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prestontompkins.bsky.social
Comedian, Video Editor, 7/11 Rewards Member. ✂️Editor: The Dollop 🎥 Watch Paranormal Drunktivity below https://youtu.be/PnJaRhKdl7s?si=KY1pKghwOTQGbsYY
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New crowd work special from Gareth Reynolds dropping on YouTube tonight, filmed at The Comedy Fort! This is the 4th special I've edited #postsky

What chapter of Art of the Deal is getting in a screaming match with your constituent and not getting the deal you wanted signed so you leave with nothing?

I already failed no nut capitalism day

A top White House official has threatened to redraw the U.S.- Canadian border. President Trump said "Don't worry, we're just drawing a penis."

FBI Director Kash Patel wants to bring the UFC to the FBI, sources say. The only thing for certain is someone is getting a UTI.

Andrew Tate has traveled to Florida after a judge threw out his travel ban. Sales for Rogaine in the US are expected to skyrocket.

Kid Rock and Lauren Boebert are now dating. In related news, the CDC is warning that Chlamydia is now airborne

Texas has a measels outbreak within one week of RFK Jr becoming Secretary of HHS. Activists everywhere are stating "The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a brain worm is a good guy with a brain worm."

The January 6th Prison Choir will be performing at the Kennedy Performing Arts Center. New episode of Finally Some Bad News out everywhere! #podcast

Pope Francis is in critical condition. His spirts are low because he just found out John Cena only visits sick kids

Heart Eyes, Companion, The Monkey. What a month folks

The January 6th prison choir will be performing at the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts. They will be singing Kid Rock's greatest hits.

Hooters announced it is preparing to declare bankruptcy. Weekend Dads will have to find a new restaurant to take their kids to on Saturdays

At this rate, in March the government will be smaller than Trump's penis

And AI fanboy account tried to dunk on me and when I said "ChatGPT couldn't give you anything better?" he blocked me

Hey @aifilm.bsky.social fuck off

A child in Kentucky shot and killed two men in self-defense after they broke into his home last weekend. Proving that Kevin McCallister was a pussy ass bitch

What's the deal with airline food? You'd think they'd serve better stuff for your last meal!

The founder of Nutella has passed away at the age of 97. His funeral will be open casket so everyone can dip a finger in

KFC is moving its US headquarters from Kentucky to Texas. Get ready for the new KFC item: stand your ground double down. It's two fried chickens with a gun in the middle

Since Trump took office there have been 87 aviation incidents in the US. Gay people don't control the weather but a gay senator from Indiana sure as shit makes planes stay in the air

Love that Rob Schneider has to sit in the audience for SNL's 50th and 1) Not be acknowledged 2) Hearing a throwaway Trump joke get a laugh louder than any laugh he's gotten in the last 20 years

In Ames, Iowa- a beloved water buffalo named Phil who escaped its pen last year and led police on a dayslong chase to capture him has passed away. Phil was found with a gun and a suicide note apologizing to police

New work out on YouTube. Comedian Gareth Reynolds has dinner with a family he's never met. It's absolute chaos. #postsky

Ohio lawmakers have proposed a new law that bans men from ejaculating without the intent of conception, and would fine those $10,000 per ejaculation. Since this article published I have racked up a million dollars in debt

I think you mean "zero gravity in"

South Africa just announced via a poll that Elon Musk is "the worst thing to come out of South Africa." You know you're a piece of shit when people hate you more than apartheid

Trump is getting rid of the penny because he almost got shot in the head too

Part two of our session with these hilarious dudes is out now everywhere you get podcasts! #podcast #comedy

Kevin Costner on a bender with Pete Davidson

There's a Secret Service agent running around right now looking for more diet coke

A short documentary I edited about firefighters with PTSD, Shepherds of Fire, got accepted into its first film festival at the Independent Short Awards lfg #postsky #postchat

I awlays knew pussy would be my downfall

Tired: NYT: Young Musk Fans Learn American Civics, Hands-On Wired: Wired: Those Little Rat Fucks Are Still In The Walls

Since Mitch McConnel is in a wheelchair today he's technically a DEI hire so he should be let go

The son of Michael Jordan was arrested for DUI, cocaine possession and resisting arrest. "At least he doesn't owe money" said Michael Jordan

Mexico agreed to send 10,000 troops to reinforce the border to pause President Trump's tariffs. The same border where they already had 10,000 troops stationed. Since 2021. Through a deal they made with President Biden. Checkmate liberals

To pause Trump's tariffs, Canada agreed to spending 1.3 billion dollars on a border security plan. A plan they announced in December. When Biden was in office. Checkmate liberals

Trump: Backtracks tariffs after stock markets open lower and relationships with our closest allies are severely damaged all because he wanted to extort them. Conservatives: Masterful gambit, sir

If you like jokes about John Fetterman than this is the show for you! New episode out everywhere!