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motherquoter.bsky.social
here from twitter. serial procrastinating artist & writer 🏳️‍🌈 📮: https://boxd.it/8lg5r 📚: https://www.goodreads.com/christophermac 📷: https://www.instagram.com/christophermac6714/ 🐦: https://x.com/motherquoter
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I love throwing my girlies one of these every so often, but not too often y'know?

Not my new health insurance casually letting me know I'm going to die in 2078 😵😵

The 2000s were wild because why was Madonna out here singing about coffee giving her diarrhea??!

[Picking a fight with my bf] "I've had it up to here with you!" (points to my second hole)

WUTTTTT is going on???

Gay people post about deleting Grindr the same way Selena Gomez posts about quitting social media

Sometimes I forget the abbreviation 'ofc' means 'of course' because it makes no sense! It breaks all the rules and we just accept it?! Why isn't it 'oc' like it should be? Where's the outrage?! We used to be a learned people!

(when you hit him up again and he ghosts you) 🎶 NO GOOD BREED GOES UNPUNIIISHED 🎶

Ummmmmmmmm

It's crazy how "Our long national nightmare is over" was about Nixon just being a lying liar who lies, but now it's used colloquially for things that are much, much, much worse

We still call this the Tappan Zee Bridge and you expect us to stop saying the Gulf of Mexico??!

Initialisms with multiple meanings that always make me do a double take: - POS (Point Of Sale or Piece Of Shit?) - FF (Fantasy Football, Final Fantasy, or Fist Fucking?) - CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Chromatica Ball Tour, or Cock and Ball Torture?)

The fact we haven't gotten a Dianne Wiest and Renée Zellweger mother-daughter movie yet is a crime against cinema

I realize I'm 4 years too late, but this just came to me

When your upstairs neighbors move out, your landlord should be legally required to let you pick who moves in (preferably a celibate narcoleptic who's allergic to dogs)

Speedo check or whatever! 🩲

I found an ancient artifact in my closet

I went skiing in the freezing cold please fap

People who pronounce biopic as bi-opic instead of bio-pic should have their AMC A-List cards revoked. It's a portmanteau of bio-graphical pic-ture, not bi-sexual my-opic!!!

The weather: ❄️🌨🧊🥶 My seasonal depression:

If there's one thing Tilda Swinton's gonna do it's give us a gorgeous movie poster

When someone you follow because they're hot starts expressing their opinions

Road rage is so funny to me like I'm just minding my own business and you wanna fuck me so bad you're holding your car orgasm down

Before MAL After MAL

Whoever said "Laughter is the best medicine" must've never tried ketamine