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napping.bsky.social
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:llhdag2velhktv5okvb7otyp/feed/aaaihlgafcphg Just regular
656 posts 2,665 followers 1,026 following
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Posts 44 Comments 6

Cupid really out here shooting arrows at the wrong people while I’m still dodging red flags.

submitted 9 days ago • 2 comments

Are we really in love or are we in love with the illusion of what we could be?

submitted 9 days ago • 1 comment

I’m like an enigma…wrapped in a riddle…shoved into a butthole

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Todays skeets are brought to you by overprotective parents and a cruel, cruel world.

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

There’s no stronger force than your fingers interlaced with mine.

submitted 10 days ago • 2 comments

Have you tried just not being like that?

submitted 52 days ago • 4 comments

What a grim business getting through the day can be.

submitted 288 days ago • 4 comments

Be the reason he enters the witness protection program.

submitted 8 days ago • 4 comments

You’ve been catfished, Charlie Brown

submitted 9 days ago • 1 comment

I use "post" to describe items on most microblogging platforms, but "subskeet" is an obvious exception.

submitted 9 days ago • 1 comment

Friendly reminder that if you’re constantly posting but not liking, reposting, or interacting at all — try that shit at a comedy club this ain’t that

submitted 8 days ago • 3 comments

i built my glass house just a stone's throw from here

submitted 8 days ago • 6 comments

The biggest cock block ever in human history was the car industry’s transition from a bench seat to the goddamned middle console.

submitted 9 days ago • 17 comments

The National Association of Psychiatrists states that as of 10 am it is safe to listen to Air Supply again

submitted 8 days ago • 4 comments

Hell hath no fury like the woman you took seriously when she told you not to get her anything.

submitted 9 days ago • 7 comments

Project 2025 would be a nice name for feminine hygiene products.

submitted 8 days ago • 3 comments

Woke to find my bookmark had fallen out so don't talk to ME about YOUR wild Friday nights!

submitted 15 days ago • 6 comments

"I am a satellite," I whisper to myself, being cold and distant. "You are a constellation. I can barely make you out tonight." Space is a lonely place.

submitted 56 days ago • 1 comment

Tragedy is always best experienced with the friends you make along the way

submitted 11 days ago • 3 comments

I am going to create a GIF of just the spinning loading wheel, so that everyone watching it sits there and assumes eventually something will load. It will help them experience for a few moments how my life feels every day right now.

submitted 8 days ago • 3 comments

The voices under the floorboards grow louder. Thankfully, I have my earbuds in, so I can't hear their tortured warnings. The world is on fire, but my sunglasses block out the bright lights. This is my fight song.

submitted 8 days ago • 1 comment

Anesthesia would be a beautiful name for a baby girl.

submitted 8 days ago • 7 comments

I want to install a speaker system on my lighthouse so when it guides ships to shore it can start playing a siren song at the last minute.

submitted 35 days ago • 7 comments

big bird: ever since i hatched, society has ostrichized me.

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

I have so many qualms.

submitted 8 days ago • 7 comments

I saved you all a spot in the hand basket. Come on, it's time to go.

submitted 8 days ago • 65 comments

The worst part was the video of her roasting marshmallows over the firey pile of my stuff.

submitted 8 days ago • 2 comments

*slips into a coma* Much better

submitted 8 days ago • 7 comments

Me: How are you? Neighbor: Can’t complain. You? Me: I can and do.

submitted 55 days ago • 5 comments

My husband was all romantic and whispered “I sleep with one eye open because of you.”

submitted 8 days ago • 4 comments

Too much wrath… Not enough grapes.

submitted 9 days ago • 6 comments

Trouble in paradise sounds like a fun vacation.

submitted 11 days ago • 8 comments

Oh yeah? Well I call it the automated ATM teller machine.

submitted 8 days ago • 19 comments

*Looks in mirror* I hope everyone I meet today is visually impaired.

submitted 19 days ago • 7 comments

Trauma from grade school valentine cards pretty much explains why I post the shit I do.

submitted 9 days ago • 3 comments

Live, laugh, lowered expectations...

submitted 229 days ago • 0 comments

Live, Love, Light the batsignal

submitted 34 days ago • 1 comment

Your mom just added me to her starter pack!!!

submitted 25 days ago • 4 comments

Opening a restaurant named ‘Peace and Quiet’ where kids meals cost $80

submitted 94 days ago • 575 comments

If by relationship material, you mean anxiety and self-doubt woven tightly together with sarcasm, then yes, I'm relationship material.

submitted 8 days ago • 2 comments

Broke and desperate, just the way HR likes me.

submitted 12 days ago • 1 comment

Well my friends it's come to this: Mad Max it is.

submitted 11 days ago • 3 comments

Lately a day of smooth sailing is a pipe dream at best I’d like one where I don’t have to put out the fires or clean up a mess I’d just like to take a deep breath and then catch a rest

submitted 9 days ago • 2 comments

My wife found out her ring is cubic zirconia and now she’s questioning the Lulu-lime leggings I’ve been buying her

submitted 8 days ago • 3 comments