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mrqroth.bsky.social
29 posts 19 followers 19 following
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Posts 28 Comments 1

My wife asked me to stop singing “Wonderwall” to her. I said maybe...

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today. It was clogged.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

This is the greatest case of false advertising I’ve seen since I sued the movie “The Never Ending Story.”

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, identity theft is a crime.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

My horoscope today... It's unclear if you are going to murder ice cream men, or become an ice cream man and murder people, but the stars are pretty certain you are going to be know as "The Ice Cream Man Murderer"

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

My wife was pretty upset with me this morning because there was a large mess in the kitchen. You see I was telling dad jokes to the eggs and they all cracked up.

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

I got confused with Alcoholics Anonymous and the automobile association when I tried to join recently. Either way, I’m on the road to recovery!

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Feeling a bit creative my wife wrote a song about a tortilla. Well, it’s actually more of a wrap I guess.

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

There exists a quantity of artificial butter flavor beyond which people begin to believe it is not butter. This is known as the margarine of error.

submitted 10 days ago • 1 comment

I was really angry at my friend Mark for stealing my dictionary. I told him, "Mark, my words!"

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

"All that serves labor serves the nation. All that harms is treason. If a man tells you he trusts America, yet fears labor, he is a fool. There is no America without labor, and to fleece the one is to rob the other." --Abraham Lincoln

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine: we just get better with age. The next day she locked me in the cellar.

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 13 days ago • 1 comment

Air used to be free at the gas station, now it costs 2.50. You want to know why? Inflation.

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

It's like black Friday for me today. Up early to get the best prices on chocolate and flowers!!

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

My wife and I are in a band called “Duvet”. We’re a cover band.

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

Imagine walking into a bar and there is a long line of people waiting to take a swing at you. That’s the punchline.

submitted 22 days ago • 0 comments

I just watched a program about beavers. It was the best damn documentary I’ve seen!

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

This is the greatest gift I’ve ever been given. I found this on my desk this morning… I love my Service Techs

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

St Francis worked at Krispy Kreme. He was a deep friar.

submitted 24 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 27 days ago • 0 comments

If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.

submitted 27 days ago • 0 comments

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

submitted 28 days ago • 1 comment

To the man in the wheel chair that stole my camouflage jacket. You can hide, but you can’t run!

submitted 29 days ago • 1 comment

In all my years studying science I’ve learned one important lesson, never trust atoms. They make up everything!

submitted 30 days ago • 2 comments

First post here on Bluesky better be a good one… A slice of pie in Jamaica is $2.27. A slice of pie is $3.00 in the Bahama’s. These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

submitted 30 days ago • 3 comments