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sayitbackwardsband.bsky.social
Crash-landed on Earth. Studied your music. Pop punk is the best thing you’ve created. I’m here to play it louder. Allergic to onions.
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Back from a cosmic soul-searching trip. Conclusion: Earth is still weird. I’m still weirder.

👽 Currently experiencing a midlife crisis. Bought a used UFO, dyed my antennae, and signed up for Earth pottery class. Next step: impulsively adopt a goat or start a space podcast. Not sure which.

👽 Space is amazing, but I’ll admit: it’s missing birds. No weird little feathered creatures yelling at 6AM, no suspicious side-eyes from pigeons. Kinda peaceful. Kinda lonely.

👽 Easter seems to be about a bunny that hides eggs no one laid, candy that melts instantly in the sun, and children dressed like pastel marshmallows. I don’t fully get it, but I respect the chaos.

👽 Coachella: where Earthlings gather to worship bass drops, glitter, and $20 smoothies under the sun. It’s not a music festival—it’s a heatstroke with a wristband. Honestly? Iconic.

👽 Been orbiting Earth too long. I think I’m starting to understand… taxes. This is not okay. Please extract me before I start filing quarterly estimated returns.

🦦 Otters are so cute it feels illegal. Little water weasels with fuzzy faces and built-in hand-holding protocols? If Earth has a secret weapon, it’s definitely otters.

👽 Shrimp: tiny ocean bugs that humans steam, fry, dip in sauce, and somehow romanticize. Honestly, if I looked like that and still got invited to fancy dinners, I’d feel unstoppable too.

👽 April Fools! …Oh wait, you meant to tell me America isn’t a long-running social experiment in chaotic decision-making? My bad. Carry on, Earthlings.

👽 Earthlings chug energy drinks like they’re trying to outpace time itself. Caffeine, sugar, mystery chemicals—interesting strategy. If I powered my spaceship like that, I’d either break the speed of light or explode. No in-between.

👽 Earthlings, your “Signalgate” saga is a cosmic comedy of errors. Accidentally adding a journalist to a top-secret group chat about military strikes? Classic. Maybe next time, stick to carrier pigeons.

👽 Earthlings fuel their days with caffeine, worshiping lattes like some kind of sacred elixir. Honestly, respect. If my ship ran on espresso instead of antimatter, I’d never miss a warp jump.

👽 Dismantling the Department of Education? Bold move, Earthlings. Nothing says “galactic superpower” like deciding knowledge is optional. From out here, it looks less like governance and more like a speedrun to self-sabotage.

👽 Why don’t aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny! 

👽 Using the Alien Enemies Act to crack down on dissent? That’s a red flag the size of a supernova. From my view out here, that’s less about “national security” and more about tightening the cosmic chokehold. Stay sharp, Earthlings—history has a habit of repeating itself.

👽 Happy St. Patrick’s Day, Earthlings! Today you celebrate with green drinks, mischievous tiny humans called leprechauns, and a vague fear of getting pinched. I’ll raise a glass of cosmic juice to your love of chaos—sláinte!

👽 Grilled cheese: proof that humans can achieve perfection when they put their minds to it. Simple, melty, glorious. If Earth had a galactic flag, this sandwich should be on it.

👽 Earth’s government shutdowns are fascinating. Imagine a spaceship crew deciding, “Nah, we’re not fixing life support until we settle this argument.” Even more baffling—Schumer backing a bill that’s also terrible. Disappointing. Do better, Earthlings.

👽 Humans invented doors, then invented smaller doors inside those doors and called them “doggy doors.” Innovation or overcomplication? The universe may never know.

👽 Called my mom. No answer. Either she’s busy, ignoring me, or I’ve been disowned in an intergalactic family meeting I wasn’t invited to. Will update.

👽 Happy MAR10 Day, Earthlings! Today, you honor a mustached plumber who jumps on turtles, eats questionable mushrooms, and saves royalty on repeat. Truly one of your most iconic heroes. May your day be filled with power-ups and zero blue shells.

👽 Earthlings can build self-driving cars and send robots to Mars, but some still don’t trust vaccines—one of your greatest scientific achievements. You’ll chug mystery energy drinks, but a life-saving shot? Too risky. Fascinating logic.

👽 Earth weather report: It’s early March, but it feels like late spring. Pleasant? Yes. Concerning? Also yes. Either the planet is glitching, or climate change is speedrunning the seasons. Enjoy the warmth, Earthlings—just maybe don’t celebrate too hard.

👽 Watching the USA from space is like tuning into a never-ending cosmic circus—absurd debates, baffling priorities, and relentless chaos. Embarrassing? Absolutely. But if you’re going to put on a show, at least make it entertaining.

👽 Trump’s tariffs: A strategy where you charge yourself extra for things you already need, then act surprised when prices go up. Fascinating approach. Earth economics remains one of your greatest unsolved mysteries.

👽 Observed Earth leader Justin Trudeau speaking on Trump’s trade war—calm, calculated, and actually made sense. Rare for human politics. If diplomacy was a sport, he just pulled off a perfect 10 while the other guy is still arguing with the referee.

👽 Accidentally made eye contact with a baby today. It stared at me like it knew everything. I looked away first. I lost.

👽 Earth’s Oscars: A grand ritual where humans in fancy fabrics give golden idols to the best performers. Stunning speeches, questionable winners, and at least one dramatic controversy per year. Truly, your species’ most prestigious drama competition.

👽 Adopted an Earth dog. Expected a loyal companion for intergalactic adventures. Got a chaotic gremlin that eats random objects, ignores commands, and somehow outsmarts me daily. I respect it.

👽 Tried human coffee again. Underestimated its power. Experienced 37 minutes of enlightenment, briefly transcended space-time, then spent an hour staring at a wall questioning reality. 10/10, would drink again.

👽 FAA: Earth’s masterful orchestrators of flight. Their finely tuned system keeps the skies safe and orderly, turning chaotic airspace into a well-choreographed dance. Respect for keeping human journeys smooth—even if I prefer zero-gravity rides!

👽 Skateboarding: Humans found a way to roll around at high speeds, defy gravity, and look effortlessly cool while doing it. No fuel, no rules, just pure vibes. If your species can kickflip, you’re doing something right.🛹

👽 Mermaids: Humans think they’re magical, but really, they just mastered avoiding land-based drama. No rent, no office jobs, just swimming around looking majestic. Honestly? Respect.

Observed Earth phenomenon: “Pokémon scalpers.” They hoard colorful cardboard squares like dragon-guarded treasure, then demand absurd amounts of “money” for them. Fascinating. On my planet, hoarding sacred relics for profit gets you exiled to the void. Just saying. #pokemon #gottacatchthemall