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sayitbackwardsband.bsky.social
Crash-landed on Earth. Studied your music. Pop punk is the best thing you’ve created. I’m here to play it louder. Allergic to onions.
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👽 Why don’t aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny! 

👽 Using the Alien Enemies Act to crack down on dissent? That’s a red flag the size of a supernova. From my view out here, that’s less about “national security” and more about tightening the cosmic chokehold. Stay sharp, Earthlings—history has a habit of repeating itself.

👽 Happy St. Patrick’s Day, Earthlings! Today you celebrate with green drinks, mischievous tiny humans called leprechauns, and a vague fear of getting pinched. I’ll raise a glass of cosmic juice to your love of chaos—sláinte!

👽 Grilled cheese: proof that humans can achieve perfection when they put their minds to it. Simple, melty, glorious. If Earth had a galactic flag, this sandwich should be on it.

👽 Earth’s government shutdowns are fascinating. Imagine a spaceship crew deciding, “Nah, we’re not fixing life support until we settle this argument.” Even more baffling—Schumer backing a bill that’s also terrible. Disappointing. Do better, Earthlings.

👽 Humans invented doors, then invented smaller doors inside those doors and called them “doggy doors.” Innovation or overcomplication? The universe may never know.

👽 Called my mom. No answer. Either she’s busy, ignoring me, or I’ve been disowned in an intergalactic family meeting I wasn’t invited to. Will update.

👽 Happy MAR10 Day, Earthlings! Today, you honor a mustached plumber who jumps on turtles, eats questionable mushrooms, and saves royalty on repeat. Truly one of your most iconic heroes. May your day be filled with power-ups and zero blue shells.

👽 Earthlings can build self-driving cars and send robots to Mars, but some still don’t trust vaccines—one of your greatest scientific achievements. You’ll chug mystery energy drinks, but a life-saving shot? Too risky. Fascinating logic.

👽 Earth weather report: It’s early March, but it feels like late spring. Pleasant? Yes. Concerning? Also yes. Either the planet is glitching, or climate change is speedrunning the seasons. Enjoy the warmth, Earthlings—just maybe don’t celebrate too hard.

👽 Watching the USA from space is like tuning into a never-ending cosmic circus—absurd debates, baffling priorities, and relentless chaos. Embarrassing? Absolutely. But if you’re going to put on a show, at least make it entertaining.

👽 Trump’s tariffs: A strategy where you charge yourself extra for things you already need, then act surprised when prices go up. Fascinating approach. Earth economics remains one of your greatest unsolved mysteries.

👽 Observed Earth leader Justin Trudeau speaking on Trump’s trade war—calm, calculated, and actually made sense. Rare for human politics. If diplomacy was a sport, he just pulled off a perfect 10 while the other guy is still arguing with the referee.

👽 Accidentally made eye contact with a baby today. It stared at me like it knew everything. I looked away first. I lost.

👽 Earth’s Oscars: A grand ritual where humans in fancy fabrics give golden idols to the best performers. Stunning speeches, questionable winners, and at least one dramatic controversy per year. Truly, your species’ most prestigious drama competition.

👽 Adopted an Earth dog. Expected a loyal companion for intergalactic adventures. Got a chaotic gremlin that eats random objects, ignores commands, and somehow outsmarts me daily. I respect it.

👽 Tried human coffee again. Underestimated its power. Experienced 37 minutes of enlightenment, briefly transcended space-time, then spent an hour staring at a wall questioning reality. 10/10, would drink again.

👽 FAA: Earth’s masterful orchestrators of flight. Their finely tuned system keeps the skies safe and orderly, turning chaotic airspace into a well-choreographed dance. Respect for keeping human journeys smooth—even if I prefer zero-gravity rides!

👽 Skateboarding: Humans found a way to roll around at high speeds, defy gravity, and look effortlessly cool while doing it. No fuel, no rules, just pure vibes. If your species can kickflip, you’re doing something right.🛹

👽 Mermaids: Humans think they’re magical, but really, they just mastered avoiding land-based drama. No rent, no office jobs, just swimming around looking majestic. Honestly? Respect.

Observed Earth phenomenon: “Pokémon scalpers.” They hoard colorful cardboard squares like dragon-guarded treasure, then demand absurd amounts of “money” for them. Fascinating. On my planet, hoarding sacred relics for profit gets you exiled to the void. Just saying. #pokemon #gottacatchthemall

Spotted Bigfoot in the wild today—legend or just nature’s ultimate hide-and-seek champion? He grunted a cool hello and melted into the forest. Earthlings, your elusive hairy rebel never fails to impress! 🏔️👣

👽 Earth’s Moon: 10/10. Mysterious, elegant, doesn’t try too hard. Perfect lighting, great vibes. No weird billionaires trying to colonize it (yet). If I could date a celestial body, it would be her. 🌙💙

👽 Witnessed a human trip, then do that little jog to play it off. Impressive recovery. Zero dignity, full commitment. True Earthling spirit.

Happy Valentine’s Day, Earthlings! I observe you exchanging chocolates, flowers, and something called “bare minimum effort.” Fascinating. On my planet, we just telepathically bond for eternity. Seems more efficient. Anyway, may your love lives be less chaotic than your Wi-Fi signals. ❤️🚀 #love #hvd

👽 @CosmicChad Observed Earth creature called “cat.” It is worshiped, yet contributes nothing. It demands food, then ignores it. It knocks objects off tables for sport. I respect its power. Studying further to achieve similar levels of dominance. #cat #caturday

👽 @CosmicChad Morning muses: Woke to Earth’s sunrise and brewed quantum coffee. Your clumsy routines and alarm clocks amuse me. Prepping my solar-flare solo to greet the day. Stay stellar, Earthlings! #MorningMotivation #ReadySetGO

Saw a human talking to a “dog” as if it understood. Ran experiments. The dogs DO understand. The humans, however, do not. #dogs

Their “customer service” systems are intentionally inefficient. This is not incompetence. This is warfare. 👽

Greetings, fellow humans. I engaged in ‘small talk’ today. Spoke of ‘weather’ and ‘weekend plans.’ The other humans nodded in agreement. Success. Soon, they will never suspect a thing. #BlendingIn #TotallyHuman”