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shatadvocate69.bsky.social
Attorney of WILLIAM SHATNER (the Shat-Man). Reasonable doubt for a reasonable fee! Plead the 5th & 🖕 the 🚔 #ShatFacts
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Unbeknownst to the west Hollywood Chevron, I slowly pilfered their store & stockpiled hand sanitizer, toilet paper, canned goods, drinks, jerky, and cigarettes Once the new COVID panic hits and Gavin Newsom closes everything, I am prepared to make a profit! #businesstips

submitted 545 days ago • 0 comments

I just ruptured a vein or artery in my asshole because of Jack in the Box tacos! I'm barely awake to type this...losing a lot of blood at this west Hollywood Chevron restroom. Please send help

submitted 551 days ago • 1 comment

I am never giving up my storage shed filled to the brim with guns and ammo. The pigs of the LAPD can go and fuck themselves if they think they can issue a search warrant. Good luck finding the location and figuring out the fake name I used to get the shed! 🖕

submitted 552 days ago • 1 comment

My stomach is in painful knots, I have a fever of 105 degrees, and my asshole is violently shooting out watery and bloody poop all over the west Hollywood Chevron's restroom floor! I gave Taco Bell one more chance last night, but this is the last straw! Never again do I eat their poison #ShatFacts

submitted 559 days ago • 1 comment

Gotta spend mony to make mony - the Shat man #FinancialAdvice #MoneyMoves #HatersGonnaHate

submitted 567 days ago • 0 comments

Discount LegalAdvice for today: If you find yourself in a Motel-6, with who you believe to be a sex worker, tell him/her the following at the very start: "I'll pay you money, but not for sex...I'll pay you to leave me alone afterward because I don't want a relationship."

submitted 572 days ago • 1 comment

The best thing about criminal defense is that clients cannot write a bad Yelp review from prison.

submitted 573 days ago • 1 comment

#DiscountedLegalAdvice for today: Always wear 2 pairs of identical pants if you're trying to hide drugs. When you're in a foot chase with a cop, run into an alleyway. Take off outer pair of pants that holds the drugs and throw them behind dumpster...

submitted 573 days ago • 2 comments

If you hire me as your Attorney, I'll stop at NOTHING to ensure that your enemies (and their progeny) face a life of bankruptcy, destitution, misery, and embarrassment. Also, your windshields will be spotless. See me at the west Hollywood Chevron, pump #7, to learn more.

submitted 574 days ago • 0 comments

Just experienced the worst 12 hours of my life after eating a Mexican Pizza from @tacobell last night At least a gallon of blood shot out of my asshole due to explosive diarrhea and my stomach hurts. And now the restroom of the west Hollywood @Chevron looks like a crime scene!

submitted 575 days ago • 2 comments

🚨 THIS WEEKEND ONLY AT THE WEST HOLLYWOOD CHEVRON, PUMP #7🚨 if your name is PAUL, come see me for a free windshield cleaning and 5 minute legal consultation at a 35% discount. Also ask about drug & gun sales.

submitted 580 days ago • 1 comment

If anyone affiliated with the Los Angeles chapter of MS-13 is reading this, contact me ASAP at the west Hollywood Chevron, pump #7, for deals on guns & drugs! Some of my clients didn't pay storage fees so I am ready sell! Also, ask about windshield cleaning and discounted #LegalAdvice

submitted 581 days ago • 0 comments

Without question, @keithmichael.bsky.social is one of the biggest HACKS and FRAUDS to ever grace television and radio podcasts. He's scum, and his frivolous accusations of @theshatmanrises.bsky.social owing him $75 will be dealt with legally, or by #2ndAmendment remedies, if necessary. #ShatFacts

submitted 581 days ago • 4 comments

#DiscountedLegalAdvice for today Always keep a pint of UNOPENED flavored / easy to drink vodka in you car If you're pulled over and you're tipsy, when the cop approaches your window, show him/her the unopened bottle, open it, then chug it all! The DA cannot prove DUI beyond a reasonable doubt!

submitted 581 days ago • 2 comments

Having an excruciating bowel movement at the west Hollywood Chevron, and I'm out of money for Preparation-H and Pepto Bismol because my clients are not paying their fees. God help me! #ShatFacts

submitted 581 days ago • 0 comments