Profile avatar
poophq.bsky.social
The people didn't vote for us to break everything with weaponized incompetence, but we're gonna do it anyway Parody account. It's just a joke bro
35 posts 172 followers 469 following
Getting Started
Active Commenter
Posts 8 Comments 27

~Team Spotlight~: Field Digital Security Officer James Boldercumt is a: * Graduate of the Trump University Digital Cyber Program * Once ate 15 Fig Newtons in a four minute period * May have accidentally deleted 12 years of NASA launch data after dropping a POOP-issued Security Bong on his keyboard

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

Q: Bobby Goobon is doing some badass database work at the NSA, but the db is written in a weird language that AI says is a sequel to an older one. Anyone know what the original one was? @techconnectify.bsky.social @voidlinux.mom @swiftonsecurity.com @esqueer.net @parismarx.com @kateconger.com

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Treated the team to a BurgerHut lunch, and we seriously considered getting the 100-Patty Surprise for everyone! Fortunately, Eugene Cystro pointed out that it would've cost $11,505 so we got chicken sandwiches instead. Just another day of cutting costs from YOUR WASTEFUL GOVERNMENT!!! 💪💪👷‍♂️👷‍♂️

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

By our rigorous calculations, over TWELVE TRILLION HOURS are wasted in traffic waiting at stop lights! That’s why we’re partnering with the Provo Department of Transportation to pilot the deletion of all red lights on traffic signals! #gottagofast

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

Best of luck to Bucky, our Mt Hollybrook Junior High intern, on spearheading the rollout of this exciting project at SSA - here goes nothing!🤞🤞

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Absolutely no truth in the rumor that POOP is hoarding personally identifiable information (PII) because screaming "I HAVE ALL THE PII" (prounced like 'pee') is hilarious, nor is there credence to the rumor that all POOP team leads are required to drink 1 liter of urine per hour to "maintain focus"

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Wild! According to the Social Security database, there are over 500 MILLION people with "primary keys" (which according to AI is an old term for password I guess) to their accounts! How can that be if the US population is only ~330mm! This might be the biggest fraud in history.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Let the cost-cutting begin! On DAY ONE we already saved 46 pounds of wood by deleting one leg from each lab table at the Lubbock National Laboratory of Scientifically Unstable Compounds. You're welcome!

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments