pitchforcupine.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

FEDERAL RESEARCH LAB SCIENTIST IN 1965: After five years and seventy million dollars we have invented a new type of plastic that prevents communists from being able to climb ladders too fast FEDERAL RESEARCH LAB SCIENTIST IN 2025: My cure for cancer was shelved because it might benefit Hispanics

submitted 4 days ago • 110 comments

The job market has never been better for shills, stooges, and toadies of all stripes. Linkedin absolutely buzzing if you're a sycophant, a flunky, or even an unctuous little worm

submitted 6 days ago • 223 comments

around here, we believe in LAW & ORDER. We uphold the SANCTITY of LIFE as SACRED!!! it is also ILLEGAL to be BORN

submitted 24 days ago • 0 comments

When I was a Hill staffer in 2009, a Dem trifecta was trying to pass universal healthcare. In response, Senate GOP released a memo detailing all of the tactics they in the minority could use to delay the effort as much as possible. I'm recirculating that 2009 GOP memo here. Take inspiration from it.

submitted 24 days ago • 1308 comments

american citizens will be so overjoyed with the ability to say slurs at work that they will no longer need to consume food nor purchase consumer goods

submitted 26 days ago • 32 comments

We must destroy the scientists in charge of the doomsday clock before they kill us all

submitted 29 days ago • 22 comments

John Fetterman’s a disgrace to the oaf community. He does not represent America’s lumbering buffoons, ham-fisted galoots, or men whose heavy footsteps are soundtracked by a tuba.

submitted 31 days ago • 201 comments

We're making all your websites shitty and evil. What are you gonna do, log off and spend time with your family

submitted 43 days ago • 236 comments

i could rip my entire dick off with my bare hands right now, i could change my life forever in this moment

submitted 50 days ago • 9 comments

Are Americans too genetically inferior to work in high-tech? The owner and CEO of X thinks so.

submitted 61 days ago • 199 comments

(living in a country where the most successful people are obscenely rich and shameless perverts and psychopaths) Time to teach my children to be honest and study hard in school

submitted 62 days ago • 64 comments

by 2028 the only job left will be hawking gas station dick pills to men who can't touch their toes

submitted 62 days ago • 0 comments

“Haha can you believe McDonalds is doing a Squid Game promo” easily yes because capital subsumes all critiques of itself and no popular TV show or piece of art will ever threaten or unsettle it

submitted 62 days ago • 259 comments

when a police man says hes going to give you a hot meal that means hell shoot you. the hot meal is a bullet. they call it Police mans dinner

submitted 65 days ago • 87 comments

The release of the ethics report on Matt Gaetz could have a chilling effect on future Congressman’s ability to drug and rape child sex slaves.

submitted 65 days ago • 25 comments

Do y'all think the Animaniacs have soft, fur-like skin or smooth, slick skin like an orca? Either way, whatever Yakko's pulling out of those pants, I’m suckin.

submitted 356 days ago • 35 comments

Lol this is just the saddest bunch of shitheads ever to do it. Hall of fame level shit.

submitted 69 days ago • 73 comments

Imagine being the richest man in the world and choosing to spend your time with the likes of Mike Johnson.

submitted 70 days ago • 26 comments

𝗔𝗺𝘆 𝗞𝗹𝗼𝗯𝘂𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗿 @amyklobuchar․com Whether you piss in it or shit in it, no one can disagree that the Porcelain Toilet is our #1 place to go doo doo or the other thing. You can puke in it as well, if you need to spit up puke. There are a lot of things you can put in the fantastic Toilet! I love you.

submitted 72 days ago • 2 comments

hey man there’s a giant boot-shaped dick in your mouth you might want to do something about that

submitted 71 days ago • 0 comments

when i strike oil im getting that P. Thiel vein installed in my skull that sucks the moisture out of my brain and pisses it all over my head

submitted 74 days ago • 81 comments

There should be a word for when you’re “waking up” to the injustice in our society and working to fix it

submitted 79 days ago • 6 comments

millenial with 25,000 followers: yall this is an important moment to invigorate the working class and build automated socialism for gamers. we can recover from tuca and bertie getting cut. solidarity! zoomer with a cop's gun: the sun rises as it sets. we'll all meet god today

submitted 79 days ago • 5 comments

hilarious by itself that the internet in 2024 is a terrifying specter that haunts and drains us all. funnier still that its owners are the most scared of all

submitted 81 days ago • 0 comments

The phrase “I was scammed by a meme coin” seems to contain within it the wisdom the complaint is seeking

submitted 82 days ago • 34 comments

‘avin a wank on wings of wax

submitted 82 days ago • 0 comments

They're making a Palestinian child refugee the next CEO of United Health and she's gonna be strapped to the front of the car they drive the other executives around in

submitted 83 days ago • 4 comments

as a fun moral question can anyone explain to me an ethical difference between being an insurance company CEO and firing a gun blindly into a crowd

submitted 84 days ago • 183 comments

[I stop sucking my thumb, standing after being curled up in the upper crest of Donald Trump’s left nipple]: NO!! Conservatism is NOT merely a nest of unresolved daddy issues!!!!

submitted 85 days ago • 0 comments

And Jesus entered the temple and said to the money changers, "You are an important part of the local economy and I'm looking forward to working with you"

submitted 86 days ago • 65 comments

Oh great job guys. You know that tech oligarch who amassed obscene wealth by doing financialization? He was super left wing until he saw your post

submitted 86 days ago • 105 comments

Treat your woman like a princess (marry her off to an inbred duke to secure a military alliance)

submitted 89 days ago • 27 comments

her nipples alone account for more US GDP than every Target store

submitted 87 days ago • 0 comments

shitting myself to death in the imodium aisle at CVS, leaving brown claw marks on all the locked displays

submitted 88 days ago • 19 comments

oh so now Asmodeus, Lord of Demons and Sixth King of Hell, is not “qualified” to be town sherriff????