sarco.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

Left my phone in the refrigerator again so when you see this I’m trying to figure out who or what sent this post

submitted 10 days ago • 4 comments

If I was a cell phone I'd ping so fucking hard. Like desperately, you wouldn't be able to stop me from pinging.

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

People don't seem to want to be around me too much and I am starting to suspect that it is because I have been rolling around in carrion.

submitted 10 days ago • 14 comments

I’d be mega pissed to be appointed a treasurer of anything. What do you mean we are not going on hunts for buried treasure? We have to count & funnel money? Get me the fuck outta here rn.

submitted 10 days ago • 1 comment

Me doing math Wait how many oh’s are in a million again?

submitted 10 days ago • 3 comments

If you’re in the mood for a change you should just put on a fuzzy green oversized angora sweater, a black flipped out bouffant wig w a blunt bang like Cher’s in Mermaids, & light up a 100 in the kitchen while waiting for your pasta to boil…instead of anything you’ll regret.

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

the devil never laughs harder than when he's hanging up new live laugh love signs around hell

submitted 10 days ago • 1 comment

[100th SNL Anniversary] RACHEL DRATCH: once again, please enjoy this performance by more robots of some stupid “your machine will never work” mortals

submitted 10 days ago • 0 comments

When strange times step in and disrupt your routine, get stranger, get timier. Is that a do I know you in my pocket watch or am I just doing the same thing I often always am. Three piece weighted down kangaroo train station dream business.

submitted 10 days ago • 10 comments

thinking about john brown today we need a few million john browns today

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

“This isn’t my era” I say—sharpening my quill.

submitted 14 days ago • 2 comments

Had on a Marley shirt & the young phlebotomist started saying he was prob murdered by the government who injected him w cancer. At first I was like we can talk, then I was like, “Pause. This is a really fucked up thing to say to someone before sticking them w a needle”

submitted 14 days ago • 3 comments

I could never be a navy seal cause if I’m not wrapping my hair around my index finger to vertically rub the silky part w my thumb or picking at my cuticles I will fuckin die.

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 14 days ago • 12 comments

Formalize normalizing things. Fanciest of modest movements, be not a blushing in how your podiatrist's affections behaved under the table for all who stretch dream of what they might do with an elongating dinner companion on leave from a super power fetish cartoon called Plastic Man

submitted 14 days ago • 8 comments

Cashier: have a good day. Me: I love you too.

submitted 12 days ago • 6 comments

and that’s how you know she really loves you

submitted 13 days ago • 18 comments

instru probably the best kind of mental to be

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

If I programmed the matrix, every Feb 29th I'd swap the audio for ducks quacking with dogs barking.

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

Gonna add “standup comedian” to my profile so people will stop expecting me to be funny

submitted 13 days ago • 3 comments

the membrane between intermental resonance is the thinnest it has ever been I can press and stretch it transparently thin to bring clarity to your face through the murk of time I can just make out your slow motion smile

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

"Can you spare a square?" "We're both sharing the same toilet paper dispenser."

submitted 14 days ago • 9 comments

YOU GUYS WANNA MAKE SOME CONTENT WITH ME? shakes some dead flakes from scalp into box

submitted 14 days ago • 4 comments

Imagine hating me and I'm just...yeah that checks out actually

submitted 15 days ago • 3 comments

turning on sun lamps when it rains and rain sounds when its sunny playing bird songs in winter and white noise in summer

submitted 15 days ago • 1 comment

Steps out of the loneliest phone box in the world, beside a dusty road crossing a windswept desert plain "Lock Wilford knows dildos better than any Lock alive, dead, or trapped in the place between." Goes to step back inside only to find someone somehow using it to call a relative in NJ.

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

Classic mustache and an imminent heart explosion TV detective, your coffee mug of scotch world is ready

submitted 15 days ago • 3 comments

St. Francis of Assisi really dropped the mic w his Prayer For Peace. He shoulda won a Grammy. That’s how you know they are rigged by the Illuminati

submitted 15 days ago • 1 comment

welcome to my vineyard I say while crushing a handful of grapes into a pint glass of vodka

submitted 15 days ago • 2 comments

"...fuckers haven't said one thing about my shiny new hat."

submitted 15 days ago • 7 comments

Whoever’s decorating gynocologist offices have 0 common sense. There should be colorful Georgia O'Keeffe labias everywhere.

submitted 15 days ago • 6 comments

Whenever my dog looks sleepy I sing him that 1930s lullaby “Little Man You’ve Had A Busy Day” by Elsie Carlisle. Then he gives in & rests his head on me like he totally agrees & this is why we have dogs.

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

Sorry I opened my mouth to say something encouraging and the sound that came out was like a serpentine belt snapping. I'll get that looked at right away

submitted 15 days ago • 16 comments

Every "where are they all going at once" flock of birds knows something that you don't. How to fly? Lol nope. The myth of how their beak tradition folktales spread by passing down Microsoft Formation

submitted 15 days ago • 2 comments

Uncontrollable thirst for violence Thursday's

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

I thought they were mosquito bites but some of them have developed their own heartbeats.

submitted 15 days ago • 5 comments

around this time every night the old rocking chair in the basement starts rocking by itself I am irresistibly drawn to it as soon as I sit down in it I am overcome with a heavy dreamless sleep and the next morning another person from town has gone missing

submitted 15 days ago • 5 comments

I'm not saying I don't trust you, I'm just saying if you were a one way street I would still look both ways before crossing you

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

Officer, I was just rear-ended by a car with the license plate number TI 3VOM.

submitted 15 days ago • 1 comment

hey enjoy a good cry with one of my favorite artists and humans @alabasterdeplume.bsky.social youtu.be/I_TCxYHGRwM?...

submitted 15 days ago • 1 comment

starting to feel the work environment at Lumon is a bit toxic

submitted 15 days ago • 30 comments

Every time I see or hear about the Great Reset I imagine a giant NES with a jumbotron sized reset button

submitted 13 days ago • 1 comment

Taught the nerve-wracking contest how to speak and it lost a spelling bee on the word sentient, couldn't even use its edge to win a scratch off

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

end a life of pushing & pulling on what won't move you fly wide open into the inertia of flailing outside you're not in now don't feel inside at all reach to float your skin in a sac torn open fall into stranger arms wrap yourself racked in cold air born to breathe but first you'll howl all the pain

submitted 16 days ago • 1 comment

What a lovely day to be out for a drive on this winding country road. Why don't my brakes ever work when I need them to? Look! There's one of those mailboxes that looks like a little barn!

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

"Cleanliness is next to godliness!," I exclaim to no one but myself, because the bodies that lie surrounded by empty paper towel tubes, toilet paper rolls, and the trash bags they did not replace, are not cleaning up this mess or listening. Just like when they were alive

submitted 16 days ago • 11 comments

you say hang in there as i walk a mental tight rope slip slit by wire in the crease of mind's knees dangling words upside down growing used to the burn switching arms of plans gone numb to pass the mic to a viewer suggestion like "keep on keeping on" i'd never thought of that what is this i'm doing

submitted 16 days ago • 6 comments

If you don't wake up and just lie in bed screaming at your own feet until blood comes out of your mouth and days have passed you by and someone has filed a missing person report, you aren't paying attention.

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

There’s really no punk rock way to let people know that your legs are sore from simply continuing to be alive.

submitted 14 days ago • 20 comments

[Employees, Locals Forced to Flee as Blood Continues to Pour From 4-Door Sedan in Trader Joe’s Parking Lot]

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments