p-a-f.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

"Careful it's hot! It's hot!" But you don't move out of the doorway in time and I let go to spill the entire dish no one asked me to bring, a 60 qt stock pot full of boiling water and a completely unseasoned butcher shop pig's head that spins down the foyer making eye contact with every single guest

submitted 98 days ago • 15 comments

Do y'all like my new shirt?

submitted 10 days ago • 6 comments

all forests are the exactly the same. a forest has 1,000 trees. sometimes it has a river and a river is worth 46 trees which means a forest with one river has 954 trees. its not that hard to understand

submitted 15 days ago • 4 comments

This is true. A pal of mine who is a policeman went to a Scottish island recently to investigate a missing person and when the locals found out he was a Christian they stuck him in a giant human-shaped willow branch construction and burned him alive.

submitted 17 days ago • 168 comments

If they panned out you would be able to see the ball pit

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

I wish I could text my cat (we’re in the same room but she doesn’t want to be pet)

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

KEEP HONKING I'M 𝓔𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓬𝓱𝓲𝓵𝓲 𝓯𝓻𝓸𝓶 𝓪 𝔃𝓲𝓹𝓵𝓸𝓬 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝓶𝔂 𝓫𝓪𝓻𝓮 𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓭𝓼

submitted 165 days ago • 3 comments

HE THRUSTS HIS DICK AGAINST THE SINK AND STILL INSISTS HE SEES THE GRINK

submitted 19 days ago • 39 comments

submitted 42 days ago • 143 comments

i wish italian people were real

submitted 25 days ago • 27 comments

gonna start a rumor that the slang term 'juice' (a la "has the juice") is actually just short for "jouissance"

submitted 26 days ago • 7 comments

Instead of cremation, I'd like to be the main ingredient for a one-off competitive cooking show on Netflix. I feel like this isn't that far outside the realm of possibility.

submitted 27 days ago • 17 comments

submitted 32 days ago • 62 comments

in like 2015 i made this edit of James Twinpeaks because i like to disrespect him. i just saw it on tumblr in a new post. stupidly happy it's still going around

submitted 33 days ago • 33 comments

look you're just wrong. cilantro is in no way "just homosexual parsley." that doesn't even begin to make sense.

submitted 151 days ago • 4 comments

actually atlas shrugged sounds pretty great right now (all the rich people fucking off and leaving us alone)

submitted 39 days ago • 1 comment

submitted 39 days ago • 0 comments

Got a tarot reading and somehow all the cards were The Tower except the last one which was something called The Really Bad Tower, and I just don't know what to make of that.

submitted 41 days ago • 10 comments

Geb and Nut #art

submitted 41 days ago • 13 comments

why do they call it muffin when you muff in the cold fingers out hot eat the muff aaaand post

submitted 47 days ago • 0 comments

I’m 100% on board for the new Silicon Valley utopia, I won’t be happy until my toaster can call the police on me

submitted 47 days ago • 77 comments

My cat licked a meteorite and has developed Abilities

submitted 49 days ago • 11 comments

snailgirl tops be like "welcome to my jar. sorry it's a little messy in here! feel free to move a twig or two to make yourself at home. you can sit on the moss or the rock :)"

submitted 131 days ago • 6 comments

Had a dream where a pastor got to come back to life for having perfect attendance at church but wasn’t all that virtuous so the process was going to take a long time. He was just sort of hanging in the air, half-constructed and glistening, with a pile of donated materials at his feet.

submitted 50 days ago • 0 comments

The best lack all conviction, while the worst Are full of passionate intensity. Will you commit to a $50 monthly recurring donation to help the best hold the centre?

submitted 55 days ago • 5 comments

A good way to meet new people is to perch on top of a vending machine like a gargoyle and demand they answer your riddles

submitted 56 days ago • 9 comments

submitted 59 days ago • 12 comments

"a good NBA halftime show would be me playing Caves of Qud"- me opening Caves of Qud on my home computer

submitted 60 days ago • 4 comments

HER: You better not be a cunty klipspringer when I get there ME:

submitted 61 days ago • 10 comments

The real problem with Hasbro re-defining "indie RPG" to mean "any RPG that isn't D&D" is now when you ask folks what their favourite indie RPG is, that 12-page zine about robot catgirls having sex with each other is competing for oxygen with Vampire: The Masquerade, and that's bad for the ecosystem.

submitted 63 days ago • 36 comments

Found an old nondescript ring in the lot of the park where I originally found the new Ophiocordyceps zombie fungus species; cleaned it up, removed the "gem" from it, and replaced it with a zombie ant encased in resin. Obvious upgrade.

submitted 65 days ago • 6 comments

submitted 65 days ago • 5 comments

shirt that says "i hit it raw at mugger's haven and all i got was this shirt" on the front, and "... i didn't even cum!" on the back #columbo

submitted 65 days ago • 0 comments

lesbianism is holy

submitted 96 days ago • 0 comments