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nightmarefixer.bsky.social
Manwitch (My skeets don't represent any companies, clubs, clans, coteries, cults, cabals, circles or cliques)
1,702 posts 221 followers 160 following
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Posts 37 Comments 13

5 mins after hitting the Post button: Wait, what did I say?

submitted 8 hours ago • 1 comment

Asking around for estimates to install an Eye of Sauron on the roof of my building.

submitted 9 hours ago • 1 comment

I'd be the angry guy climbing the roof with the sword cursing the dragon out under my breath for wrecking the village/my day.

submitted 10 hours ago • 1 comment

There's a group of vampires pretending to be Girl Scouts out there right now. They act like they have cookies to sell then attack while you're distracted thinking about Samoas or Thin Mints. An early warning sign is one (or more) Girl Scouts trying to sell you cookies after midnight.

submitted 22 hours ago • 0 comments

Eccentric weirdos are my favorite people.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

You know those logic games for kids where you're supposed to put a shape through a matching hole? It's a quantum physics version of that only you jam shapes through the wrong holes hard enough to obliterate the barrier entirely. You'll either fall into another timeline or explode. Or both.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

Good day! Once again I have 3 open slots atm ✨ Feel free contact me via dm or email! As always I would highly appreciated the RT ❤️

submitted 2 days ago • 7 comments

Creatures with more than two eyes really have an advantage. It takes more effort to blind them.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

a fake Far Side i drew a few years ago

submitted 1 day ago • 6 comments

First bootlegged movie I ever watched. (Sorry Edgar, Simon and the rest.)

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Full moons are for being hunted by the vindictive lycanthrope you besmirched in a food court

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

This scene comes to mind often youtu.be/WwvOsqAOLLQ?...

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

I've been so busy I forgot!

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

I don't want anything special after I die. Just roll my remains up in a big rug and sneak me out of the morgue of whichever federal building I ended up in.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Setting up an escape room where all of the tasks to get out are chores I've been putting off.

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

Taunting the first man by sending him a crate full of apples.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

If you manage to sneak up on me I'd rather be stabbed in the back than given a surprise massage. Don't touch my shoulders.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Okay, you're right, I wouldn't tell you if I WERE a spy, but I think we both know that the whole 'just remember the instructions on the first reading and then destroy the piece of paper' thing is pretty disqualifying for me, especially if you've seen me try to bake a frozen pie.

submitted 3 days ago • 5 comments

this is what the last dolphin is going to choke on eight years from now

submitted 3 days ago • 23 comments

I have a 4-day work week, but DO NOT tell my employer

submitted 3 days ago • 3 comments

Video games told me my enemies would have clearly marked weak spots but I'm not seeing a lot of glowing red protrusions out here.

submitted 3 days ago • 2 comments

reluctant but respected reskeet

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Tonight's Safeword is: Shpadoinkle

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

I promised HR I would be more normal this year but to only expect so much youtu.be/2-g_YK527fE?...

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Sometimes, when I'm cuddling with my cat, I catch myself whispering softly, "But I love you" and it always happens moments after the thought crosses my mind that he won't be in my life forever. Love is always an act of defiance against some type of inevitability.

submitted 4 days ago • 2 comments

Seems worse that it's lurking in the bushes.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

I'm thinking of hiring a witch half my age as a sidekick so I stay hip with the young people.

submitted 5 days ago • 2 comments

Yes. Next time.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

bsky moderation cooked my ass here

submitted 5 days ago • 25 comments

millennials 🙄

submitted 5 days ago • 9 comments

Checking in on people I care about without them knowing

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

I don't think I'd be any more horrible if I were a vampire. As horrible, sure. Not more.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

What a coincidence, we've started doing that in America too!

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

Don't mind me chasing after a demented refrigerator rolling down the street. Nobody help before it kills again.

submitted 6 days ago • 1 comment

Forgotten threads weaved into a tapestry for no one by a madman

submitted 6 days ago • 1 comment

I went through a phase where I told everyone "Your face is -" and I think it's when I was at my most likeable.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

shoplifting just to steal something

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments