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mxdahliabelle.bsky.social
Stand-up Comedian / Naughty Auntie / Compulsive Thinker
237 posts 473 followers 161 following
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Today is TIDDY DAY!!!! πŸ₯³

Looking for a part time writing gig β€” baseball writing, legal commentary, analysis - to help pay some bills. If anyone knows of something I would really appreciate it!

I'm bored, and there's no one around to rub my ass. America truly has become a dystopia 😫

Y'all can be mad if you want to, but I'm getting a fresh rack of tiddy put in this Thursday, and that's about to be 100% of what I post

Just read "They Thought They Were Free." if you think that people will suddenly wake up and realize what is happening and how wrong they were, you're solely mistaken. People will adapt and stay under the spell of authoritarianism. Even when the horrors are exposed, they'll think it wasn't that bad.

Leave it to Elon Musk to raise a sociopathic narc

Freedom fries will no doubt be the national food of "Red, White, and Blueland"

Buddy said, "Red, White, and Blueland." I quit πŸ€¦πŸΏβ€β™€οΈ

Why did Elon Musk do an Oval Office press conference with a toddler and a baseball cap? 🀨 Wtf are even doing right now?

What the world needs now is a queer Super Bowl. The Super Hole: bunch of gay πŸ₯·s in jockstraps throwing a rubber dick.

If you add me to a group text, I just assume you never want me to read what you sent

Honestly, my partner referring to a friend taking #ozempic as "she's on that shit" has been the highlight of my #BlackHistoryMonth

I just blocked the White House and reported their account for misleading and false information

It's hilarious to me every time a conservative troll claims I'm rewarded for being trans. I'm an obscure and chronically broke comedian. Were I a conservative grifter, I'd have so much money I'd be unable to close my safe, and all I'd have to do is be wrong about everything.

Listen, please stop heckling me, YES I am watching Hannah Gadsby’s Gender Agenda, AGAIN! And YES I do love it every single time I see @mxdahliabelle.bsky.social because I just love the Portland Queer Community, I loved being apart of it, and I love seeing it represented, still.

"Imma come back as a top in my next life and fuck you so good" - my latest pickup line

YOOOOO!!!!! Did y'all know surgeons measure tiddies in cups of rice? 🍚 = 245cc of tiddy #transskeets #topsurgery #breastaugmentation

I've just signed an executive order declaring people with disabilities, immigrants, Black, Indigenous, transgender, and intersex people tax exempt.

I can hardly wait to pull Blaire White's hair in the concentration camp.... I mean "conversion camp"

I'd post more about MAGA fuckery, but I figure at this point IYKYK, right πŸ€¦πŸΏβ€β™€οΈ

This video was posted two months ago for anyone still asking what MAGA's end goal is (and it's likely worse than you think)

The same people who claimed a U.S. Senator from Hawaii was unqualified to be POTUS + spread a conspiracy theory that he was born in Kenya & therefore ineligible take no issue with a non-elected South African being the 2nd most powerful person in the nation.

It guts me to know there are parents advocating for their own children's erasure, oppression, and trauma. It breaks my heart as a trans person, but even more as a parent. If you hate your children that much, then you should lose custody.

🚨 Bare minimum, boycott every company that has canceled their DEI programs for the next two months

Don't buy where you can't work. Don't work where you can't afford to live.

I don't know enough about the plane and helicopter collision to say anything of value, so I'm not going to talk about it until more information has been released. Apparently, this demonstrates I have more common sense than the president πŸ€¦πŸΏβ€β™€οΈ

Only fascists obey fascist laws. Don't be a fascist.

A time was had πŸ₯Ή R.I.P Dj UNK πŸ•ŠοΈ

Last night, I bested Jeopardy champion Amy Shneider on a super queer parody, #Jeopargay πŸ₯³ I knew all these years of gay $#!+ would eventually pay off. I am the GAYEST!!!!!

This is your daily reminder that we all share a moral obligation to not comply with unjust laws or talk to cops πŸ”‘

People have no idea how much I want to be a slut. I just lack the drive to pursue my dreams. It's like when I was a kid and wanted to be an astronaut.

I'm still trying to keep it light on the politics and heavy on the ass over here πŸ‘

Gentlemen, what response are you hoping for after sliding into a woman's DMs to type "hey?" I swear, I'm not even mocking you (this time). I'm genuinely curious to know the expectation, just in case a real hottie hits me with a "hey."

I'm traveling alone and once again remembering, an hour after going to bed, that I need someone to touch my booty until I fall asleep 😭

Can you even imagine how offended he would've been by an actual MLK sermon? Especially with Bayard Rustin seated in the front row.

I love it when past me rolls future me a joint πŸ₯°πŸ€πŸΏπŸ₯°

At this point, Trump and his crew could literally fly Nazi flags and MAGA loyalists would offer an alternate explanation of their meaning

Are we all seriously ignoring when the POTUS gave a shout-out to "manifest destiny" in his inauguration speech?

Here's a picture of Kariuki cuddled up with a pile of his favorite stuffies ☺️😻