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mslisam.bsky.social
Movies. Music. Cats. Pistachios. Laughter. "As seen on Twitter" https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:dcv4ovbbznx6wknbpukm3tye/feed/aaacjgywm5ney
517 posts 767 followers 478 following
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Posts 47 Comments 3

She lived in my head rent free. Until the eviction. And I kept her security deposit. Due to the mess she left.

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments

One, remember to look up at the stars and not down at your feet. Two, never give up work. Work gives you meaning and purpose and life is empty without it. Three, if you are lucky enough to find love, remember it is there and don't throw it away. - Stephen Hawking

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

Popeyes has pretty good chicken but frankly it’s bullshit that they don’t have spinach

submitted 8 days ago • 15 comments

Au gratin is short for gold gratin

submitted 6 days ago • 2 comments

my two moods: cute sunshine princess or evil demon brat

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

Disco! In the Panic Room

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

can't work today. sprained my thumb squeezing that last bit of honey outta the bear

submitted 2 days ago • 6 comments

Why yes. I do also talk too much in real life.

submitted 2 days ago • 8 comments

Interviewer: are you an independent thinker? Me: *glances over at my mom as she nods her head* yes

submitted 190 days ago • 0 comments

You're beautiful when you're angry and thousands of miles away.

submitted 11 days ago • 1 comment

Having a zero-tolerance policy on bullshit can save you from so much disrespect and disappointment. Be bold with your boundaries, keep your standards high, and don't settle for less.

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

Saw two bags from different grocery stores rolling down the street together. If they can run away together, anyone can.

submitted 9 days ago • 9 comments

Oh ok, praying mantis eat the male after sex but I’m crazy for burning I love you in your yard for not responding to my text.

submitted 5 days ago • 9 comments

Just shot lotion in my eye after my shower. Thought of you.

submitted 4 days ago • 15 comments

Today I’m complimenting people on random body parts. Like hey, you have great ears or damn your elbows are hot.

submitted 3 days ago • 34 comments

the love of your life is not on bluesky, or a dating app, but a vapid third place, the password to get in is notanorgy and you do NOT know me

submitted 42 days ago • 0 comments

are you there god? it’s a-me, mario.

submitted 12 days ago • 2 comments

I’m also in the epstein files so mr. kotter gave me detention but I skipped with horshack if you know what I mean

submitted 4 days ago • 4 comments

I have two lions inside me except they’re dandelions and my god this salad sucks

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

my bio link is a loop of me going to bed by 9:30pm every fucking night.

submitted 620 days ago • 5 comments

Anybody who tells you your identity doesn't matter is a fucking piece of garbage and can go choke on a dick. The government can't tell you who you are.

submitted 143 days ago • 5 comments

Started a new hobby called “staring at the wall and thinking about everything I’ve ever said wrong since 2007”

submitted 3 days ago • 3 comments

My cat thinks you’re an asshole

submitted 3 days ago • 19 comments

*puts the <sigh> in asylum*

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

i cant believe that money is imaginary and has to be protected but my right to be gay is up for debate

submitted 69 days ago • 5 comments

I remain off-topic because I don't care what anybody is talking about.

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

something funny and relatable should go here but nah

submitted 125 days ago • 4 comments

Brad Pitt in Seven Schrödinger's cat What’s in the box?

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

imagine caring where someone was born

submitted 4 days ago • 17 comments

Recycling my posts because I care about the earth

submitted 7 days ago • 5 comments

youtube.com/shorts/ajb3k...

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

I know it’s Monday because everyone in the office looks like they’re dragging a wet mattress through emotional molasses with noodle arms and existential dread.

submitted 3 days ago • 19 comments

"Maybe reading the news will fix me." Reads news. "Oh no. Absolutely not."

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Love: no one here gets out intact.

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

I’m about ready for the series finale.

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

I don't know who needs to hear this but, idiot.

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

Great, another fucking day.

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

It's so much fun being alive everyday!

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

I'm livid, but like, in a nonchalant way.

submitted 18 days ago • 6 comments

Proceed

submitted 174 days ago • 161 comments

I can't help it if I'm living your best life

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

Late nights are power-ups for loneliness

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

All dressed up and agoraphobic

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

I’m the typo you learned to live with

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

I’m not playing hard to get, I’m dissociating

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

When I have sex with your mom, I call it deploying the national guard…

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

How can they seize a ship in international waters?…

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments