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scums.bsky.social
he/they/that scum. puns and existential despair.
1,157 posts 76 followers 89 following
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Posts 33 Comments 17

i'm here for a goo time not a log time

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

i will now only read dickensian as dick ends Ian. you can decide if its like a snu-snu execution method or an edward scissor hands porn parody

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

i hope everyone is getting bread on valintimes day

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

oh my god eunice nooooo!

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

when u befriend someone while waiting for a connecting flight, call that a hub bub

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

an aye for an aye leaves the whole ship in agreement

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

why do they call it melodrama there's nothing mellow about it

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

ur telling me this atomic particle is a sub?!

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

mental health status: opened a can with a can opener, realized it was the bottom of the can, and the top was a pop top.

submitted 20 days ago • 0 comments

putting the rent in parent

submitted 20 days ago • 0 comments

lord help us all when elon fires the cobol programmers

submitted 22 days ago • 0 comments

i've talked about it before but i really want plaid and flannel shirts with pride flag based color schemes. someone please make this a thing.

submitted 22 days ago • 0 comments

gaslight? its call neon actually

submitted 22 days ago • 0 comments

in germany they call toys with choking hazards achtung figures

submitted 22 days ago • 0 comments

mods asleep post nasal drip

submitted 24 days ago • 0 comments

i'm gonna start pronouncing the l's in could would and should u can't stop me

submitted 26 days ago • 0 comments

ur tellin me this is a fossil of a naughty lass?

submitted 27 days ago • 0 comments

[user was panned for this boast]

submitted 27 days ago • 0 comments

they rock my scissors till i shoot

submitted 27 days ago • 0 comments

due to budget cuts, the bang bus has been downsided to a nissan sedan, its called the vice-versa

submitted 28 days ago • 0 comments

why is no one asking why a ketamine addict, who is under investigation by the sec, in charge of opm

submitted 29 days ago • 1 comment

submitted 29 days ago • 0 comments

i have to find a way to stand up and help but also not doomscroll to protect my mental health

submitted 29 days ago • 0 comments

every trans person has to braver than a draft dodger just to be themselves

submitted 29 days ago • 0 comments

whatever doesn't kill me makes me stranger

submitted 29 days ago • 0 comments

late stage captialism be like: good fast cheap, pick none

submitted 33 days ago • 0 comments

a museum curator asked me to stop sending them low res black and white scans of art i told them it was a collection of art i fax

submitted 35 days ago • 0 comments

really wish it wasn't freezing in my garage so i could woodwork for a few hours when The Horrors are too much

submitted 35 days ago • 1 comment

really looking forward to the tarrifs hitting and everything doubling in price. then in the spring we won't have any labor to farm and we will all starve. sure is a great plan.

submitted 35 days ago • 0 comments

after my tennis lesson, i put away my racquet, paid my coach with a cheque, went out for a draught beer, and got the hiccoughs

submitted 36 days ago • 0 comments

ur telling me a charizard was the narrator a thousand and one nights

submitted 37 days ago • 0 comments

why did they call it the DK rap instead of ditty kong

submitted 37 days ago • 0 comments

my car's engine was full of gross old oil. put some dish soap in and now its literally squeaky clean ☺️

submitted 39 days ago • 0 comments