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milkmandanimal.bsky.social
Generally human, lover of cats, guitars, D&D, and other humans
140 posts 59 followers 59 following
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@chriswarcraft.bsky.social

submitted 217 days ago • 0 comments

The timeline right now looks like an Ewok party after the Death Star exploded

submitted 274 days ago • 89 comments

Used the Google Assistant's voice feature to set a reminder to "do hose" for 2:00 p.m. and it instead spelled it "do hoes" and now I am very much wondering what kind of information Google is using to think that was the right word to use there.

submitted 450 days ago • 0 comments

My wife bought a 4.5 pound jar of maraschino cherries to make her yearly chocolate-covered cherries. It is large. We have spent the last hour trying to find it in our house. She says she "put it somewhere we wound find it," which, so far, seems less than entirely true.

submitted 468 days ago • 0 comments

Halloween outfit is Boring Middle-Aged Suburbanite; considered trying for Sexy Boring Middle-Aged Suburbanite but then realize mirrors exist and after checking one realized that would have been more than a little difficult.

submitted 486 days ago • 0 comments

Good: Realizing the wife is out for the night so I can cook something aromatic and spicy without annoying her. Good: Making authentic Kung Pao shrimp, getting out the Sichuan peppercorn and dried peppers, and preparing them. Not So Good: Forgetting you just did that and rubbing your eyes.

submitted 497 days ago • 1 comment

Always a good sign when your players request a throwback from a beloved earlier D&D Halloween adventure you ran; now I just have to figure out why the vampire cows have come back to threaten the land again.

submitted 499 days ago • 0 comments

Iowa beats Wisconsin 15-6; QB Deacon Hill was 6-14 for 37 yards. Brian Ferentz is a legend. In a very bad way.

submitted 503 days ago • 0 comments

"You boy, what day is this??"

submitted 505 days ago • 29 comments

Microsoft has officially acquired Activision-Blizzard; the part of me that realizes endless corporate consolidation is bad on many levels is in conflict with the part of me that knows ActiBlizz's management were toxic, awful douchebags and Microsoft has traditionally been better in many ways.

submitted 504 days ago • 0 comments

www.amazon.com/Poop-Like-Ch... Someone is selling Poop Like a Champion cereal. Is this the convergence? Have old SNL commercials achieved sentience?

submitted 507 days ago • 0 comments

I have eaten the plums that were in the icebox and which you were probably saving for breakfast haha you've been just completely fuckin owned plumless asshole

submitted 628 days ago • 15 comments

Oh, Caroline Polachek was in Chairlift? A band I really liked? This may explain why I like her voice so much.

submitted 511 days ago • 0 comments

patch.com/minnesota/mi... You know, sometimes it's just best to not read the headline, as nothing was ever going to live up to "Giraffe Poop Intended For Jewelry Seized At MSP Airport: Officials".

submitted 512 days ago • 0 comments

What if the 5G call did actually turn me into a zombie and since I'm a 53-year-old guy who lives in the suburbs and works from home I just haven't noticed?

submitted 513 days ago • 0 comments

When the alert went off I was biking to the auto body shop to pick a car up; feel pretty safe if this is the apocalypse, because I'm guessing zombies aren't going to want the brain of somebody who was stupid enough to back into a car sitting in his own driveway.

submitted 513 days ago • 0 comments

The bad thing about Kevin McCarthy being utterly humiliated by being removed as Speaker of the House is

submitted 514 days ago • 0 comments

So . . . Monday Night Football. I would suggest while I always appreciate daring, innovative offensive ideas in the game of Football, the Giants deciding to actually play a game with five literally dead men instead of an offensive line is proving to be a less than entirely sound concept in practice.

submitted 515 days ago • 1 comment

Handed out two more Bluesky invites; it's becoming apparent being a 53-year-old suburbanite means I do not have a social circle who understands how cool I am in having multiple invites that nobody wants. The struggle is real.

submitted 515 days ago • 0 comments

Dr. Ian Malcolm: Yeah, but your Eggo scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should.

submitted 520 days ago • 0 comments

I realize NFL Bluesky isn't much of a thing yet, but, to pretend it is, the best thing I can say about Desmond Ridder as a QB is he doesn't fumble when he takes stupid sacks.

submitted 523 days ago • 0 comments

Me normally: "I have to find ways to reduce my impact on the environment, we've only got one planet." Me spending five minutes trying to get a new bag open for the compost bin: "WHAT THE FUCK WHY IS IT STUCK TOGETHER SO MUCH I WILL BURN FIVE TREES AND PUNCH A SQUIRREL IN THE GODDAMN FACE."

submitted 525 days ago • 0 comments

Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says, "You think that's bad, this meal cost me $78 at Newark Airport."

submitted 526 days ago • 0 comments