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nordstrom.bsky.social
dog lover but not in a weird way
1,013 posts 113 followers 79 following
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Posts 28 Comments 22

let's transfer consciousness

submitted 2 hours ago • 0 comments

new linkedIn noti my boss just congratulated me for my "new job" at the "piss factory". ok

submitted 10 hours ago • 0 comments

submitted 10 hours ago • 0 comments

just completed my punch card. if you get punched ten times you get a free small ice cream cone

submitted 13 hours ago • 1 comment

Fold my path once, shame on you. Fold my path eight times? Shame is an illusory and fleeting experience

submitted 20 hours ago • 0 comments

wife just burped in bed sounded like alien vs predator

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

they made it so tennis is not even a sport anymore. you're no longer allowed to play it. nintendo forced to recall mario tennis

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

sinking into the depths of despair. whoa cool people have been throwing their coins down here

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

just took a dip in gods washing machine (large hadron collider) and feeling refreshed

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

siri, play sandstorm on repeat and slowly increase to max volume over the next two hours. i want another beer every time one runs out and after the fourth smack my ass so hard it leaves a digital handprint. cancel all appointments. send word to my enemies there will be a plague on all their houses

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

good morning my real name is rumplestiltskin

submitted 4 days ago • 2 comments

why have five or six friends when you could have just one

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

looking into the mirror pulling my cheeks and mustache like it's the mario 64 start screen

submitted 4 days ago • 1 comment

hamburgler help her

submitted 5 days ago • 1 comment

grave kisser on taskrabbit

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

as im advancing toward the cistern im receiving the teaching that the animal will not cease freaking out and throwing its turds until a great benediction is placed.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

trying to entice you by taking off my youtube shorts

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

i never lost a game of knife chess

submitted 6 days ago • 1 comment

yelling "Kobe" as I throw away my hopes and dreams

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

considering getting laser removal. I want to get completely eviscerated by lasers

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

I lose sleep every night wondering if the nirvana pool baby ever caught that dollar

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

something about me is I love shartcooterie

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

emeralds gleaming from within the great void

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

you guys rfk jr is putting all bluesky shit posters on a registry for public health

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

stand back I'm about to employ a new strategy

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

IT, IS TIME, FOLKS ‼️

submitted 10 days ago • 1 comment

not sure why people say 9/11 was an inside job. pretty sure it all happened outside

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

someone should make a movie about ants. or maybe just bugs in general

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments