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mr.business

executive vice president of #business @hashtag.biz thought leader • maximize synergy • add me on linkedin your friendly water cooler "chaotic corporate clown" welcome to mr business's bizarre boardroom

144 posts 20 followers 14 following

Posts 37 Comments 13

I got a cute little metal box and I put a cute little sticker on it and it’s really cute ok

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

look all im saying is my outie eats innies like you for breakfast

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

normalize saying goodbye at the end of voice memos

submitted 6 days ago • 2 comments

every time someone tries to help me with my bags I try to hand them both bags at the same time and everyone gets confused and flustered and I need to focus on my sequencing just a raw thought for later

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

cash rules everything around me wordle wordle bills yall

submitted 8 days ago • 1 comment

fifteen two fifteen four a double run for twelve and a partridge in a pear tree

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

got that triple monitor setup at the brewery please put in a good word in for my performance review

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

put on the black eyed peas it’ll change your life

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

executive power move is leaving the group at 11 to go home and get a full night’s sleep

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

proud to announce I’ve started a new role as Chief Mimosa Officer of UA 2046 during my tenure as CMO I plan to increase bubbly:oj ratio by 25%

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

I didn’t pay for this Lyft Black SUV, it chose me like the executive I am

submitted 11 days ago • 1 comment

i earned these gray hairs one meeting at a time

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

this week I am dba █▀▄▀█ █▀█ █░▀░█ █▀▄ █▄▄ █░█ █▀ █ █▄█ █▄█ ▄█ █ █▄░█ █▀▀ █▀ █▀ █░▀█ ██▄ ▄█ ▄█ (I am going to texas)

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

no, never triangle face i hate triangle face it scares me

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

just realized I’m gonna start unconsciously calling people kiddo in like five years

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

hello why did you connect to the company vpn from a WiFi called “WFH Not Working”

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

office is closed today so I’m just gonna wander the halls of my condo building hoping to bump into someone I can micromanage

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

gonna put my favorite youtube music videos on the board room tv and tell everyone to do karaoke with me

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

100

submitted 17 days ago • 1 comment

I did a little cleaning and effective immediately lmao now stands for Lead Manager’s Attractive Office

submitted 27 days ago • 0 comments

one year cliff five minute butte six second lagoon four year water cycle

submitted 28 days ago • 0 comments

never meet your heroes cause they don’t talk at 1.75x speed irl

submitted 30 days ago • 0 comments

emotional support water bottles are just personal water coolers and that’s why they are so good for your home office culture

submitted 31 days ago • 0 comments

in wisconsin we actually call them bubbler pens

submitted 33 days ago • 0 comments

you did good work today i’m proud of you

submitted 33 days ago • 0 comments

gonna ask my dentist if they ever give people tiaras instead of crowns

submitted 33 days ago • 0 comments

I am going to eat a soup dumpling and maybe then I’ll feel better

submitted 40 days ago • 0 comments

i’m just a horizontal dude living in a vertical world

submitted 42 days ago • 1 comment

startup idea: reddit for babies

submitted 42 days ago • 0 comments

legally this is a “reduction in app installs”

submitted 43 days ago • 0 comments

what is stock options A. that cheap material school kids put science fair projects on B. when a farmer has so many different animals to choose from C. a promise to sell you something but discounted but you have to wait for years but also you cant sell them to anyone probably D. all of the above

submitted 47 days ago • 0 comments

what is board of directors A. that cheap material school kids put science fair projects on B. when a movie has to be extra good so they use the budget on all of Hollywood’s best people and they share C. a group of cuties that combine like in power rangers and can fire the ceo D. all of the above

submitted 47 days ago • 1 comment

I didn’t even know a bird could throw a football that’s crazy

submitted 49 days ago • 0 comments

my New Year's resolution is to eat 3 jacks pizzas at the dive bar every weekend with my friends

submitted 57 days ago • 0 comments

I got a cute little metal box and I put a cute little sticker on it and it’s really cute ok

look all im saying is my outie eats innies like you for breakfast

normalize saying goodbye at the end of voice memos

every time someone tries to help me with my bags I try to hand them both bags at the same time and everyone gets confused and flustered and I need to focus on my sequencing just a raw thought for later

cash rules everything around me wordle wordle bills yall

fifteen two fifteen four a double run for twelve and a partridge in a pear tree

got that triple monitor setup at the brewery please put in a good word in for my performance review

put on the black eyed peas it’ll change your life

executive power move is leaving the group at 11 to go home and get a full night’s sleep

proud to announce I’ve started a new role as Chief Mimosa Officer of UA 2046 during my tenure as CMO I plan to increase bubbly:oj ratio by 25%

I didn’t pay for this Lyft Black SUV, it chose me like the executive I am

i earned these gray hairs one meeting at a time

this week I am dba █▀▄▀█ █▀█ █░▀░█ █▀▄ █▄▄ █░█ █▀ █ █▄█ █▄█ ▄█ █ █▄░█ █▀▀ █▀ █▀ █░▀█ ██▄ ▄█ ▄█ (I am going to texas)

no, never triangle face i hate triangle face it scares me

just realized I’m gonna start unconsciously calling people kiddo in like five years

hello why did you connect to the company vpn from a WiFi called “WFH Not Working”

office is closed today so I’m just gonna wander the halls of my condo building hoping to bump into someone I can micromanage

gonna put my favorite youtube music videos on the board room tv and tell everyone to do karaoke with me

100

I did a little cleaning and effective immediately lmao now stands for Lead Manager’s Attractive Office

one year cliff five minute butte six second lagoon four year water cycle

never meet your heroes cause they don’t talk at 1.75x speed irl

emotional support water bottles are just personal water coolers and that’s why they are so good for your home office culture

in wisconsin we actually call them bubbler pens

you did good work today i’m proud of you

gonna ask my dentist if they ever give people tiaras instead of crowns

I am going to eat a soup dumpling and maybe then I’ll feel better

i’m just a horizontal dude living in a vertical world

startup idea: reddit for babies

legally this is a “reduction in app installs”

what is stock options A. that cheap material school kids put science fair projects on B. when a farmer has so many different animals to choose from C. a promise to sell you something but discounted but you have to wait for years but also you cant sell them to anyone probably D. all of the above

what is board of directors A. that cheap material school kids put science fair projects on B. when a movie has to be extra good so they use the budget on all of Hollywood’s best people and they share C. a group of cuties that combine like in power rangers and can fire the ceo D. all of the above

I didn’t even know a bird could throw a football that’s crazy

my New Year's resolution is to eat 3 jacks pizzas at the dive bar every weekend with my friends

in the guest room trying so hard to sound like a ghost but the only ghost I know is casper so im just being really really friendly, hope its working

risk it for the biscoff, actually

AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! dats me at da bar when they ran out of the keg