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patricklappin.bsky.social
Writer, former retweeter, internet enthusiast, Aston Villa fan (doesn't want to talk about it). Thank you, and sorry.
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And all of this, too. 👇

Absolutely sickens me that vinegar is man-made and not naturally occurring. Spent my life assuming that there were natural springs of it that we were mining but instead it turns out some freak has been concocting it this whole time.

I need you lads to understand that Europe has an average birth rate of about 1.4 No charismatic politician bothered to tell you how fucked that makes us. But as we get older, we need more care, more GP appointments… Without immigration we will have no pensions very quick.

I didn't want to talk about Kneecap this week, but here we are. On what we choose to be horrified by, and what those choices say about us. www.irishexaminer.com/lifestyle-co...

Labour. I dunno, but if you’re too fash for decent people and can’t convince the fash that you’re fash enough for them, maybe you’re not gonna win many elections. Maybe just actually stand for something and stop trying to chase everyone’s vote because you’re clearly really shit at that.

Labour's base-punching strategy reminds of the Seinfeld episode where George is so obsessed with making Jerry's girlfriend like him (she clearly hates him) that he neglects his own girlfriend (who does like him) and she leaves him

“Labour…pointed out that the Tony Blair Institute works for the government of Saudi Arabia”

I am genuinely sad for these silly people that seem so obsessed with what’s happening in the toilet next to them. I’m not an especially smart person but one thing I know about people who REALLY know how to live their life is that they haven’t the time to waste trying to tell you how to live yours.

The political economy of England's media rewards publishing wild but confident claims about the EU. It leads to a state of affairs where the UK media is engaged in a kind of permanent strategic disinformation operation against the inhabitants of the UK.

I usually have no skin in the game because I am not a politician who pretends to care about football. But my little nephews do and their late mom did too. So today - Up the Villa!

Sometimes when I'm bored I think about how much the guitarist in Hard-Fi didn't want to be in Hard-Fi.

Wish this pose wasn't just used for weight-loss articles. You never see 'Dad Of Two Shot' then this

Happy Easter

If Jesus had focused more on kitchen table issues and less on unpopular outcasts like lepers and prostitutes, he might have won more support from white working-class Judeans.

I so badly want to sing “There’s microplastics found in every single human testicle” to the tune of I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General

getting a bit tiring to think "ah yay, the worst people you know are having a great day" several times a week, every single week

Crazy idea for Labour: why not just enact policies you actually believe in, rather than attempt 4D political chess.

The specific shame of somebody trying the door when you're in a bathroom. I'm in here. I'm in here and I'm sorry that I am. Would that I could flush myself and my miserable little life away.

Just seen a headline saying that disability benefits provide more to the economy than they cost and I just wish decisions could be made not because they appease some spurious spreadsheet but simply because *it is the right thing to do*.

Pundits are - in vain - looking to economics and politics when trying to explain Trump's behavior. But, in reality, the central place to look if we want to understand Trump and his policies is this: The psychology of dominance. đź§µ(1/5)

At this rate MAGA will only be able to afford to rent the libs.

This is really unfair to everyone who just voted for him for the racism.

The primal/carnivore diet bros have found their new god

This country's demented - literally wandering about with our arse hanging oot our troosers and holes in our stocking soles but here's yer King playing a carrot flute with his big sausage digits.

Not making time to watch the actual programme everyone’s talking about but seemingly having time to absorb a twitter conspiracy about it is the most Kemi Badenoch response I ever heard

Bluesky feels like when you go to the pub but aren’t drinking

QUALITY THREAD, especially the “code red” halfway down.

Again I ask, what is the substantive difference between a right wing reactionary government and a centrist government obsessed with mollycoddling right wing reactionary opinion?

I'd favour selling the Falklands @aidthompsin.bsky.social

These people are too Corbyn-brained to realise Labour lost much of the red wall over Brexit. And, frankly, too simple to understand electoral nihilism from people whose lives are bad and getting worse.

And here's that interview www.humanism.scot/2025/03/20/h...

If Putin is on any sort of disability benefits he's in trouble

The paperback of my very cool and funny and dark and touching novel LEADING MAN is out 17 April and I can’t describe how much a preorder or two would mean to me! uk.bookshop.org/a/1243/97807...

People have been born, lived long lives and died in the gap between Newcastle winning trophies. Including Jamal Khashoggi, who was murdered on the orders of its current owner. Football, it’s a funny old game.

I'm *one subscriber* off 500! Tip the scales for me? jimallthetime.substack.com/8a75187b

I am so bored of your fucking cat.

Thinking about how Enron’s solvency was based entirely around its stock price and how its stock declining led to the triggering of many hitherto unthinkable consequences tied to the myriad Byzantine financial structures the company was involved in, for no reason

Michael Young coined the phrase "meritocracy" as satire, and then he fathered Toby Young in case people didn't get the joke.

Please, I fucking beg you, stop saying Trumpcession, you sound like a fucking maniac.

the biggest strength of the global far right is the utter timidity and fecklessness of the small-l liberal establishment in almost every country

new saddest six word story just dropped

I insist that you tell your friends about me

Me: “You can find me on Pinteresque” Them: “you mean Pinterest?” Me: … Them: … Me: … Them: … Me: …no

I will never forget the photo of Zelenskyy’s face after he saw Russia’s war crimes in Bucha in 2022. He seemed to age years in an afternoon. Watching him constantly cross the world asking for aid that should have been thrown at him is one of the deepest shames of our age.