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salsabeard.bsky.social
I don’t know anything and I don’t know whats going on. It’s better this way.
289 posts 377 followers 301 following
Prolific Poster
Posts 45 Comments 5

I’m on nobody’s radar, I am stealth baby

submitted 16 hours ago • 9 comments

I want your soul’s pleasure breaths on my lips

submitted 18 hours ago • 0 comments

I’m craving toast & by toast I mean Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

Putting my Amazon purchases off until Saturday, tyranny begone!

submitted 1 day ago • 3 comments

You can flirt with my husband but not my Bluesky crush 🤣

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Show me your sky

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

Before the Internet came along, Uranus was spelled Youranus

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

Things are terrible, kid. *deep drag off cigarette Horrible as far as the eye can see.

submitted 1 day ago • 1 comment

Thursday is the cock tease of the week.

submitted 22 days ago • 0 comments

I’m quite regular -me flirting

submitted 1 day ago • 12 comments

Can I interest you in a flight of sausages?

submitted 1 day ago • 21 comments

Kindly return me to the timeline where something, ANYTHING, makes sense.

submitted 1 day ago • 6 comments

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Hell hath no fury like a woman woken from a nap at the time she asked you to wake her up

submitted 1 day ago • 9 comments

the sunlight wraps her arms around me in this amber crystal morning #poetry

submitted 3 days ago • 8 comments

if i were king triton i would have named my trident britney spears.

submitted 3 days ago • 12 comments

Alexa, get wine stains off a cat.

submitted 4 days ago • 33 comments

My autobiography is just going to be a bunch of CVS prescription receipts stapled together.

submitted 3 days ago • 5 comments

This is beyond inconvenient

submitted 3 days ago • 4 comments

Unfortunately for me, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman

submitted 3 days ago • 6 comments

Being pregnant is kind of goth because you have a skeleton inside you.

submitted 4 days ago • 52 comments

find ya own person and lock tf in everyone else won’t matter

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

From now on I’ll give my unsolicited opinion starting with, “listen here you little idiot…”

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

this post is me dramatically removing my oversized earring to take a heated call on an old timey telephone

submitted 4 days ago • 10 comments

I have sourdough starter older than some of you

submitted 4 days ago • 16 comments

Add IQ points by being able to change your perspective.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

Have your people reskeet my people.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

Leaders are elected to be public servants… Not public predators.

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

Only apathy will save me now

submitted 5 days ago • 1 comment

We are nothing more than a blip on an infinite timeline and I take comfort in that fact

submitted 6 days ago • 18 comments

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

ghost me once shame on you you stupid fuck there is no twice

submitted 6 days ago • 4 comments

Nobody likes me everybody hates me so I'm gonna go eat gummi worms *cries sugary tears*

submitted 6 days ago • 2 comments

How can I repent if I never pent in the first place

submitted 6 days ago • 6 comments

Your words like hot wax dripping on my soul

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

‪I was thinking this morning that the only enemy I truly have is myself and sometimes, if I give myself half a chance, I will fuck myself up royally.‬

submitted 6 days ago • 5 comments

Imagine dating me. Wrong. More no fucks given.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

You are my winning lottery.

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

Imagine dating me. Wrong. More your dad jokes.

submitted 6 days ago • 1 comment

Movie you’ve watched more than 6 times, gifs only

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

Despite all evidence to the contrary, I still choose to believe in the inherent kindness of an individual human

submitted 7 days ago • 20 comments

When you call me motherfucker, say it sweetly and I’ll love you forever or at least a long time

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

Getting a mani-pedi is just paying someone to remind me how insanely ticklish I am

submitted 7 days ago • 2 comments

Little miss fashionably late to the party logging in

submitted 109 days ago • 2 comments