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retroarchetype.bsky.social
mums new boyfriend (you don't have to call me dad if you don't want) he/him
48 posts 228 followers 32 following
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For over a decade now I've been playing TTRPGs and the best piece of advice I can offer after that is thus: CONSUME YOUR DICE. FEED UPON THE SUPPLE AND VIBRANT PLASTIC GEMS. NEVER FORGET THESE WORDS AND NEVER LEAVE AN ICOSAHEDRON UNDEVOURED. ONLY THEN WILL YOU ACHIEVE A HIGHER PLANE.

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments

each of my teeth has a little smoking chimney and cheerily lit windows with hanging flower boxes my mouth is a quaint tooth village

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

the gap in my resume? that's where the light gets in :')

submitted 9 days ago • 1 comment

Really loving the sense of community in this men's room. Checking each other out and saying 'healthy balls buddy'

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

For sale: baby shoes. Bought them because I thought they were normal sized but far away.

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

Go watch me ya mugs

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Anyone else using time at the dentist to rethink their entire life??

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

Remember when you're spray painting 'fuck musk' on a Tesla car some of them start recording when they sense a person is near

submitted 17 days ago • 1 comment

They're making the juice hetero now

submitted 20 days ago • 0 comments

the only compliment my writing ever received from my teachers was that I 'write interesting dialogue' which I believe is code for 'not great'

submitted 24 days ago • 1 comment

You really get a broad spectrum of ads on X the evening app.

submitted 27 days ago • 0 comments

Oh sure a dog can pee in public but when I do it I'm 'peeing into a urinal and it's okay'

submitted 26 days ago • 0 comments

Me after being Tron-ed into a videogame: woah, I think we just got Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017)-ed into a videogame

submitted 33 days ago • 0 comments

I gaze at the writings in the bar toilet, dreaming of the day I might remember to bring a marker and add my own wisdom to those who came before

submitted 34 days ago • 0 comments

'You won't be a able to unsee it' Brother you have no idea what I am capable of

submitted 36 days ago • 0 comments

You come to me on the day of my thot daughter or gay sons wedding

submitted 38 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 40 days ago • 0 comments

How do people look so normal in mirror photos? I always look like one of those pure bred cats at a competition

submitted 39 days ago • 0 comments

saw a cat in the park the other night. feeling pretty good about it

submitted 42 days ago • 0 comments

Finally reached the age where I discovered that the hotel cuck chair is to help you put on your shoes and socks which is a real horror for me thanks

submitted 44 days ago • 0 comments

The year is 2035. I meet President AOC in the Oval Office. "You've done well," she says. "By telling men to dress gay, you've lowered the population rate by 90%, thereby reducing carbon emissions." She slides me a manilla envelope. I can now afford a home in a walkable neighborhood

submitted 45 days ago • 699 comments

you literally never know how many magic school buses are inside you at any given moment

submitted 46 days ago • 2 comments

Unionizing with the other passengers on the bus. We choose the destination not the bourgeoisie

submitted 45 days ago • 0 comments

It's so sad but fair that messy girl aesthetic is kinda cute but messy boy aesthetic is a stink you can smell at any distance

submitted 46 days ago • 1 comment

Tried to get an ai to generate something I might post and it just went "augh... Um... Buah... What? ... Hmmm... Huh??" What do we think that's about?

submitted 48 days ago • 0 comments

Could a 'real fucking loser' need the bartender to repeat what they said five times because the music is too loud???

submitted 56 days ago • 0 comments

bring back saying 'riddle me this'. gotta be the best way to start a question

submitted 57 days ago • 1 comment

Dude you look stressed, take some time to watch a cat tilt its head quizzically

submitted 60 days ago • 0 comments

don’t go up mountains! hope this helps

submitted 61 days ago • 1 comment

It's once again that time of year when people complain about how many birds are in the 12 days of Christmas. and once again I am asking you to appreciate this man and his gifts he's doing poorly but he's doing his best

submitted 64 days ago • 0 comments

Excited for the Baby Shoes, Never Worn cinematic universe. The BSNWCU if you will

submitted 65 days ago • 0 comments

Wojack horseman - has anyone else thought of this???

submitted 69 days ago • 0 comments

the scariest thing that can happen to you while running a game is discovering your players know WAY more about an obscure topic than you do

submitted 69 days ago • 1 comment

i got that dog in me (and he's getting put down tomorrow)

submitted 73 days ago • 1 comment

This is an anti-beautiful people post 😤 I hate them so much

submitted 75 days ago • 0 comments

Excitedly watching a mouse climb my leg thinking this is Ratatouille only to discover to my horror that it's more of a Shadow of the Colossus

submitted 76 days ago • 0 comments

A Team Voice: I love it when a plan gets cancelled

submitted 78 days ago • 0 comments

You french kiss your mother with that mouth???

submitted 80 days ago • 0 comments

My liege, it's Jover

submitted 81 days ago • 0 comments

Does Google maps have a "don't make me turn across six lanes of peak hour traffic" mode? Would really appreciate it

submitted 82 days ago • 0 comments

Sometimes I leave work to the last minute but sometimes I remember I have chocolates in the fridge. Life comes at you fast and you have to be prepared

submitted 85 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 88 days ago • 0 comments