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reccastle.bsky.social
Just a nobody, living in the middle of nowhere, doing the best she can.
36 posts 58 followers 80 following
Prolific Poster
Posts 40 Comments 9

"He was like a knob of butter. But without the 'of butter'". [great novel first lines]

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day

submitted 13 days ago • 11 comments

I was today year's old when I learned that there are high schools in Wisconsin that actually have ice fishing teams.

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

Montréal paper

submitted 22 days ago • 1 comment

Eh

submitted 22 days ago • 1 comment

Imagine spending decades trying to dismantle another country's government and all you had to do was buy the two dumbest people in the world

submitted 21 days ago • 2 comments

The devil is in the details... No he's in the white house

submitted 24 days ago • 0 comments

he’d warned that fucker not to play wonderwall

submitted 37 days ago • 6 comments

Nervously, I close the bag. “No way,” I tell myself. “It’s not like she’s gonna count the fries.” I start to sweat.

submitted 42 days ago • 34 comments

me: alexa, play that song by the ting tings siri: that’s not my name

submitted 42 days ago • 47 comments

I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

submitted 45 days ago • 10 comments

Waking up tired is so dumb, like wtf were you doing for 8 hours you annoying bitch?

submitted 46 days ago • 1 comment

Reminder if the US attacks Québec is Canada s secret weapon

submitted 46 days ago • 1 comment

Johnny Depp is now EIGHT YEARS OLDER than John Mahoney was in the pilot episode of Frasier, in case you were looking for a reason to get super drunk

submitted 46 days ago • 13 comments

My resume is just an empty Starbucks gift card

submitted 62 days ago • 0 comments

Waitress: Anything else? Me: Check please Servirka: Něco dalšího?

submitted 74 days ago • 1 comment

I get my exercise on Sunday by walking around the Home Depot parking lot trying to find my car

submitted 80 days ago • 6 comments

Just rolled my first blunt y’all🥰 who tryna smoke??

submitted 81 days ago • 53 comments

*God hands Moses the ten commandments* Moses: this could have been an email

submitted 81 days ago • 1 comment

After a bitter divorce, and her very public nervous breakdown at a London night club, Flüf returns with her most personal album yet. 𝘞𝘢𝘭𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯 𝘌𝘨𝘨𝘴𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘴 drops this Friday. The first single, the visceral “Pluck You,” is available on all major streaming services.

submitted 82 days ago • 20 comments

One CEO dies and all the media is up in arms. Hundreds of school children are shot and that's the price of freedom?

submitted 83 days ago • 23 comments

Behind every mandated warning label is a story. A really, really fucking funny story.

submitted 97 days ago • 4 comments

If you accidentally get off the elevator at the wrong floor, you must walk around the hallway before getting back on, otherwise people might think you’re an idiot

submitted 98 days ago • 3 comments

ME: I’ve never hosted a Thanksgiving dinner and that's how I hope to go to my grave DOCTOR: Then I’ve got good news

submitted 100 days ago • 3 comments

i planted a quarter last summer

submitted 101 days ago • 14 comments

Just found a pair of my underwear in with my linen napkins. That would’ve spiced up Thanksgiving this year.

submitted 101 days ago • 5 comments

Screw the rubix cube. Give me someone who can untangle LED Christmas light.

submitted 100 days ago • 2 comments

Back when Wikipedia first showed up you could get away with anything. I once wrote that we traded Wyoming to the Russians for Hawaii and six cases of vodka and that’s how the Cold War started. It was there for three weeks

submitted 101 days ago • 8 comments

Nobody ever stops by unexpectedly when the house is clean

submitted 101 days ago • 9 comments

My new toilet cleaning brushes are coming today and I’m so excited, I googled it and apparently this is a symptom of being over 40

submitted 106 days ago • 0 comments

“You’re twenty years old, know two hundred words in three different languages, and you spend your days in a cage, shitting on newspaper and begging for crackers. Where the fuck did it all go wrong, Patrick? Thank God your mother isn’t alive to see this, it would break her heart.”

submitted 193 days ago • 1 comment

the room is empty

submitted 225 days ago • 0 comments

ernesto looked despairingly into the jaws of fate and let out a muffled sigh

submitted 225 days ago • 6 comments

i really hope i get the job because it’s not like i can put this thing back in my butler

submitted 237 days ago • 2 comments

Big holiday for Mrs Alito

submitted 257 days ago • 1 comment

probably should have asked for the BERRIES loaf

submitted 281 days ago • 2 comments

5: why don’t we have an elf-on-the-shelf? me: oh honey, it’s not that we don’t love you, it’s just that we don’t hate ourselves

submitted 456 days ago • 0 comments

Happy Thanksgiving to you all! Who else is having burritos for dinner? Anyone? Just me??

submitted 462 days ago • 0 comments

It's a new day filled with possibilities. Way too much pressure, so I think I'll just go back to bed.

submitted 463 days ago • 0 comments

@steveinburnaby.bsky.social It's Bedtime for Bonzo. No wins for me today, not even a dollar. So, I shall say good night. Stay warm and dry, and I'll touch base with you tomorrow.

submitted 463 days ago • 0 comments