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mrkeithtaylor.bsky.social
Bestselling author of This Is the Way the World Ends: an Oral History of the Zombie War: http://amzn.to/3O6xBWm Anti-Brexit and pro-Free Movement. Permanent resident of Mongolia for reasons that defy explanation
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Posts 21 Comments 29

This is excellent, and you should read it.

submitted 1 hour ago • 0 comments

All these people eagerly bringing the worst cautionary tales of literature into the real world and we still haven't had a *single* dinosaur theme park. We are BLOWING this

submitted 2 hours ago • 0 comments

I think a lot of the terror of the modern age can be understood by the fact that the Internet accelerated the development of the worst type of person, the "Anti-Intellectual Nerd."

submitted 3 hours ago • 95 comments

Pretty sure whoever named it smegma wasn’t asked to name things after that

submitted 21 hours ago • 10 comments

Inside me is Dick Wolf -- Dick Wolf's wife, probably

submitted 4 hours ago • 0 comments

Moe: What are you telling us, we're trapped like rats? Russ Cargill: No, rats can't be trapped this easily, you're trapped like...carrots. -- The Simpsons Movie

submitted 10 hours ago • 1 comment

“I write the songs that make the whole world sing” he crooned evilly as the brainwashed masses sang along robotically, having no will to resist.

submitted 5 hours ago • 4 comments

Me: Ow, my midrift hurts You: You mean midriff, idiot [Raises shirt to reveal a gaping chasm, within not just darkness but a realm light cannot enter. You feel the primeval terror of the ancient night. You hear the whispers, the threats, of creatures cold, vast and unknowable] Me: No, my midrift

submitted 5 hours ago • 0 comments

My most RFK opinion is that fasted cardio is much more effective for weight loss than fed cardio despite there being pretty much zero evidence to support the theory, and quite a lot to suggest it isn't really a thing. But it's a belief that doesn't kill kids, so meh

submitted 11 hours ago • 0 comments

trying to eat a handful of cheese out of the bag without alerting my cat

submitted 13 hours ago • 2 comments

This is what Tobey Maguire said to JT Walsh in the courthouse to goad him into turning to colour

submitted 14 hours ago • 0 comments

[Typing with my face] hOw HUngRy wAs THe caTErpiLlar My productivity is off the fucking chart

submitted 23 hours ago • 0 comments

It's no longer Father's Day in my time zone, but if you are in line to tell a dad joke STAY IN LINE

submitted 23 hours ago • 0 comments

[Blows nose] Man, trees are really cumming hard today, huh

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

It's a beautiful day outside, I have a 7 mile walk mapped out and I've been waiting for a customer who's been 20-30 minutes away for the past two hours. This will not stand. Summer's wastin'

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

My will instructs that following cremation my ashes should be returned to my iPad and smart watch I want to be left to my own devices

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

A military par raid is when Trump orders the Joint Chiefs to help him cheat at golf

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Deep cut

submitted 1 day ago • 4 comments

My best friend's fiancée spent all of last night deeply invested in trying to hook me up for a one night stand with her improbably hot tall blonde Belarusian friend. I was more interested in heading home to drunkenly gorge on pizza, but I have to applaud the effort. Girl friends > guy friends

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

chatgpt isn't built to do math right or play chess well or retrieve reliable information. it's there to automate the process of turning someone into a lunatic online

submitted 2 days ago • 3 comments

Walked into an elevator with my kids. Tom Hanks was in it. “Hello, Tom Hanks.” My kids looking at me like I’m INSANE - why are you talking to a stranger? How do you know his name? TOM HANKS: Close your eyes. (Reluctantly, they do) He goes into full Woody voice. “Andy’s coming!” Smiles. [FIN]

submitted 3 days ago • 66 comments