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shovelmage.bsky.social
if you send me a picture of a horse you owe me 42 dollars
12,000 posts 528 followers 270 following
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Posts 24 Comments 26

Has anyone tried the post maloreos

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

I love when being nice is like, the bitchiest thing you can do Like "have a nice life" is objectively a nice thing and somehow also one of the meanest things you can say to someone It's incredible

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

in the year of our lord 2025 I just made a "binders full of women" joke and I'm so pleased with myself about it

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

okay, i'll just post my answer here so that people stop asking me about it all the time: the reason i refuse to add my signature to the united states constitution is that everyone who's signed it has died

submitted 5 days ago • 49 comments

Nice try chumps I have the prettiest wife game over

submitted 8 days ago • 1 comment

This was a lie I remembered the name I just wanted an excuse to say "hangs dong"

submitted 8 days ago • 1 comment

roses are red / violets are blue who let the dogs out / who who who who

submitted 8 days ago • 1 comment

Our very first Spotlight! @chaceverity.com joins us to talk about their quirky, paranormal romance to celebrate Valentine's Day! Check it out! 🌈 📚 💙 queerbooksweekly.com/author-spotl...

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

My therapist asked about my Valentine's plans and I couldn't remember the name of the movie Rose and I are planning to watch so I had to say "that one weird vampire movie where Tom Hiddleston hangs dong" in therapy

submitted 9 days ago • 1 comment

two types of save names: the name of your character, or whatever my qp is doin in morrowind

submitted 330 days ago • 0 comments

Get you a best friend who is good at the stuff you're bad at and bad at the stuff you're good at and spend years together becoming more like each other until you're both quite similar weird gremlins who are both betterworse and worsebetter than when you started

submitted 10 days ago • 1 comment

YOOOOO

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

this place is the mines of moria for people who say “superb owl.” tread with the utmost care

submitted 13 days ago • 108 comments

Finally someone was brave enough to make a movie answering the question "what if gollum was on a boat"

submitted 13 days ago • 1 comment

You will never guess what this is a reply to

submitted 15 days ago • 3 comments

Reminder: I'm fuckin hot

submitted 34 days ago • 0 comments

I hope he loses the game and then she dumps him later that day

submitted 15 days ago • 2 comments

Omg so pretty, happy anniversary to meeeee

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

Having tummy issues is hot girl shit

submitted 21 days ago • 2 comments

KORN is the greatest band that ever co-starred in an episode of TV's "Monk"

submitted 23 days ago • 1 comment

I read this aloud to my wife and she died

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

Told a slorpstress today "you're like the K.Flay of baristas" because she always makes me nice drinks

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

I know people are going to drag the OP bc it's cool to be a cynic and "cringe" to be sincere, but this is real shit

submitted 24 days ago • 1 comment

I'm like 7 years late to this particular party but k.flay is actually just a wall to wall bangers machine

submitted 24 days ago • 1 comment