9

submitted 13 minutes ago • 0 comments

I love how in scary movies, the person yells out "Hello?" as if the killer is going to be like "Yeah, I'm in the kitchen. Want a sandwich?"

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My wife got stung by a bee on the forehead, she's at the ER now, her face all swollen and bruised, She almost died. Lucky I was close enough to hit the bee with my shovel!

submitted 23 hours ago • 0 comments

I accidentally used my mom’s fabric scissors to cut wrapping paper and now the cops are here - Dan Duvall

submitted 23 hours ago • 1 comment

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

I haven't gotten a thing done today. I've been in the produce department trying to open this stupid plastic bag. (I know, "the bag is stupid?")

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I appreciate MSWord more whenever I have to deal with WordPerfect. This is called "damning with faint praise."

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

I see Fort Moore is back to being Fort Benning Named for Hal Moore, hero of the Ia Drang, the naming was meant to represent a recognition of the generations of Americans who fought in Vietnam Still waiting on this country to stop repeatedly fucking over its Vietnam veterans

submitted 42 days ago • 30 comments

As long as we don't see any apes on horseback with guns, we're still doing okay.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

The genius of you Americans is that you never make clear cut stupid moves, only complicated stupid moves which make us wonder at the possibility that there may be something to them which we are missing. - Gamal Abdel Nasser

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Kids putting their teeth under the pillows is the most occultist shit in the world. Yes, child, put the discarded bone under your pillow. If you are lucky the tiny demon will come and make her purchase. Sell your bones for riches, my child, your youth will be spent soon. - Dana Schwartz

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.

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Let me in, please 😂 🎥onlycutecats #cats

submitted 3 days ago • 118 comments

I kinda always imagined incorrectly that in post collapse sci-fi society sorta gradually fell apart or was left too disorganized by war as opposed to, you know, an entire group of people just very deliberately taking rapid steps each day to make everything as bad as it possibly can be

submitted 3 days ago • 5 comments

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Decided as a New Year’s resolution to banish candy from next to my computer and put prunes there to snack on instead. Definitely do not do this. - Felicia Day

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Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us. Please, continue to suffer, and your scream will be heard in the order in which it was received.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Once I went to a party with my new husband. The party was full of people he knew from work. I didn't know any of them. A guy came up to us, turned to me, and said, "You must be his wife." I turned to my husband and said, "You have a WIFE?"

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We cannot tolerate the proliferation of this paperwork any longer. It is useless to fight the forms. We must kill the people producing them. - Vladimir Kabaidze, Director of the Ivanovo Machine Works, speech at the Communist Party Congress, 1936.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

A man couldn't stand another minute with his blind date. He had arranged to have a friend call him so he would have an excuse to leave. When he returned, he said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather has just died." "Thank Goodness, if yours hadn't, mine would've had to."

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

I'm experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep /everyone/ away.

submitted 5 days ago • 1 comment

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Just because you can connect to your upstairs neighbor's Bluetooth soundbar and play ghost noises doesn't mean you should.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments