sharpwoodchisel.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

Me: (Uses dedicated-for-this-purpose wooden dowel to retrieve several of Dolly's cat-toy springs from under the refrigerator) Here ya go. Dolly: (Lackadaisically swats one spring right back underneath the fridge) Me: I'm not getting that again. Dolly: ... Me: OK, hold on.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Rebadging Teslas? No, no, that's not okay. See, your Swastikar was assigned that at birth and we don't want to corrupt the children.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Here comes Chuck Schumer the smelly old boomer The weakest man up on the hill He put his rump In front of D.Trump And then he said drill baby drill!

submitted 2 days ago • 2 comments

Chuck Schumer wears golf gloves for yardwork. Also, I'm pretty sure he puts his cart iron in the dishwasher.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Brownies are basically protein bars, so they're officially cleared for breakfast. Assuming there are any left after my snack last night. Okay, two snacks. Maybe three.

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

I used to grow alarmed seeing mounted police in DC but now I secretly hope we're being invaded by Canada.

submitted 5 days ago • 563 comments

Feeling bad? At least you aren't this bigoted clown, who was so confident in his entire ancestry that he went on a talk show after taking a DNA test: www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptSZ...

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

Thanking our robot vacuum while it's working because Kirby (the nickname for this particular vacuum) isn't sentient, but future versions may be. I for one don't want Kirby 9.3 to think I need to learn respect.

submitted 107 days ago • 0 comments

Evil Bastard: A full-sized fridge, but can't hold a pizza box. The door shelves are too small for most condiments. The water dispenser needs 60-dollar filters. Behold, the evil that is the counter-depth fridge. Evil CEO: Why the hell would anybody buy this fucked-up nightmare? EB: Looks cool.

submitted 397 days ago • 0 comments

Military recruiting is getting wild now that most branches are falling short of goals. I'm 42 and eligible. Except for ADHD. And migraines. And being trans. And not wanting to be in the Army again. Otherwise, I could reenlist.

submitted 406 days ago • 0 comments

So, for the non-US folks: Here in some of the United States of Embarrassment, we kill some prisoners. And now, we are back to doing it in a particularly gruesome manner because prisons are having a hard time buying the drugs for lethal injections.

submitted 416 days ago • 1 comment

Both cats were gently lured out of the home office. (We're both studying.) So, the boys are left with ONLY their own damn couch with heated blanket, their poofy bed, two people beds, cat trees, the kitchen table, or windowsills. We are SO MEAN. Lewis says send help. Itty says send snacks.

submitted 426 days ago • 0 comments

Huh. So us trans* folks have such low regret rates that the informed consent model is being studied to see how it can benefit other people. It's almost like the medical professionals taking care of us know what they're doing and don't need Cletus or Freedom Caucus Politicians butting in.

submitted 427 days ago • 1 comment

For the alt right, the hypocrisy doesn't even faze them. They don't care. As long as their politicians are making you and me as miserable as they (the voters who like this turd circus) are all day, every day, they call it good. So, i say we relentlessly enjoy ourselves.

submitted 439 days ago • 1 comment

Dudes, if you're thinking of getting your wives or girlfriends vacuums for the holidays, they'd better be robot vacuums. Oh, and order extra boundary tape if applicable. (Being short during initial setup sucks.)

submitted 455 days ago • 1 comment

Waiting for reports of injuries sustained by Caitlyn Jenner and Buck Angel while yanking the ladder up behind themselves so damn hard.

submitted 461 days ago • 0 comments

Mandatory fun coming up at work next week. That's why I saved a paid day off. Y'all have fun being made to have fun while I finish up holiday gifts and play video games.

submitted 462 days ago • 0 comments

Murrica is the greatest country in the world. Don't believe me? I have the freedom to toss my soda can tabs in a bucket on a coworker's desk so she can help fund a kid's absurdly expensive medical treatments. Insert screeching bald eagle sound here. Possibly with a big pickup making freedom noises.

submitted 471 days ago • 0 comments

Kissinger was such a piece of shit that the Behind the Bastards (podcast) needed six episodes to cover the fuckery. That pod usually does one- or two-part episodes.

submitted 473 days ago • 0 comments

A scrub jay shows up at our feeder a few times a day to shriek, toss food around, eat a bite or two, and strut around like a giant asshole. I want just a shred of that confidence.

submitted 475 days ago • 0 comments

ADHD med shortages continue. Which meds to sub in? A helpful breakdown of the various types and how they're related.

submitted 489 days ago • 0 comments

Y'all. I checked the "Southern" option on Door Dash and these MFers gave me McDonald's, that hate chicken chain, and Subway. (The local restaurants also included are good, but not what this Southerner calls Southern.) Look for my food truck, Yeah, We Can Deep-fry That.

submitted 520 days ago • 0 comments

Get to know your mutuals. List 10 things you're into: 1. Unions. 2. IT. 3. Safety. (OSHA nerd alert!) 4. Woodworking. 5. Cooking. 6. Video games. 7. Fixing stuff. 8. Critters. 9. Audiobooks. 10. Making people laugh.

submitted 520 days ago • 0 comments

"Y'all" can be a singular or plural pronoun. Or both. Or neither. Singular (usually): How y'all doing? Plural: Fuck all y'all. Either/or: When y'all coming by? Then there's the imperative that has no number, only doom, as uttered by the grownups: y'all quit!

submitted 525 days ago • 0 comments

I think one of the worst quirks of online spaces is the idea that if someone doesn't post about something, they don't care about it. It encourages performative posting often makes things worse. I care a lot. I just don't want to add another poorly-informed voice. I'm reading & thinking.

submitted 526 days ago • 92 comments

Emergency test today, USians. At the tone, everybody panic for exactly .5 seconds and then remember we have to pause our slog through capitalism to dismiss the test alert.

submitted 530 days ago • 0 comments

Hello, Bluesky. I like my loving wife, critters (please tell your dog I said hi), and the Oxford comma. I dislike bigotry, a handful of foods (cilantro isn't my jam), and dull woodworking tools. Lifelong southerner who's called PNW home for a year now. Also, ADHD, trans, ambidextrous, ginger, dude.

submitted 543 days ago • 0 comments