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phantasm1979.bsky.social
uhh
3,377 posts 627 followers 391 following
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Posts 44 Comments 5

I had social skills that one time back in the 90s

submitted 2 days ago • 19 comments

Time for my next Viral recipe to try! Black Bean Brownies! youtu.be/vWTo3CCX1nU #NomSession

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

might we loose the hounds on him, Papa? Oh please, can’t we loose the hounds on him?

submitted 8 hours ago • 0 comments

eating a banana while walking in a parking lot

submitted 9 hours ago • 0 comments

please complete the ritual so i can materialize in human form. it’s getting cramped in here

submitted 12 hours ago • 0 comments

Yoshi’s Island happened to me in real life

submitted 12 hours ago • 1 comment

taping batteries to my head before i go to the gas station for no reason

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

I hate being saved by the unfriendly neighborhood spider-man. He keeps calling me a bitch.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

licking a customer and saying sorry i thought you were a popsicle and walking away

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

i’ve just appeared over an unpopulated area

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

a creature formed out of black spaghetti-like strands attempted to wave my car down this morning sorry spaghetti guy i'm already late for work

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments

i need a job that involves riding a horse & shooting flame arrows at people

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

what's

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

last night was an industrial safety video focused on the danger of operating heavy machinery while intoxicated

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

telling an interviewer that the 7 year gap on my resume is from looking at stuff

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

is anyone else an incredibly boring loser who hasn’t had any friends since like 2017

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

I’m a real monster that’s coming to get you

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

warlock men bring warlock times

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

if the skinamarink house was on my street it would have squatters

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

They're saying the pope is sick. The guy from christianity

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

*extremely unemployed voice* get a job

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

I haven’t smoked a cigarette in nearly a year now and it’s been surprisingly easy. All you have to do is break them down and smoke them out of a pipe

submitted 2 days ago • 2 comments

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

you look like you’d order the small mac from dark mcdonalds

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

ritual is important

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

It’s called progressive rock because of the type of lenses its listeners have to wear.

submitted 99 days ago • 12 comments

I will die on any one of these hills, I really do not care

submitted 3 days ago • 12 comments

"real as hell" Don't say that. Don't ever say that.

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

setting up an amp to play the king of the hill theme so loud that it shatters mountains like glass

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

calling UPS to ask why they don’t have possession of my package yet

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

there's a new website where instead of liking and sharing you hate and sequester

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

thinking of adopting a robotic, sociopathic affect

submitted 3 days ago • 4 comments

"Country roads, take me home To the place I belong" the country road takes me to a place called boringloserville

submitted 3 days ago • 5 comments

hiding extra clocks in a hollow tree

submitted 3 days ago • 2 comments

we put an MBA on the beat. you can’t even imagine how bad it sucks

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

I just assumed you guys were all make a wish kids

submitted 3 days ago • 4 comments

i like getting paranoid actually and it’s not setting me back socially

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Ms. Frizzle is a sexual deviant

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

currently inside of my apartment

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Cooking laundry

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

It is possible that some people could still be alive

submitted 3 days ago • 3 comments

If you “Advertise your Products” you’re a “well known loser”

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

i’m really good at eating for someone that barely weighs 120

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

sorry for my last post about being outside that was fictitious I am inside laying down I won't lie anymore

submitted 3 days ago • 3 comments