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pendejo-cave.bsky.social
5’5 with brown eyes, smile like the sunrise
36 posts 10 followers 12 following
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Posts 34 Comments 2

It should be illegal to break the law. So sick of this.

submitted 80 days ago • 0 comments

Knowledge is knowing Frankenstein isn’t the monster. Wisdom is knowing that The Rizzler isn’t related to the Costco guys and is just some kid they know.

submitted 81 days ago • 0 comments

Just affirmed my wife’s gender by making sure she does more work around the house than me while also making less money and having a harder job

submitted 83 days ago • 0 comments

The percs of being a wallflower.

submitted 84 days ago • 0 comments

Israel just took the Hawthorne Heights

submitted 84 days ago • 0 comments

I’m back on my bullshit doing sacred geometry and staring at black light posters again.

submitted 84 days ago • 1 comment

“You win the internet today, good sir! Take my upvote, and my axe!” I say before I detonate the 80 lbs of C4 I have strapped to my body in the middle of the Reddit meetup.

submitted 86 days ago • 0 comments

Armie Hammer should have been in Glad He Ate Her Too

submitted 88 days ago • 0 comments

“I yield my time.” Confused waiter: “so you’ll have the chicken and Brussels sprouts?” Me, more indignantly, “I said I yield my time.”

submitted 89 days ago • 0 comments

“What is math, but poetry with numbers?” - guy with a pony tail and awful teeth.

submitted 90 days ago • 0 comments

BREAKING: Syrians depose Assad after he loses all of nation’s money in Hawk Tuah coin.

submitted 91 days ago • 0 comments

People who use double-ended dildos are just trying to make ends meet.

submitted 92 days ago • 0 comments

What if we made fentanyl legal but only for illegal immigrants

submitted 93 days ago • 1 comment

I wish my dad had Spotify wrapped his dick and never conceived me

submitted 93 days ago • 1 comment

Hunter Biden right now: youtu.be/PXzuDXZwZtI?...

submitted 96 days ago • 0 comments

First we have Black Friday. Then we had Cyber Monday. …I guess that makes today “Time to Check Your Bank Account” Tuesday 🤪🥴😏😎

submitted 96 days ago • 1 comment

I wish Biden would have pardoned my French.

submitted 96 days ago • 0 comments

I saw mommy daggering Jamaican Santa Claus.

submitted 98 days ago • 0 comments

Jamaican Santa making his bomboclat or nice list.

submitted 98 days ago • 0 comments

Please don’t call me “white” anymore, you may now refer to me as cauxasion.

submitted 98 days ago • 0 comments

*me: getting into the wrong four door, mid-sized, Ford SUV that I called for my Uber* Driver: “This is not the Flex you think it is”

submitted 99 days ago • 0 comments

“I have no mouth, and I must scream. Who am I?”

submitted 100 days ago • 0 comments

Thankful for dank atheist memes to show my parents and cousins today

submitted 101 days ago • 0 comments

Why did they call it Moana 2 and not “Mo’ Moana”?

submitted 101 days ago • 0 comments

Decided to cut out the middle man and have sex with my wife myself.

submitted 102 days ago • 1 comment

The Holocaust wouldn’t have happened if Hitler sat his white ass down and LISTENED.

submitted 102 days ago • 0 comments

Kinda weird to think that Australian people have to constantly remind themselves to do that accent when they talk.

submitted 104 days ago • 0 comments

Being the only conservative at my hyper-liberal family’s Thanksgiving this year will be a trial only god can prepare me for.

submitted 105 days ago • 0 comments

I think the Boeing whistleblower should get a job as a referee. Those are some of the biggest whistleblowers and I think he’d fit right in because he’s so good at whistleblowing.

submitted 105 days ago • 0 comments

They wouldn’t be able to cremate my body because I bench 315.

submitted 107 days ago • 0 comments

“Hey Napolean! What part of a boner are you?!” - a common 1800’s taunt.

submitted 107 days ago • 0 comments

“I was today years old. I still am, but I also was.” - Mitch Herbert if he was an obnoxious millennial.

submitted 107 days ago • 0 comments

I wish Israel would learn about DEI

submitted 112 days ago • 0 comments

I heard they did a Haka in the New Zealand parliament. I hope they didn’t forget to tuah, too.

submitted 112 days ago • 1 comment