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samgrittner.bsky.social
C.E.O. of @Hooey (formerly: @Flim-Flam) https://linktr.ee/samgrittner
79 posts 1,426 followers 185 following
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Come see me perform stand-up comedy one last time! Sat. June 21st at the Pine Box Rock Shop in BK. $10, all proceeds going to the Ali Forney Center to help at-risk LGBTQ+ youth. 7pm! Travis is hilarious, Lucy is a comedy genius, plus, me?!

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Times are tough right now. I just went to cross a bridge and my local troll only asked me to solve his riddles two.

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

Times are tough right now. I just went to cross a bridge and my local troll only asked me to solve his riddles two.

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

Happy belated 4/20 + Easter “He has resin.”

submitted 47 days ago • 0 comments

Haha! Get him, leopards! Wait… no, stop! My face! My beautiful white Anglo face! How could this have happened TO ME?!

submitted 58 days ago • 0 comments

They’re really doing it… De-Ba'athification for old folks. You know who’s ready to strap on a vest because the government says no more money for you? 90-year-olds.

submitted 58 days ago • 1 comment

All the wrong people hate themselves.

submitted 59 days ago • 0 comments

If someone owns… 0-5 snakes, they also sell weed. 6-10 snakes, they also sell molly. 11-20 snakes, they also sell swords and ketamine. 20-40 snakes, they also sell the good swords and fake social security cards. 50+ snakes, they also sell snakes.

submitted 191 days ago • 1 comment

All the wrong people hate themselves.

submitted 59 days ago • 0 comments

Capitalism is socialism but only for the top 1%.

submitted 59 days ago • 0 comments

The leftist Beekeeper’s origin story? I’m listening…

submitted 69 days ago • 1 comment

I moved to NYC when I was 25, which means this year is 18 years out here. I’ve always lived with multiple roommates. I currently live with 7 other people. But tomorrow, I move into my own studio apartment in Brooklyn. It is a dream come true. I “won” it because of the NYC housing lottery. If you…

submitted 102 days ago • 4 comments

Does anyone want to do brunch or self-immolate this weekend?

submitted 114 days ago • 0 comments

HHS Rfk Jr takes his final form

submitted 115 days ago • 0 comments

Eat glass. Walk into oncoming traffic. Break your arms and legs. Stop using the steering wheel when you drive. Turn off the lights. Start fires. Stop cutting your hair. Embrace slow gas leaks. Spend your kids college funds on online sports betting. And for the love of God: smoke ‘em if you got ‘em.

submitted 115 days ago • 1 comment

Still no legs? Interesting...

submitted 139 days ago • 0 comments

Check, please!

submitted 139 days ago • 0 comments

I lie to make people happy, I waste precious energy resources, I hallucinate all the time… when do I get to be AI?

submitted 145 days ago • 0 comments

My relationship with Big wasn’t the only thing I blew up that day. At the Trinity test site I detonated the first plutonium bomb, unleashing a 22 kiloton blast. Had I become Death, destroyer of worlds? Meanwhile uptown, Samantha had her hands full with her own “Manhattan project”

submitted 149 days ago • 118 comments

Yes, the apocalypse is here but how exciting is this? It’s a girl!

submitted 146 days ago • 3 comments

I have a normal brain

submitted 149 days ago • 0 comments

my fantasy former US presidents team is in shambles

submitted 161 days ago • 5 comments

When I was 8, my best friend stole my boomerang and we got into a big fight. The next day his parents died in a car accident and I never saw him again. Jeff, if you’re reading this, I want my boomerang

submitted 199 days ago • 77 comments

Right before he took the first shot Luigi Mangione whispered, “This is copayback, bitch.”

submitted 174 days ago • 1 comment

Doctor House? You mean, like, a hospital?

submitted 174 days ago • 1 comment

My youth pastor drops to his knees as I hit him with a simple in and out dribble. God can’t save him now

submitted 181 days ago • 8 comments

“What if a whistle was also a piano?” - the inventor of the harmonica

submitted 179 days ago • 0 comments

Technically, it’s a “manifest-ohhhhh!”

submitted 180 days ago • 0 comments

it’s time for a womanifesto, right ladies??? 💅🏽💅🏽💅🏽🥹🥹🥹

submitted 180 days ago • 0 comments

The good news: the boys are back in town! The bad news: they’ve acquired the taste for human flesh.

submitted 180 days ago • 8 comments

You’re either with me or against me or unaware of me or some kind of fish

submitted 184 days ago • 24 comments