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milldawg.bsky.social
i'm just a silly little guy
76 posts 18 followers 43 following
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Posts 16 Comments 34

ME (popping up): why are they called expired hotdogs when they could be called spoiled brats CORONER STRUGGLING TO SHOVE ME BACK IN THE COFFIN: god damn it how is he still doing this after nine autopsies

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

PSY as a psychiatrist: oppan insecure attachment style

submitted 25 days ago • 0 comments

"Go to hell," I explained thoughtfully

submitted 51 days ago • 7 comments

"You had ONE JOB!!" -manager who assigned you 3,604 jobs, 3,603 of which you performed perfectly

submitted 70 days ago • 0 comments

Berry Crispmas to all, and to all a nutritious breakfast high in protein and fiber! this post is brought to you by our sponsor, Kashi cereals

submitted 71 days ago • 0 comments

someBODY once told me this baby would be holy the son of God was born in a shed three gifts did we confer of gold, frankincense, and myrrh as the horses looked on from their horse bed

submitted 71 days ago • 0 comments

Please, call me Hank. Mr. Beast is my father.

submitted 75 days ago • 0 comments

me: I'm really depressed today, I had to ethanize Fido yesterday friend: oh no! I'm so sorr- wait, do you mean "euthanize"? me: [on the verge of tears] no ethan: arf arf arf

submitted 103 days ago • 0 comments

man, england is so wack. why are there soooo many politicians?? like, LITERALLY everyone is a governor

submitted 105 days ago • 0 comments

heading out with the boys to go belittle each other down at the Derogatorium

submitted 129 days ago • 1 comment

Extending kindness & compassion to myself as a prank. Practicing self-care regularly as a joke. Drinking water so that I don't get dehydrated as a bit. Taking care of myself because it is funny.

submitted 136 days ago • 16 comments

FUN DAD FACT: dads were invented in 1961 by a team of sports equipment mamufacturers as part of a marketing campaign to boost sales of baseball catcher's mitts

submitted 154 days ago • 0 comments

[witch class] WITCH TEACHER ADMINISTERING POP QUIZ: state the ingredients for a Potion of Vigilance WITCH STUDENT WHO DID NOT STUDY, LIKE, AT ALL: uh...um...e-eye of newt... hip of potamus?

submitted 155 days ago • 0 comments

tripping and falling during my combat phase because I forgot to summon a Poise Elemental

submitted 157 days ago • 0 comments

we've all got that one homie ensconced in a crumbling, once palatial manse

submitted 490 days ago • 2 comments

listen matey, this mizzenmast ain't gonna hoist itself

submitted 170 days ago • 0 comments