moeottis.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

I got tired of moving my own limbs so I released ten thousand ants into my nervous system and I’m letting them control my muscles for the day, since they’ve been so well behaved

submitted 16 hours ago • 1 comment

The tweakers that live in my walls have formed a tenants union and are going on a rent strike. They want to negotiate it down from three sloppy handjobs a week to two a month, I’m ready to fight like Hell Moe-bot weapons have all been set to “complete annihilation” mode

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

I’m a wild animal

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

The MoeDrill-x9001 is almost finished construction. I designated Moe Clone 3329 as the project manager, and so far he has done an immaculate job. Probably going to give him a raise at some point this summer.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

Just watched Moe Clone 667-D give birth to a creature made of smoke and shadow. It has the face of an Angel, yet I can’t stop crying when I look at it. I’m looking into local dog shows to see if I can get it entered, I think I’ve got a true winner on my hands

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Some hooligan threw an egg at one of my patrolling Moe-bots, instantly disabling its electronics and causing its nuclear core to meltdown. I am declaring that In-N-Out and the surrounding area to be off limits until I can seal the place in lead.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

I am actually the real victim of all the crimes I commit, I have to live with feeling bad about it. You can’t feel bad if you’re dead

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

I’m really not a fan of the new holiday that was just proposed by @jd-vance-1.bsky.social ! #HitAnElderlyWomanAt85mphMonday ? What the fuck man?

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

While my niece is dead and she will remain that way until July 10th, you guys can still catch her twitch stream tomorrow where she’ll be showing everyone how to make ghost burgers in the ghost dimension on her George Foreman Ghost Grill™

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Tomorrow, I’ll be the designated bitch of Burbank. You can spit on me. Gob me. Slobber me. Stomp on me. Dribble some phlegm on my chest. Anything you want. I fucking deserve this.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Got bored so I decided to melt all the flesh off my left cheek by pressing it against the asphalt for a minute. It'll be back by the evening, but I just needed to feel something

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

My new legs are from Somali Moe. Don’t know how it happen, I thought I cleared all the Somalian DNA from my database years ago, but sometimes life throws you a curveball The rest of the body will be used as the flesh seed for the resurrection of my niece on July 10th

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Clone chamber just spit out a Moe Clone that was made of 97% teeth. Moe Bot 12 had to blast it 5 times with the Moe Clone obliteration ray. Life isn’t always beautiful.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

I’m firing up the Moe clone chamber once more just to grow some new Moe legs. The surviving clones are too precious to me to steal any of their limbs. I have several Moe-bots with their turrets aimed at the chamber in case anything goes wrong

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

Just learned that crab people are not allowed into Israel. Typical… Gonna have to have some major surgery soon if I want to keep my July plans alive.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

Someone put Cinnamon Toast Crunch in my bowl of breakfast shrimp tails. I am NOT happy

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

Thank you Gav! @governor.ca.gov The new pair of crab legs you gave me are working great. Still getting used to being a decapod, but life just throws you curveballs every now and then. I can’t wait to show my crab wife this beautiful new upgrade. She is going to find me even more attractive.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

I let myself get hit by a train just to prove how much I don't give a shit about it. Yell at me all you want bitch, I'm not listening If anyone knows of any spare legs they aren't using at the moment, please hit me up. They don't need to be human

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

Last night I cried and jerked off while listening to The Smiths again and Korean Moe caught it all on beautiful 35mm film.

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

Was just detained by LAPD for “frolicking”. This world is cruel and evil.

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

I’m starting the #SaveHumanity initiative. This will solely involve eliminating any person who has fornicated, and/or procreated with an Italian. We will not stop until we achieve our goal: #EliminationOfAllItalianChildren I hope you all understand what’s at stake here.

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

Might fuck around and wipe out another uncontacted tribe living in the middle of the Indian Ocean. You know, just cause I’m bored as hell

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

I’ve got so much lead in my brain you could call me JFK

submitted 9 days ago • 1 comment

Alright FINE! @jd-vance-1.bsky.social You’ve broken me. I got your last text about not coming to pottery club tonight and I think this “friendship” is done. Finished. TERMINATED! Next time you’re at my place, pack up your shit and get out. We’re through. pushes gun into roof of mouth

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

I’m on strict “Shit now, flush later” policy. If you catch me flushing before I shit, you’ll also catch me hanging from a ceiling fan approximately 2 hours later.

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Told a bitch I was 6 foot Fun and she started squirting so hard she died of dehydration

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Every time a sneeze a new hyper resistant strain of bacteria is released into the fucked up world I’m just a waiter in God’s restaurant and the special dish of the day is total extinction

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

Fantastic news for all my fans: My nieces twitch channel has been reinstated after it was UNLAWFULLY banned last month when she “leaked” JK Rowling’s private onlyfans and wikifeet pages. Her big comeback stream is this Friday! She will be showing everyone how to get children addicted to gambling.

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

Just want to let you all know that Casper the “friendly ghost” is not friendly in the slightest I have never met a ruder and more entitled ghost in my life, and I live with the ghost of Uncle Karl Don’t believe the lies in the media

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

Accidentally made a rat king with my all of my clones big old floppy Johnsons. I haven’t uploaded the medical doctor programming to Sheldon Sheinbaum’s brain yet so we might be stuck like this for a while. This is the last time we engage in a “Moe-rry Go Round”

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

I’m like a car that runs on soy sauce and coyote piss. You couldn’t fucking stop me if you tried

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

No one showed up for my bitcoin giveaway. Not even my dear Alice. My psyche is damaged beyond repair.

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

I’m making a new kind of Jew in my basement with scotch tape and dryer lint

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

Aliens are known for being strong

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

Very excited to announce my July plans on here finally. ⚠️ Moe Goes to Israel ⚠️ yup, it’s happening folks. I will be documenting any and all tomfoolery, general high jinks, monkeying around, etc. I of course will also be bringing Korean Moe and Chiang Kai-shek with me. I’m low on Jew Meat.

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

The Moe Nuclear Facility in Lagos Nigeria is almost up and running. Just got word that one of the top nuclear scientists was just assassinated, this will set the project back a few weeks. Korean Moe was so distraught he’s been doing nothing but read physics textbooks for the last 12 hours

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

Had to pull the plug on my niece this morning.

submitted 16 days ago • 1 comment

I’m cooking up one of my classic “Wet and Sloppy’s” for all you ungrateful bastards. I had to drain one of my most beautiful sons of all his lymphatic fluid to make this happen. Give me a fucking smile for once

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

I really don’t think most people understand just how fucking good crab pussy feels.

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

Very disappointed the Marines have not shown up on the streets of LA yet. I just finished construction of my Marine-Gooifier ray last week and I was so flipping excited to test it out yesterday. #GodHatesMoekind

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

Y’all can’t even comprehend my Turkish delight recipe. It actually kills people.

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

The child coffin industry is a gold mine for those who know what they’re doing, that’s a little financial tip from me to you

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

Everybody listen to this right fucking now: youtu.be/2TM2ZOl1wLQ?...

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments