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robotrock.bsky.social
315 posts 74 followers 307 following
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Spent 25 thousand dollars on three custom made lifelike sex dolls so I can convincingly travel in the HOV lane

submitted 23 hours ago • 5 comments

Nice take Pooper

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

(whispering into my phone on the bus) Bixby, my digital assistant (max volume): SORRY, ZERO RESULTS FOUND FOR "HORSE MILK HORSE TITTIES NO NOT TITTIES WHAT'S THE WORD TEETS HORSE TEETS" (whispering again, visibly flustered) Bixby: HORSE JUGS, SOMETIMES CALLED BARN JUGS,

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

Not sure what the big deal is, rats have never started any kind of historically devastating pandemic

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

When I check the windows news bar in the morning at work there are always stories about Alzheimer’s and new discoveries about the Earth’s core. Not sure what this says about me and my browsing habits

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

SHIT guys sorry, I really didn’t know!!! I’ve returned it for a Volkswagen. Only unproblematic car manufacturers from here on out!

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

“Please advise?” Sure, I advise you to kill yourself

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

My biggest turn on is staring directly at a pair of labia

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

We should try to terraform Earth

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

Recently sold my Tesla and bought a BMW! Take that Elon the Nazi!

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

I got another man’s semen on my Carhartt jacket

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

👇👇👇👇

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Starting to think that technology might cause as many problems as it answers…

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

Mazda is the poor man’s Audi (complimentary)

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

Vin diesel looks like a penis

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

Sometimes I feel like a dog sipping coffee saying, “This is fine” with all kinds of fire in the background 🤣

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

Women cannot comprehend the power of a clean garage

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

Greek yogurt smells like feet 😍

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

The reason my dick is flaccid and unused is because women have gotten uglier due to woke, and not because I am old and terrible

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

Then pull the lever activating the trap door that leads to The Contraption

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

I’m going to The Good Taco Bell, do you guys want anything?

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

This is what we elected him to do

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

ShatGPeePee

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

ShatGPT

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

Smoking poop

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

Working in education because I love middle aged white women

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

Before they let you become a doctor they make you try all the medicines so you know what it’s like

submitted 25 days ago • 0 comments

If we are the land of the free, why do I have to go to work today? 🧐

submitted 25 days ago • 0 comments

Daughter and I are playing Breath of the Wild together and it’s a beautiful time

submitted 26 days ago • 0 comments

Simple Fashion Trend indeed

submitted 28 days ago • 0 comments

Bills are the most cursed team on the planet

submitted 28 days ago • 0 comments

(Guy who is taking viagra for the first time) I’m going to fuck around and find out

submitted 28 days ago • 0 comments

I get all of my relationship advice from Reddit

submitted 29 days ago • 0 comments

It’s January and you’re still wearing your gay apparel 😂😂😂

submitted 29 days ago • 0 comments

I showed my office coworkers my masculine energy and they were really impressed

submitted 30 days ago • 0 comments

Two local teachers gave the sieg heil to their middle school students, and a bunch of our Latino families have had ICE visit their homes and confirm their citizenship. Things are going great though

submitted 31 days ago • 0 comments

Perhaps more abhorrent than the gesture itself was the little grunt he made from the effort

submitted 32 days ago • 0 comments

(Quietly whispering to myself at 5:15am on the treadmill) Everybody in this bitch gettin tipsy

submitted 32 days ago • 0 comments

1. To be a writer, but really leaving my hometown was enough 2. English 3. N/A 4. School principal

submitted 33 days ago • 0 comments