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mrcarter3.bsky.social
I'm just a Dirty minded, Extremely sarcastic, always caffeinated Trump trolling...dude. My shitposts https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:vvlw2ggojhkpmivjzdcniuzr/feed/aaacuyg5vogtg
1,070 posts 1,590 followers 247 following
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Posts 44 Comments 1

I think my cat accidentally read the news this morning.

submitted 18 hours ago • 15 comments

It’s a little known fact but the Himalaya were the first mountain range to use a pronoun.

submitted 17 hours ago • 1 comment

can’t I’m tending this powder keg

submitted 17 hours ago • 2 comments

This email could have been a “good morning, beautiful” DM.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

I sent you a “good morning, beautiful” DM. Please respond.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Relationship status: Sending myself a “good morning, beautiful” message.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Who’s up skeeting about buttholes for Jesus?

submitted 12 hours ago • 1 comment

Night crew has the best time

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

Fruity white claws.

submitted 1 day ago • 9 comments

*being eaten by a shark* debate me you coward

submitted 1 day ago • 5 comments

"Waste not, want not," I say cheerfully as I eat the cereal box.

submitted 1 day ago • 9 comments

When I was young I would sneak out of the house to go to parties...Older me sneaks out of parties to go home

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

Not to brag but I'm extremely flexable..I mean I stick my foot in mouth on the regular

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Me:I don't believe in astrology Also me: Reads horoscope I'm so fucked today

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Does your mom know you send unsolicited dick pics on the internet?

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Hot moms in your area don’t want to see your dick.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Hot moms in your area want you to delete your account.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

A starter pack of people who should delete their accounts.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

the mid-nineties were thirty years ago and that hurts my feelings

submitted 3 days ago • 39 comments

Relationship status: Sending myself a “goodnight, beautiful” message.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

It’s only Thursday so suck it up, buttercup. -Inspirational.

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

Finishing food off your kids plate shouldn't count as calories...I mean it's their food

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

I had to delete that post... Cause my other personalities saw it and disagreed

submitted 6 days ago • 1 comment

The fridge is a perfect example of what matters is all on the inside

submitted 6 days ago • 1 comment

You say Stay Safe like you know I'm clumsy.

submitted 10 days ago • 1 comment

Sure I'll give a reassuring wink just before I know someone is going to do something stupid.

submitted 10 days ago • 1 comment

The bad news is I've lost my damn mind. And the good news is I've lost my damn mind.

submitted 8 days ago • 14 comments

If you're scrolling and think..not her again. That shit makes my day.

submitted 8 days ago • 9 comments

First date idea: You show up wearing your best cargo shorts.

submitted 6 days ago • 1 comment

It’s motherfuckers in cargo shorts season.

submitted 6 days ago • 3 comments

You have daddy issues, I have DILF issues. We are not the same.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

These are my emotional support sweat shorts.

submitted 6 days ago • 1 comment

Once I post my booty in sweat shorts, it’s over for you bitches.

submitted 6 days ago • 1 comment

Sorry I’m late, I was looking for DILFs.

submitted 6 days ago • 1 comment

There should be a loyalty rewards program for overthinking.

submitted 6 days ago • 8 comments

just give me 2 minutes w kristi noem without her goons. i just wanna talk

submitted 9 days ago • 11 comments

Anyway im gonna watch Urban Cowboy and blaze

submitted 10 days ago • 7 comments

for every 50 likes (within reason) i’ll put dwight schrute in a famous work of art.

submitted 10 days ago • 20 comments

I’m so damaged that the more fucked up things get the more hopeful I become that we’re getting closer to the breaking point. It will burn very brightly.

submitted 10 days ago • 328 comments

When life gives me lemons, I just eat the lemons. I like lemons.

submitted 10 days ago • 16 comments

I gave him the rope and sure enough he hung himself

submitted 10 days ago • 2 comments

In this house we say: Please, and thank you and fuck all the way off

submitted 10 days ago • 3 comments

You’d never know it from the tl but a whole plane crashed today killing almost 300 people

submitted 10 days ago • 5 comments

repeating my typo to myself like i'm chanting a rosary in a film while the killer is putting an axe thru my door

submitted 10 days ago • 6 comments