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shutupneff.bsky.social
Not sure yet. Maybe a normal person. Probably just a shitposter. However I hit your brain, I guess.
303 posts 22 followers 139 following
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Posts 19 Comments 31

Paddington in Peru is a fantastic and thoroughly enjoyable film, while also being the weakest film of the trilogy by a comfortable margin.

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

I’m gonna be so pissed if San Antonio gets Cooper Flagg…

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

Trump is your favorite real doll’s favorite president.

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

It seems a clear conflict of interest that the substance I’m using to help my sore wrist is the same substance that I injured my wrist slipping on. I’M SUBJECT TO THE WHIMS OF BIG ICE!!!

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

We’re fast approaching the day where the Sentinelese people start having to fight off outside visitors who just to get away from everything and live with them .

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

I really wish we’d known about Justin Tucker’s shit a year ago so I could really enjoy watching him struggle on the field this year. Instead I had to make do with convincing myself that Harrison Butler’s kicks that barely snuck inside the uprights were worth celebrating.

submitted 22 days ago • 0 comments

The movie Companion is what M3gan could’ve been if it’d had the ova to make the crazed murder-bot the hero. Great film.

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

Why doesn’t the NFL have the Bills and Chiefs play the AFC championship game every week? Are they stupid?

submitted 28 days ago • 0 comments

Why can we all accept that the winner of the NCAA tournament isn’t necessarily the best team, but is just the team that survived a single-elimination tournament, but we can’t apply that same reasoning to the NFL playoffs? Even I’m not immune to this, and I realized how ridiculous this is years ago.

submitted 36 days ago • 0 comments

Is there a term for the social media phenomenon of getting teased a big news story by seeing people’s riffing on it before scrolling far enough down to get to the news itself? Anyway, David Lynch was apparently so beloved that I’ve been stuck in the tease part of that system for quite a while now.

submitted 38 days ago • 0 comments

Woman: My husband hides things from me Therapist Scooby Doo: Rhave ryou ried ripping ruh rmask roff ris rface

submitted 46 days ago • 11 comments

Apparently 2025 is the year I decided to replace, “Not to toot my own horn” with, “Not to throat goat my own boat.” I make no apologies for this.

submitted 46 days ago • 0 comments

[starts doing cool Harlem Globetrotters tricks with a head of cabbage when my wife wants to have a serious conversation] What’s that? Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention. I was too busy doing these cool Harlem Globetrotters tricks with this head of cabbage.

submitted 46 days ago • 0 comments

Deleting my Facebook account felt weird. I haven’t used it in well over a decade, but I’ve had it since it was only available to college students.

submitted 47 days ago • 0 comments

As a former gifted child and current gifted adult, let me just say that defaulting to assuming that everyone else is an idiot every time you see someone fuck up is a great way to never improve yourself and end up an idiot.

submitted 47 days ago • 0 comments

If SpongeBob weren’t a biblical name, none of these words would be in the Bible.

submitted 48 days ago • 0 comments

Does anyone else ever just suddenly realize how wild it is that Michael Jordan’s face got turned into a meme, but it wasn’t from that time when he rocked a Hitler mustache in a Hanes commercial?

submitted 49 days ago • 0 comments

You couldn’t make Die Hard today.

submitted 60 days ago • 0 comments

Fear the man who has enough Bingo cards to have been able to check off “Fred Durst becomes an A24 regular.”

submitted 71 days ago • 0 comments