nickmao.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

Ok, we need a name for our new toilet brush. English marketing team: 'The Dainty Doris' American marketing team: 'TurdAnnihilator 4000'

submitted 14 hours ago • 1 comment

Congratulations to BRIT winners Charli XCX (Bishop's Stortford College, £38,319 per year), AG Cook (King Alfred School, £27,747) and The Last Dinner Party (Bedales, £52,075) for showing that people from ordinary backgrounds can reach the top in pop music, that most egalitarian of art forms.

submitted 1 day ago • 48 comments

surely that's a red

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

In this family we do not fuck about with breakfast.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Shame they can't just Liz Truss the fucker.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

"I want to really really really want to zig a zig ah"

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

RFK Jr. Vows To Make Measles Deaths So Common They Won’t Be Upsetting Anymore

submitted 4 days ago • 484 comments

Think these commentators should just marry Liverpool Football Club.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

Hey Google show me videos of old people wearing VR headsets smashing into TVs

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

Phoned Sky yesterday to complain and they took it as a golden opportunity to try and flog me Sky Cinema. I pretended to be upset, saying I "felt bad because I can't afford movies for the kids". They thought this was an excellent chance to sell me some kids channels.

submitted 6 days ago • 1 comment

Presumably the goat they got the milk from had a real gone kid. 😕

submitted 7 days ago • 18 comments

Is there a team harder to watch than Newcastle United? Shit in the 2nd half, just awful. Lucky to hang on.

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

What a thread

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Was interviewed by a chap at the New York Times a couple of weeks ago about my other, more popular, account: www.nytimes.com/2025/02/21/u...

submitted 10 days ago • 1 comment

Someone told me earlier that it's 20 years since 2005. Fuck off.

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

Sweet potato hash browns, garlic mushrooms, avocado, poached egg, tomato salsa. My wife loves me. #foodwanker

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

I'd like to thank my brother for putting this sticker on my car when I wasn't looking. The first I knew was when some factory lads asked whose car it was.

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

It's my way maintenance or the highway maintenance.

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

Was gonna make a joke about a cybertruck driver's kid asking their dad to drop them off a block away from school so their friends don't see them in it but then I remembered they wouldn't be allowed custody

submitted 15 days ago • 41 comments

What's that, sorry? You'd like to see Woody Harrelson scoring a penalty at Old Trafford to win the match and beat England? www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XsC...

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

"I've been doing a course called How to Be Rude" "Any good?" "What the fucks it got to do with you?"

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

Here come the Valentines Day Marketing Emails! Best one so far this year is for flour. What's romantic about flour you may well ask. Well, in this case it's that you can use it to bake a pie in the shape of a heart. It's not going to come for tomorrow though is it, you daft sods.

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

I think my thumbs are getting fatter.

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

"Here is a thing to carve in pokerwork and hang over your typewriter. 'No one will ever complain because you have made something too easy to understand.' "And here is another thing to remember every time you sit down at the keyboard: a little sign that says 'Nobody has to read this crap.'"

submitted 19 days ago • 2 comments

The trick is to ween off crying so much. Start small. Cry in the shower, but not at work. Cry in your car, but not when the pen runs out of ink as they tell you your confirmation code. Once crying becomes a private thing, you can hide all kinds of emotions, like happiness, too!

submitted 21 days ago • 5 comments

Enjoying this camp 70s comedy my telly has offered up. Not sure the description is 100% accurate.

submitted 22 days ago • 0 comments

Let the wild rumpus begin!

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

Delivery driver is 3 stops away and I need the toilet. Let's do this.

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

Don't want to jinx it as contract not signed, but I've got a lovely audiobook narration coming up. A novel set in medieval Northumbria. Can't wait.

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

WAITER: telling us the specials WIFE: Mmmm sounds delicious. ME: not looking up from the menu You can't taste sound, Sharon.

submitted 23 days ago • 19 comments

Oops 😬

submitted 23 days ago • 1038 comments

What's your plans for the day? I'm pissing around all day, then making a curry, drinking beer and watching football.

submitted 23 days ago • 1 comment