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philwongcatford.bsky.social
3rd hardest man in Catford, CAFC and Lewisham Borough fan, father of 2, husband of 1
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youtu.be/A3ihseDZWcI

I want to have sex with lower division stands that don’t go to the end of the pitch

Hearing a rumour that Andy Mack nearly set fire to his kitchen this arvo and was running about his front yard shouting “fuckin hell fuckin hell fuckin hell” in his slippers with a bucket of water Wish I had footage 🤣🤣🤣

Stephen Graham has looked 45 years old since he was a teenager. I used to think “unlucky there mate” but now he’s 53 I’m thinking fair enough

I am LOVING life as a #cafc fan at the moment Your team playing 3/10 for best part of a decade defo makes you appreciation the 7/10 times Just drinking through the hangover from bolton last nite, sober day with the family tomorrow then start drinking tomorrow ready for Saturday Viva Charlton

Watching peep show on 4 on demand A sure fire sign that I’ve been on the sup since 3pm

Clive and I had some Crazy Sour Skittles and now normal Skittles don’t even get my tastebuds out of bed.

Sharon saying “I don’t want you to get another Charlton tattoo” She doesn’t appreciate that I’ve got Sharon tattooed on my forearm and Clive and Sasa on my other arm You can’t please everyone She talked me down from getting “MATTY HOLLAND!” tattooed acrossed my chest in about 2007 tbf

I’m getting my 4th Charlton tattoo in the morning lads 🎵 It’s on my calf It’s on my chest It’s on my heart And then the rest🎵 #cafc getting it on my back so ppl can see I’m a Charlton fan from 360 degrees whether I’m in front of you or beside you ❤️🤍

Hate this time of year when none of your mates are up for pints in the evening No noise from Joe Chapman, white Pete spending time with his family, bagfootjim skint from a boozy December, Andy Mack on a health kick Just been dragging Clive down the ram every day poor lad

👊👊👊

You don’t get any centre forward strike partners these days. It used to be 2 up top, wingers hugging the touch line. A number 4 defensive midfield and a number 8 play maker I’m still annoyed about 3-5-2 coming in in the 90s And now it’s all 4-1-3-1 nonsense Inverted nipple wingers fuck off

Clive and Sasha’s mates when they come round to play Nintendo or do their make up always say “I can’t believe your dad is 3rd hardest man in catford” I’m always like: “ask your dad, who Phil Wong is, and if he knows, he knows” The kids don’t know the history of the Catford gangster scene

My advice to anyone is to live life to the full If you want to go to the pub GO TO THE PUB Do your jobs in the morning Do exercise. I’ve done 21,660 steps today on my way from pub to pub And pub to pub Don’t beat yourself up about living your life

Have you ever had a dream about your wife cheating on you or leaving you and giving you short shrift? I’ve had a few dreams like that and woke up perterbed The worst. But it is just a dream no need to panic

Sharons always like “you should join Sasha’s school’s board of governance and give advise to the kids” Im like “what? Advise about driving 4,000 tampons from Dover to Aberdeen once a fortnight? Fucks sakes If the 400 kids in her school did that there’d be 1.6million tampons in Aberdeen you fool!

When am shitfaced all I can handle is #cafc highlights of play offs, police interceptors or serial killer documentaries Sharon be like “let’s sit down and watch Planet Earth” with that John Attenborough character Come on shaz I’ve had 11 pints I don’t want to stare at a fucking hippotomus

Yes I’ve been drinking for 96 hours Yes #cafc won again Yes I’ll be getting told off off by Sharon tomorrow night And yes I’ll be apologetic as fuck Live and (don’t) learn ❤️🤍⚽️❤️🤍⚽️

Evryone jokes on about I’ve got the key I’ve got the secret Making out that urban cookie collective are some sort of noverlty band Fact is - high on a happy vibe and sail away are also good songs I’ve got the key was the best song of 1993 Lack of respect from the masses

I. Will be. In woolwich spoons. At 9. AM. Tomorrow. 12:30 kick offs are sent to try us but the schrewd drinkers amongst us will always find a way To get. Drunk. By kick off. #cafc And what they don’t appreciate is that I’ve got 10 hours after the match to get even more drunk in #catford

Can’t start a fire Can’t start a fire without a spark #CAFC’s on fire I am dancing in the #catford ram in the dark Du du du du duuuu I’m dancing in the ram in the dark 🎵

Don’t worry about acheiving your life dreams and ambitions Just keep a smile on your face and enjoy each day God gives you

Life is for living ❤️

Spoons open on Xmas day is a touch Planning to manufacture and argument with sash just as I finish my last roast potato later

Hello lads

I’m never sure about pubs whose Google images are all of plates of fucking food I want to see a photo of it when it’s empty and see how many seats and tables theyve got

You may notice I am now 3rd hardest man in catford. This is in response to ongoin runours that the Albanian IS DEAD A gangster feud in his home country apparently.Keep an eye out for the Netflix document which I hope will be called “THE ALBANIAN” and I am happy to appear on it with an altered voice

The Catford Ram > The Blythe Hill Tavern

#cafc I was in charge of trains this week so I’ve chosen the option with 5 cjanges that gets us in 5 mins before the 2 changes one CAN’T WAIT TO SEE JOE CHAPMAN’S FACE AT NEWARK!

Hate 12:30 kick offs Leaving #catford at 6:05am and not get into Lincoln til 9:42am so not even there 3 hours before kick off Big pressure on the train cans 2mro. Come on the fruity flavoured ciders! #cafc More drinking time post match is the only saving factor

Hi Bluesky

Stand and deliver!!

I’ve got a pube stuck inside my phone screen

Love it when you think it’s Sunday and it’s actually Saturday Another pint please. I’m out all night

White Pete’s cousin had a bottle of red on the way TO Walsall this morning Even I was like “what you playing at Arth!” He’s got it back to front.Lager on the way, red on the return Might giv Arthur at the Ram a ring and tell him to tell his missus to get the carpet cleaner ready for the mornin 🤮

Last orders in the Ram a formality