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murrayv.bsky.social
Writer. Comedian. Surfer.
44 posts 2,624 followers 82 following
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Posts 37 Comments 7

I wonder how JD Vance keeps his eyeliner from running after Trump jizzes all over his face.

submitted 18 hours ago • 1 comment

“Hey guys! I got one, I got one. Watch this. Ready? Hey! Why don’t you ever wear a suit?” (High fives all around)

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

I wish Zelenskyy would have stopped him and asked him what his favorite Bible verse was.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

I know he has an incredible body of work, but nobody ever talks about Gene Hackman in The Firm. Amazing performance. RIP.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

A copy of”The Art of the Deal”?

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

For SNL's 50th Anniversary. Here's the one thing I did for Saturday Night Live. There was an internet campaign to have Betty White host SNL. It gained a lot of momentum, so instead of doing the regular Host/Musical act on set teaser, they wanted something different. www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIY3...

submitted 16 days ago • 1 comment

The Felon is mad because nobody will call it the Gulf of Mexico.

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

Congratulations to my son for winning the Superbowl pool! I bankrolled him, so after I got my initial investment back plus 20% on top, he walked with a nice stack. Minecraft for everybody!

submitted 22 days ago • 0 comments

If your radio station plays Led Zeppelin‘s Heartbreaker and does not follow it up with Living Loving Maid, I will never listen to your radio station again. 

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

Bingo. Bango. Bongo… and Irving.

submitted 30 days ago • 0 comments

Steve Marriott of the band Humble Pie died on Jan 20, 1991. As of today, Steve Marriott has spent 12,045 days in the hole.

submitted 33 days ago • 1 comment

Not that I needed validation, but watching Christians turn on a Bishop for preaching mercy makes me glad I escaped the church and all of its hypocrisy.

submitted 36 days ago • 0 comments

I mean, if he's really that autistic, why hasn't Trump made fun of him yet?

submitted 38 days ago • 2 comments

Normally I don’t like to name drop, but I found an old picture of when I used to hangout with Marcel from Friends. Trust me, don’t lend this guy any money….

submitted 46 days ago • 0 comments

The best tunes of 2024!

submitted 58 days ago • 0 comments

My wife asked for a fairytale Christmas, so I ghosted her three times.

submitted 64 days ago • 0 comments

“Then I took her back to my place and gave her a hot frosty.”

submitted 66 days ago • 0 comments

I bring you gold, frankincense and…

submitted 69 days ago • 0 comments

Putting together my Christmas Ska band… Rankin Bass

submitted 71 days ago • 0 comments

Murray Xmas!

submitted 73 days ago • 0 comments

Kick your new year off right! For What It’s Worth LIVE! @jimmypardo.com @blainecapatch.bsky.social and Helen Hong. Get tix at @hollywoodimprov.bsky.social! Just $10 … finally something inflation proof!

submitted 77 days ago • 1 comment

One time I worked with a fire breather and he caught his face on fire. *I'm only posting this here because you'd be surprised by how little fire breathing comes up in conversation.

submitted 86 days ago • 0 comments

Droppin the kids off at school.

submitted 89 days ago • 0 comments

Black Friday ticket sale! Join @blainecapatch.bsky.social @jimmypardo.bsky.social and myself for just $10! Link in the comments.

submitted 95 days ago • 1 comment

Mr. Limon, Costa Rica 2024

submitted 105 days ago • 0 comments

Even with all the crap and division and the hate going on in this world right now, I still had hope for humanity. Then today I saw this MF’er put mayonnaise on his hot dog and realized we have no chance.

submitted 107 days ago • 0 comments

I don’t know much about boxing, but I think Mike Tyson is going to win. Things have been going pretty well for rapists lately.

submitted 108 days ago • 0 comments

Where are all these people getting 2024 bingo cards???

submitted 109 days ago • 1 comment

submitted 113 days ago • 0 comments

Hey guys! Put some fun in your ears as we discuss Lou Reed's albums of the 80s... art19.com/shows/rock-s...

submitted 117 days ago • 0 comments

Hey Christians, keep telling yourself that it's "satan's temptation" that's driving people from the church and not your hypocritical bullshit.

submitted 118 days ago • 0 comments

Women.

submitted 119 days ago • 0 comments

Just a reminder, only 3 more weeks until I set the clock in my car back an hour.

submitted 121 days ago • 0 comments

Tests For Fears were pretty awesome in Vegas this weekend. Catch them if you can.

submitted 121 days ago • 0 comments

Last time I was in Connecticut I downloaded Grinder and ended up fucking a sandwich.

submitted 123 days ago • 0 comments

I got a little flirty and asked my wife to send me a picture of her ass… she texted back a picture of me.

submitted 124 days ago • 0 comments

For What It's Worth... the only music and comedy gameshow that matters. Halloween edition! With @blainecapatch.bsky.social Kristine Kimmel and Gary Brightwell. Only watch if you like fun. #musiciansky

submitted 124 days ago • 0 comments