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ohmygoddard.bsky.social
Degree in shiterature. Here for a weird time
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Department of Education launched a DEI snitch portal if you want to flood it with spam. enddei.ed.gov

There’s a hawk with a snake in its mouth who’s been sitting on my mailbox and staring at me through the window since dawn. Is this bad it seems bad

Henrietta Lacks and her entire fucking family would like a word

Hakeem Jeffries earnestly believing that this is a great time for him to go on a book tour is how you know not nearly enough of these guys are reading the vibes on bluesky

Does anyone actually want to live in Connecticut

Our generation’s Walt Whitman is probably working at a Wendy’s right now

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, eating her curds and whey:

Another way to put this: Musk and his twerps have exposed us to pandemics, broken science, stolen all your data, endangered the U.S. payments system, threatened air traffic control, and cut off HIV medication to 20m people in order to save ::checks notes:: 2/10th of a percent of the federal budget.

i feel that he is needed. today

There’s a GoFundMe for the family of Sam Nordquist—the Black trans man who was brutally murdered by five people in New York— to travel there to collect his body, and for funeral expenses. gofund.me/3dacca50

What a magical future

they can pry my lexapro from my cold dead hands

www.npr.org/2024/12/16/n...

go birds baby

Roof priest, I hope you’re ready.

Just sealed some idiot within my crystal

poetry is good, you were only conditioned to hate it

my friend just texted me this lmaoooo

i guess it's fine being part of the last American generation that can read. maybe when i'm a wizened old man a couple of curious youths will ask me to interpret some decaying old texts they found

many goldfish do not survive the flavor blasting process

RFK’s racist blathering harkens back to the yellow fever epidemic in Philadelphia where Black people—told we were immune—were asked to care for the perishing and neglected sick. 10% of free Black Philadelphians died.

go birds

My daughter lost her first tooth and put it under her pillow. I replaced it with an even bigger tooth. She wants to play tooth games? Let's dance.

Today I reorganized my candles, and that was more draining than you could ever know.

We are all lucky dogs.

You wouldn’t last 5000 years in my peat bog

if I saw this outside without context I’d be like you know what sure

this is pretty perfect

'Last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again. It seemed to me I stood by the iron gate leading to the drive, and for a while I could not enter, for my eyes were too googly.'

The great Clarence Clemons would have turned 83 today. In his eulogy, Springsteen wrote: “Together, we told an older, richer story about the possibilities of friendship that transcended those I’d written in my songs .. he made me feel, and think, and love, and dream big.” “Badlands” (1978) #RIP

I have scientifically determined that Warren Zevon’s Excitable Boy has the best record liner of all time

your station in heaven is determined by how good your ribcage sounds when played like a xylophone

"up to"

Someday I would like to own this lizard www.etsy.com/listing/1748...

frogs were the original cryptocurrency

the four genders

i guess the aliens learned everything they could from studying jersey

KINDLY FARMER: Come on inside, Dick. Martha has a hot plate for you. DON DRAPER: (shoveling a pile of manure) Thanks, Hank. You've taught me something important about the human condition. [later] BUCKTOOTHED RUBE ON TV: Dove soap can even wash the shit off my stupid country ass FARMER: what the hell

Willem Defoe, placing flowers on Ellen's corpse and picking up the cat: "My work here is done"

go nesferatu the polls

this is funny as-is but imo way funnier when you see his lawyer

My main resolution for 2025 is to slowly disappear into a fog or mist