realchriscal.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

Children are dying of measles.

submitted 6 hours ago • 158 comments

You can check my album out all over streaming! Play it on Spotify on repeat so I can make a coupla pennies. Tell your moms to get it, I think they’ll like it. Just put it in your ears!

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

Nature? Nurture? I dunno what it is but you can bet for damn sure I’m flipping extremely hot food in a pan with my fingers and getting annoyed at being burned just like my father and grandfather before me.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

We* Bought a Zoo *Private equity. We will be allowing a select few billionaires to hunt and eat the animal meat then we’ll cry about how no one even likes living animals anymore so we will file for bankruptcy and leave the zoo to became its own dangerous wild habitat in the middle of a city.

submitted 9 days ago • 1 comment

I sometimes feel like Brooklyn’s nice comedy uncle on shows with cool young comedians!

submitted 13 days ago • 14 comments

It's getting tiring to keep saying this, but for posterity's sake I will: any previous administration would have been instantly sunk by this. Before January 20, 2017, this would have been the most stunning corruption scandal in the history of the American justice system. Now, it's...a Thursday.

submitted 13 days ago • 58 comments

Temu Nosferatu

submitted 13 days ago • 98 comments

[ceo tossing and turning in bed] the air. the air they breathe should be a subscription service.

submitted 53 days ago • 66 comments

Got a stand up clip doing well on Tik Tok and multiple people have been like “is this funny?” And man I don’t know. I know that the game is all about social media now so I’m playing it and the reward is questions like this or some brand being like GREAT! WANNA SELL OUR PROTEIN ENEMAS ON YOUR PAGE?!!

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

Hey guys meta announced a new policy where they send a killer to get you so be sure to go to settings>my account > killer> disable killer to turn that off

submitted 14 days ago • 4 comments

Every news organization should be standing in solidarity with the AP and not attending any event an AP reporter is barred from. This is preposterous, and it's one hell of a slippery slope.

submitted 14 days ago • 8 comments

Bird Flu watching RFK Jr get confirmed

submitted 14 days ago • 8 comments

You can check my album out all over streaming! Play it on Spotify on repeat so I can make a coupla pennies. Tell your moms to get it, I think they’ll like it. Just put it in your ears!

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

My wife was featured in The NY Times last months. She’s a great writer and in this thread I will share the dope pitches she has for movies and shows that someone should give here lots of money for! www.nytimes.com/2024/11/05/a...

submitted 72 days ago • 1 comment

Ordering Nachos for delivery

submitted 71 days ago • 0 comments

If you read all four KISS autobiographies it's like Rashomon for idiots.

submitted 14 days ago • 46 comments

It's like, imagine if PT Barnum created a car that catches fire, locks you inside, and kills you.

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

The worst player in the NBA?

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

Me, a pedestrian: “Now see here driver! You simply must yield to me ‘tis my very right to cross any of our fair streets whenever I please! Me, a driver: YOU SONOFABITCH KEEP WALKING! Do you even know the power I possess at my feet?! I could mow you down! I will find your family-

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

The way people talk about film on social media makes me think a lot of folks don’t know that sometimes movies do things simply because it’s a really fucking cool thing to do.

submitted 15 days ago • 1 comment

Check out a free ten minute chunk from my new stand-up special "Comfort Beyond God's Foresight" And if you wanna see more, you can cruise over here and watch the whole thing: 800pgm.lnk.to/foresight www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vb9M...

submitted 16 days ago • 2 comments

If you haven’t seen Chris, he’s very funny! Give him a follow and watch his very good special!

submitted 17 days ago • 1 comment

I have a full ass comedy album you can download, stream, or re-tell verbatim to your friends and enemies. You can scope it on most streaming services and even watch the full special for free on YouTube. Check it and leave a review (if you don’t like it save it for the group text, baby!)

submitted 105 days ago • 1 comment

More and more they say the people are reading my work with tears in their eyes while shouting “thank you, sir”

submitted 17 days ago • 13 comments

Italian vs Italian American

submitted 102 days ago • 0 comments

I wrote this bit that is entirely unrelated to current things

submitted 17 days ago • 158 comments

I dunno if it will help but I got a new comedy special you can watch for free on YouTube. Maybe get high, order chicken tenders, and get husky with me this weekend. youtu.be/Eo36fjPsuJg?...

submitted 111 days ago • 1 comment

Now you can wash away that stinker of a game with me!

submitted 17 days ago • 1 comment

Alright now that that’s done LET’S GO JETS!!

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

Now you can wash away that stinker of a game with me!

submitted 17 days ago • 1 comment

New Orleans x Celebrating Philadelphia fans? They may rip a hole in the space time continuum.

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

So what this commercial would have me believe is that there’s a world where the singer Seal exists alongside an actual seal that very much looks, talks, and sings like the singer Seal? Alright gimme a fucking soda.

submitted 17 days ago • 1 comment

The refs getting it done early baby. You want to start hot.

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

I took the OVER on amount of national tragedies that had to be mentioned in the pre-game tonight.

submitted 17 days ago • 1 comment

I got Jill Stein for the win tonight. #SuperBowlLIX

submitted 17 days ago • 1 comment

If The Jets ever make the Super Bowl again the NYJ celebrity fans at the game are gonna be an insane roster. Sandler, Larry David, Method Man, Tony Soprano, the family that owns Taylor Ham, Chalamet, some prosciutto. I can’t wait.

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

Lol I got death threats delivered to my home for tweeting that you can’t overdose from touching fentanyl. These cowards need to grow up or resign

submitted 18 days ago • 36 comments

10-year-old me: Hey, what is that? Me: Oh this? It's the very fragile and expensive tiny pocket computer that runs our entire life now. We can't do anything without it. 10-year-old me: Jesus christ, you DROPPED it! Me: haha yeah 10-year-old me: JESUS CHRIST you dropped it AGAIN! Me: haha yeah

submitted 29 days ago • 6 comments

If you are doing an anti-Super Bowl thing I suggest you watch my comedy special for free on YouTube! It even has some sports jokes in it so it’s like theme appropriate.

submitted 18 days ago • 1 comment

This is how every Republican in congress speaks in interviews now

submitted 21 days ago • 0 comments