ostogvann.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

As a millennial, I'd actually be totally okay if Banjo turned to the camera and told us fascism is bad in bear speak.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

I watched the first Jurassic Park with my 2 year old daughter. She was stoked seeing dinosaurs, lol. Trex was her jam. I'm honestly surprised at how she's processing everything for a toddler. She knows those are her sisters, and they're sick. It took a bit to explain the concept, but she gets it.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Dude, I held my tiny baby girls in my hands today. They're closing in on 4lbs. Really munching on quality room service in NICU those two. Like our first, though, they haven't cried yet. I don't know why my kids are always premature and don't cry. It's fucking strange and not a coincidence.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Gonna start calling my vag a minge. Gotta start being fancy and shit.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

I also think I'm gonna keep Bailey and Charlie private, at least on here. Private Instagram, maybe. I just don't know anyone here too well. People on Twitter got to follow Riley's first few months because of privacy features. Here, it's all public.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

I've slept for like 6 hours on the couch with family guy blasting on the TV. It's like I'm 22 again, but this time with tiny children. Best head back to the hospital for another 12 hour shift in NICU. Have to go to work tomorrow for sure. Goddamn I'm exhausted still.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Passed out on the toilet for 45 minutes. Decided to immediately walk after numbing my entire ass. It didn't work out. Tired brain think not good choice.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Dude, I haven't taken my bra off in 3 days. Got home and just let the girls hang out while I'm alone. Our daughter is at her aunts, and wife told me to get my ass home to rest. Gonna take a long warm bath tonight. Like 3 hours minimum. Just make a human soup tonight. My ass literally needs it.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

First of all, why do my genetics produce tiny babies? All my kids were born premature and under 3lbs. I was a normal 9 month birth... why the premature shit? Unless it's the father? We got the same donor twice... so many variables. Maybe a dive into family history to see why we like baking fast.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

I promise that I will have the biggest ass in Norway in 2 years. These jeans will be packing 200% dad hams in the back. The only dad in Norway with a bubble butt. I'm really tired lol.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

I've been up almost 48 hours. Running on coffee, pills, and 70 clif bars. I'm tired, stressed, and gotta take a wild poop... but I gotta be around my newborns. It's essential right now they have contact with us while in NICU and their little incubators.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

Straight dirty talk is like, "I've never taken it in the butt before hehe 😈." Lesbian dirty talk is "when do I smash that gash? Plunge that clunge?"

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

Wife was happy to see her daughters. Bailey and Charlie are doing good. Despite being premature, they are completely healthy. Breathing, eating, etc. They're just really tiny and fragile. NICU is very stressful.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

I've slept like 20 minutes the last day. Gotta check on all my babies now. I've got so many kids all of a sudden.

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

At 1:09 p.m., Bailey Quinn Masterson, 3lbs 2oz, was born. I was splitting time checking on Charlie and my wife all day. Just picked up our daughter from daycare to go visit her mom and sisters. I still can't believe it, though... I got 3 kids now.

submitted 8 days ago • 3 comments

Twin number 2 hit some complications. She's upside down, so you know...

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

First twin was born at 7:22 am. We welcomed Charlie Aurora Masterson, 3lbs 1 Oz. We didn't get to see her. Back to NICU. As parents, we get to experience this traumatic shit of watching our children struggle to live again... yay.

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

1 child is nearly out. Some very minor complications, but so far, so good. We're about 3cm into birth number 2. Just 7 off! So close to meeting the first twin!

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

Alright, fuck... twins are arriving early... currently in emergency. Wife is going into early labor.

submitted 8 days ago • 1 comment

I miss apolitical games like Metal Gear Solid and right-wing games like bioshock.

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

The Sopranos reboot, but it's like Ratatouille. A rat with mob aspirations.

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

What in the fresh hell occupies the area between a toddlers throat and butt? What dark magic is used on the foods to commit such war crimes in diapers? 13 more days we're gonna have 2 new diapers to change in addition to our daughter's. I honestly can't wait.

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

Our daughter still eats pavement on her tricycle. I don't know how it's possible, but she finds ways to tip over. Riley, listen, we can add more wheels...

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

Dude, I barely go on my phone or even text friends anymore. Go from work to home and hang out with my family. I've been teaching my baby girl to bike, so I've got nothing to offer on social media. Full on grinchmaxing.

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

Gonna give cooking meth a try. It seems easy!

submitted 11 days ago • 1 comment

I wish you and your hand a wonderful valentines day

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

Love that there are guys that still freak out over women with short hair. "She'd look better with longer hair!" Bitch, leave me and my 20 year old streak side shave choice alone.

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

The billionaires need that money for the tax cuts 😤

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

Hope I end up doing something productive this evening besides getting high and watching sopranos clips. Ton! Yous sayings this guys gottas get whacked gabagool.

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

Pizza pockets vs pizza pops, you decide!

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

Dude, our daughter has a little boyfriend at daycare already. They just hang out and are inseparable little troublemakers/shits. My baby girl is growing up so damn fast. She's gotta slow down...

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

Even Flow by Pearl Jam coming on the radio during your period sure is a choice. A little too on the nose and awkward.

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

You can goof around us, but not on us.

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

My pronouns are gay/him. Wait I think I did that wrong

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

Couple more weeks until I get my hysterectomy, and then our twin girls are born in March. Busy times are coming up, but I'm looking forward to another year of dirty diapers, sleepless nights, and countless late night feedings. I love being a dad and love my daughter's so much. Can't wait, dude.

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

SIGNALIS MENTIONED‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️🇩🇪🇩🇪🇩🇪🇩🇪🇩🇪🇩🇪🇩🇪🇩🇪🇩🇪🇩🇪🇩🇪🇩🇪🇩🇪🇩🇪

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

Twins are almost born, so it's nearly time to disappear from the internet once more. Straight up dadding out. 24/7 being a family guy. Freaking sweet nehehehe.

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

Dude, it's so cute hearing our daughter speak Norwegian. "Bjørn! Bjørnen! Bjørnenenena!" Her socializing and little lessons are helping her pick up the language. I'm proud of her.

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

This one's for cadia! proceeds to crumble under pressure

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

Biblically accurate lesbians

submitted 21 days ago • 4 comments

Being leftist means watching the weirdest shit happen in real time and not being able to do anything. You're just helpless to stop anything, but you keep trying despite the vicious cycle of failure. Congratulations comrade.

submitted 22 days ago • 0 comments

It's wild how much illegal shit you can get away with lmao. A new line is being drawn every day. As long as you got the money, may as well, right?

submitted 22 days ago • 0 comments

Is simba and Nala related? They look do alike...

submitted 22 days ago • 0 comments

Imagine having sex anytime the last 2 weeks. My constant secretions and erect nipples remain untouched! Forsooth! I'm legitimately going nuts. I gotta get banged, and by any means necessary... (one way or another starts playing in the background to increasingly insane sex acts)

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

The idea of pet cemetery is cool. Like Imagine dying the most badass way possible for an awesome stunt, get buried, revive, then repeat! No consequences, just lucrative street cred.