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rudebarista.bsky.social
I write things, and some people like them. I think that's cool. Mostly found on theDieline.com. Bylines on PRINT and The Fresh Toast. I was going to revive my MySpace page, but I guess the party's here now?
111 posts 72 followers 220 following
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First time seeing the term "Broligarchs" and I love it! Perfect. Zero notes.

submitted 27 days ago • 0 comments

Is the company you work at dropping/changing DEI or sustainability goals or targets? DM me. I'll keep your identity anonymous. you can reach me at [email protected], too.

submitted 27 days ago • 0 comments

There’s something so festive and wonderful about “let’s revisit this in January” season.

submitted 77 days ago • 0 comments

So I’m a vegetarian. I came into that living a life full of meat. I’m sorry if one month a year I give in. And when that happens, I turn to the Colonel. That is some good eating and you can fight me IRL

submitted 79 days ago • 1 comment

"Tone, so there's this CEO of a company the entire country hates and he gets whacked. In The City, by some plumber."

submitted 84 days ago • 0 comments

"Luigi Mangione" is not hard to spell. Then again, I played a lot of Nintendo and "King of the Hill" is one of favorite TV shows.

submitted 84 days ago • 0 comments

Winter sucks. I hate it. The days are short, it’s dark early, and it’s “cold.” SoCal cold isn’t as cold as Boston or NYC, but we’ll pitch a bitch when it gets to the mid 50s. What sucks most about winter is that it really hinders my writing. It’s hard to be inspired when it’s cold and dark!

submitted 88 days ago • 0 comments

I don’t know how designers are now following here versus the other place. But I know Pantone’s color of the year. They told all about it. I agreed to an embargo, so can’t say yet what it is. But I really dig it. It’s old school cool. Very Disco.

submitted 89 days ago • 0 comments

I really admire how American Southerners have adapted the English language. For example: our language didn’t have a word for second person plural. Southerners came up “y’all.” Perfect. Zero notes.

submitted 92 days ago • 1 comment

My mom’s lawyer asked her to sign some papers and said “no hay pedo” in her case. I was surprised. I asked my mom if her attorney is Mexican, she said no. I told her than he hangs around Mexicans or learned Spanish from some b/c no lawyer tells a client “no hay pedo” unless they’re Mexican.

submitted 93 days ago • 0 comments

I’m so ride or die with the Fast and Furious even if they have Dom racing a golf cart in Florida living a retirement community, I’m still in.

submitted 94 days ago • 1 comment

Another Thanksgiving convo, but between my dad and I. “We too old and our bodies too broken for revolution. Best I can do is keep writing. I ain’t built for wearing all black and a balaclava to run into the shit anymore.”

submitted 94 days ago • 0 comments

My mom at Thanksgiving: “Trump won’t do all that tariff stuff. Someone will stop him.” Who will stop him and his tariffs is all I can say. The answer is no one. It’s starting to sink in. Too late though.

submitted 94 days ago • 0 comments

My favorite nickname for the Cyber Truck is “Deplorean.” That’s very clever. But “Wankerpanzer” feels like a better descriptor. Clever, but less so. But seems more accurate.

submitted 95 days ago • 0 comments

chaya raichik, aka Libs of TikTok, has never served in uniform. Never took an oath to defend our constitution literally with her body. Unless she’s thanking those who did, she can STFU.

submitted 95 days ago • 0 comments

Now that we’re in drinking season, a friendly reminder. NEVER, EVER AGREE TO DO FIELD SOBRIETY TESTS. If you’re being asked to them, the cop has enough to arrest you anyway. FSTs are just evidence-gathering to hurt your case later. Those tests are up to a cop’s interpretation and you will fail.

submitted 96 days ago • 0 comments

Parents, stop lying to your kids about Santa Claus. All you’re doing is raising cynical kids that might someday decide to write about this fucked up world like me. You don’t want your kids following my path.

submitted 96 days ago • 0 comments

I was carrying my old ass Timbuk2 messenger bag when I ran into a friend and they asked my why I have the same bag all these years. I said “buy once, cry once.” Sometimes I want a newer version, but this one is still good after a decade.

submitted 96 days ago • 0 comments

Starbucks is doing an upcoming food collab with Bitchin’ Sauce and store managers are telling staff they’re not allowed to use the name of the sauce. Because profanity? Siren gonna siren, I guess.

submitted 96 days ago • 0 comments

Bye Felicia.

submitted 96 days ago • 0 comments

The Jag-u-ar refresh has me seriously looking at Jaaaags to maybe buy. I always wanted one. I’m roguish enough to drive a Jaaag. But the smart part of my brain always chose a Lexus instead. A dentist may soon say goodbye to their beloved XJR. I’m just saying.

submitted 96 days ago • 1 comment

Just a reminder ahead of Thanksgiving: everything is politics. You can’t pick-and-mix MAGA. Maybe things you didn’t want are bundled in, but the menu is prix fixe, baby. For the Trump voters, “prix fixe,” is fancy socialism talk for “fixed menu” in a restaurant that isn’t Applebee’s or Chili’s.

submitted 96 days ago • 0 comments

AI so whitewashed it made Vivek as white as he’s probably always dreamed he was.

submitted 97 days ago • 0 comments

Humans innovated a great many things. For better but often for worse. But the bagel breakfast sammy never hurt nobody and is delicious.

submitted 98 days ago • 0 comments

Touchscreens in cars have been so bad that automakers are going back to analog knobs and switches. Admittedly, at the glacier pace of the industry. When you’re operating a massive machine traveling 10s a MPH, tactile is a big deal in UI! Look at an F1 wheel. Lots of knobs and switches.

submitted 98 days ago • 0 comments

Favorite movies from big IPs, let’s go: For me: Star Wars: Rouge One Fast and Furious: Fast Five Godfather: the third one.

submitted 99 days ago • 1 comment

Now that so many are trying to capture our attention with AI-generated slop, I’ve come to appreciate pro wrestling more. The stunts and physically were always real even if the narrative scripted. People made all that. Not robots. For better or worse.

submitted 99 days ago • 0 comments

When I hear White folks pronounce it “ha-lap-a-nos” I ain’t even mad. That is ”bless your heart” levels of funny to me.

submitted 102 days ago • 0 comments

The same people who DEMANDED to see Kamala Harris’s McDonald’s paystub and Barack Obama’s birth certificate are HIDING evidence of Matt Gaetz’s sex crimes.

submitted 102 days ago • 80 comments

I need to talk about the Jag-u-ar brand refresh. I love cars. I come from the car world. They did Jag dirty. Now it looks like a vacuum cleaner brand instead of a storied flag bearer of British motoring. It’s not a Jaaaag anymore.

submitted 102 days ago • 1 comment

Apparently, there are 67 people who follow me on Reddit. I don’t know why, or who they are, but I guess they like my shitposting enough. I don’t even know how to follow someone on reddit and I’ve been there since 2010.

submitted 102 days ago • 1 comment

I know enough to know the next twenty years will suck. Lots of people will suffer and die who didn’t need to. Buckle up, and save as many compatriots as you can along the way.

submitted 102 days ago • 0 comments

I’m “fuck it, let’s just get a heat and serve Thanksgiving dinner” years-old. Protip: Costco is choice for Thanksgiving.

submitted 102 days ago • 1 comment

It’s a challenge to be civil with people that want you dead and working towards that end. I have to believe someone as successful as Cuban would know that.

submitted 102 days ago • 0 comments

“Let’s revisit this in January” is really the most wonderful time of the year.

submitted 103 days ago • 0 comments