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notjohnchenoweth.bsky.social
Silly little guy who's into improv, video games, pinball, sports, and shitposting.
776 posts 701 followers 1,422 following
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Posts 37 Comments 13

Dear HR, Monday: I'm me Tuesday: me be Wednesday: goddamn Thursday: I am Friday: I can sing and Saturday: hear me Sunday: know me

submitted 9 hours ago • 0 comments

Her: what are you thinking about Me: nothing My brain:

submitted 12 hours ago • 0 comments

The Yankees owe Don Mattingly an apology.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Since capitalism got its unholy tendrils around the Internet, the Internet has gotten objectively worse.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

I put it to you: who's more antagonistic and condescending? 4chan, or Stack Exchange? Both give me huge amounts of ick.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

📢 YES, it's okay to PUNCH NAZIS. #pixelart

submitted 4 days ago • 29 comments

Hey Siri, Elon Musk's home address

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Me after forgetting to batten down: oh no, my hatches

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Me when I see my girl walk into the room dressed like an acorn:

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

A friend asked if I ever get tired of talking about improv. My response: "Literally never once. Not since kissing girls or cooked meat have I tried something and thought, 'I want as much of this as possible forever'."

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

Is it an exaggeration to call Bob Dylan the greatest American poet? No. He was a phenomenal lyricist:

submitted 7 days ago • 172 comments

Air travel: mine is a silent rage.

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

open.spotify.com/track/6N0b6j... Peggy flipping an SWV song is fucking immaculate.

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

HOT DOGS

submitted 8 days ago • 20 comments

I almost got run over by a Cybertruck running a red light this morning. I would have loved to have gotten paid, but I'd also probably be in multiple pieces.

submitted 8 days ago • 1 comment

Farting on the airport shuttle is tantamount to a war crime.

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

I always watch the pre-flight instructions in full because I want the attendants to know I'm the best passenger

submitted 11 days ago • 1 comment

I need to know if Tr*mp left before or after halftime because I don't like the idea of him having seen Kendrick Lamar live before me.

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

You're doomscrolling. Hot singles in your area want to chat, and you're doomscrolling.

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

Boot-cut jeans: your renaissance begins today.

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

Drink some water right now please.

submitted 13 days ago • 3 comments

Not to pile on or anything, but this shit needs to stop:

submitted 14 days ago • 1 comment

Look at it this way: Elon Musk has a hole in his heart that he knows nothing will ever fill. What a sad little person.

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 16 days ago • 34 comments

Praying for my opps (a giant bird that swoops down and carries them far away)

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

A trend I do not like: music festival pre-sales before the lineup is announced. This feels like the video game model of pre-ordering before the details of the final product are publicly available. Gross.

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

As someone with very little political knowledge or connections, here's my one step plan to fixing this mess: **** them.

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

I think we could go a lot way towards saving our country if *everyone* agreed to call Musk "that guy with the fucked-up face" in a way that his constant online-ness could not avoid seeing. Again folks, it's "THAT GUY WITH THE FUCKED-UP FACE" Thank You and God Bless America. 🇺🇸

submitted 17 days ago • 33 comments

I just did this. 1 minute per call = 5 minutes. YOU HAVE 5 MINUTES. CALL AND CALL AND CALL AND LET THEM KNOW.

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

sitting in a baseball stadium with a beer and my phone off would fix me

submitted 17 days ago • 16 comments

Your daily reminder: It's not left vs. right. It's the wealthy vs. all of us.

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

I want the world for you bro.

submitted 18 days ago • 2 comments

Someone just drove by absolutely BLASTING "Sad Songs (Say so Much)" by Elton John. Thrive, comrade.

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

I think what's being done to trans people in this country is a FUCKING SCANDAL. It's absolutely an attempt at eradicating trans people from public life and ALL OF US must refuse this. Everyone. Stop being a loser mealy mouth person. This is bullshit. You should say so in all the places you inhabit.

submitted 18 days ago • 113 comments

Joke's on them, I would have paid double.

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

THEN WHAT DOES 'AD FREE' MEAN, DISNEY?!? DEFINITELY DO NOT sign up for a VPN and help yourself to Disney's catalog by other means.

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments