Profile avatar
ogfattcatt.bsky.social
King of the Lowbies | The Arby’s of Shitposters | Hot, for all you know He/Him
5,364 posts 464 followers 554 following
Regular Contributor
Active Commenter

When I die I want them to put a large red button on the side of my casket labeled “launch” and not let anyone know what it does or why it’s there.

The next big wave in streaming is going to be just doing away with shows and movies altogether. For 24.99 a month you’ll be able to browse through endless menus of made up tv & movie posters for non existent movies you dont want to watch. Zero entertainment, endless hollow-brained scrolling!

It sucks that you have to be catholic to be an exorcist. Fighting demons would be a rad job but I’m not gonna like, go to church about it.

In Christianity the only thing you really need to do to get into heaven is believe that Jesus is god and that he died and rose again. That’s it. Good deeds, following the teachings, meditating on scripture, etc is basically just extra credit. No wonder it attracts the D students of the world…

On a whim I researched the #1 song in the country when I graduated from high school and it was Hollaback Girl” by Gwen Stefani… Lord what a ridiculous time to be alive. Hard to believe how much worse it was eventually going to get.

In “how sheltered and out of touch with reality are people who went to religious schools?” News: Found out one of my classmates, who’s married name is “Short”, first initial is B, and maiden name initial is M has, completely without intention or awareness, made her email: ShortBM (#’s) @ [domain]

Every article Forbes posted on LinkedIn is a new opportunity to lose my job by dunking on stupid rich people

Canada beating the US team in the 4 nations hockey tournament feels cathartic. Hell of a game, man.

[takes a steady, drawn out belt of gin] So you think Jabba fucked Leia?

I’m loathed to admit this as an Italian but when I sweat a lot I smell exactly like chef boy-ar-dee

Shitting my pants on purpose so I can gauge more accurately when I’ve shit my pants on accident in the future.

If you’re making one of those starter packs this is your sign to put me in it. Block lists too. Just put me in everything. I’m easy like that. Plug n’ play baby.

Oh word? A new follower that hasn’t liked or interacted with any of my posts ever?? How exciting! I wonder what kind of thing I’m not gonna buy from this one!

There’s a quote from some author/historian that says something like, “The Germans had a word for people who didn’t agree with the Nazis on white supremacy or concentration camps but supported their efforts out of a desire for a stronger economy. The word is ‘Nazis’.”

Nothing like cutting a huge fart at the gym because you mistakenly just assume everyone else is wearing headphones too

I wish people got the poop zoomies like dogs and cats do. Just take a big shit and then hit the gym for 2 hours like it was nothing… I’m psyching myself up to go to the gym after work and I just took a big shit. In case that wasn’t clear.

I party like it’s my birthday every day in that I don’t party really at all on my birthday.

Working with a professional interior designer to spruce up our new outpatient office and no matter how many times I ask if we can make an entire room bouncy she still seems confused and upset by the question.

They screwed this all up.

The presidency should be a lifetime appointment, but it should also be legal to kill the president. Feel like that would fix a lot of issues.