paula-sues-anne.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

So, you're marrying someone who recently cheated on you? See, now I was always told that if you didn't have a brain in your head that you would die, but look at you defying science.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Have you ever been letting a limousine out into traffic in front of you in case your future husband is in it, and then some random person in a mini van tries to also cut in? Just me, then? (Nice try, Chrysler Pacifica.)

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

People complain that Thanos killed half the people on the planet, but I would have gone for like 75%.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Closing a God damn door? Never heard of it.

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

Post Malone could fix me.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

I just figured out why I keep dating men who are garbage. As a kid, it was my chore to take all the trash out. The part I have been forgetting is that I was supposed to put it in the burn barrel and set it on fire.

submitted 4 days ago • 1 comment

Absolutely thankful for spot on discernment.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Me: How'd you like Happy Feet? My then 7 year old: Papa said it has agenda. Me: Tell Papa that he's just mad because the company he works for keeps causing oil spills that kill penguins.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

I got my Easter nails today. You know what? That came out wrong. I got my nails manicured for Easter today. Sounds like I'm going to crucify somebody, the way I said it.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

I am sitting on my couch in my nightgown a block from the beach. It's taking everything in me to not walk over to the beach and just sit down on the sand in my nightgown.

submitted 4 days ago • 1 comment

Whatever I did to yank your chain, please consider it unyanked. I did not ask you for your feedback.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

@joshmankiewicz.bsky.social I'm watching an episode of Dateline and they describe the husband as being 31 years old, and that man is 57 if he is a day. Can you please explain? Lol

submitted 4 days ago • 1 comment

Please sign my petition asking God to bring back smiting. I have a whole list for him.

submitted 4 days ago • 1 comment

To the Amazon driver who made a u-turn in a no u-turn zone and then backed up into fucking traffic without looking and nearly hit me: Do you have insurance that will cover removal of every package in the back of that truck from where I shove them up your ass?

submitted 9 days ago • 1 comment

I grew up country. We put leftover food out for raccoons, possums, foxes & deer to eat. Just walked outside with leftovers & whistled. Seagulls came flying in to eat them. You can take the girl out of the country & put her a block from the beach, but you can't take the country out of the girl.

submitted 9 days ago • 1 comment

Welcome to the internet. Someone will be along shortly to tell you to shut the f*ck up.

submitted 11 days ago • 2 comments

If you want to know what it was like when primitive humans learned to use tools watch me cut steak.

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

If you see me trying to cut a steak, don't make eye contact with me. In fact, don't look at me at all. While you're at it, leave the room. Also, get out of the entire restaurant. I do not need to be perceived or observed while I am attempting to cut steak.

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

The Weather Girls made me think it was going to be raining men a lot more frequently than has actually happened in my life.

submitted 11 days ago • 0 comments

I'm heading to the Elks Lodge to meet people for dinner, like I live in The Flintstones.

submitted 11 days ago • 3 comments

Dear Businesses: I love it when I ask for a packet of ketchup and your employees get a pained expression on their face like I asked for a kidney. It makes it painfully obvious that you are micromanaging details and makes me not want to come back.

submitted 12 days ago • 1 comment

Val Kilmer is gone. I am not okay.

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

Fly high, Ice Man, fly high.

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

Playing my 3 bingo cards and reaching over and quietly playing the cards of the lady beside me when she isn't listening to the bingo caller.

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

extremely Arnold Schwarzenegger voice Lobster la vista, baby.

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

One of my favorite things is when someone has commented something horrible and/or stupid on the internet AND hundreds of people have ALREADY told them that what they said was horrible and stupid. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK, TEAM.

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

Bland, watery salsa should be illegal.

submitted 15 days ago • 1 comment