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peteyjones.bsky.social
Please refrain from making jokes, this is my work account.
30 posts 11 followers 37 following
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Posts 12 Comments 18

I have a theory that Ricky Gervais has never lost any weight and is just as chubby as he's always been. He just wears tighter clothes that keep it all tucked in. Like putting a rubber band around a sponge.

submitted 15 hours ago • 0 comments

Everyone concerned about our low birth rates should be loving these protests. Everybody's all worked up and horny. There's a 100% chance that an above average amount of people are getting pregnant tonight.

submitted 22 hours ago • 0 comments

I would like to address the viral rumors about me being the doctor that botched Elon Musk's penis surgery. Due to an NDA that I may or may not have signed, I cannot discuss any details about anybody who might have a very weird looking penis that already looked like that when I found it. Thank you.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Even if AGI were possible, it's all going to be trained on social media so it'll basically be dumb as fuck by default because 90% of social media is just dipshit chuds

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Hell yeah, fourth recession in my lifetime and I'm not even 35 yet. The boomers and Gen X are so good at economics

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Just finished watching the movie Geostorm with Gerard Butler and it was really fucking terrible. 10/10, would recommend.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Pretty funny that this chick has more legit power and influence in the Trump administration than JD Vance, who is supposedly the future of the Republican Party

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Hollywood needs to stop with the reboots. I get the urge to keep the Lord of the Rings money train rolling, but Stallone is completely miscast as Gandalf smh

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Thinking about how Joe Rogan's opinion on these tariffs will be international news within the next couple days

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

Days like today always make me wish I was more of a numbers guy #tariffs

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Rich nerds whose entire schtick is "I'm actually a genius" should learn a simple universal truth that applies to all human beings: The more you talk, the dumber you sound. Hurts the brand.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Elon's go-to move anytime someone gets in his way is quickly becoming "I'm pretty sure all of humanity is doomed unless you do the thing I want"

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments