simpsonsqotd.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

"Bart, take a letter! Dear Mr. Burns I'm so glad you enjoyed my son's blood and your card was just great. In case you can't tell, I'm being sarcastic. You stink!"

submitted 2 hours ago • 0 comments

"Homer, come home with me." No, Marge, I just can't. I mean, look at me. I'm a trainee. They won't even tell me what's in the secret sauce."

submitted 1 day ago • 2 comments

"I, uh, don't think this contest is over yet, Buzz, If that is your real name. I believe there is still a little something called the swimsuit competition." "There's no swimsuit competition, Homer." "You mean I shaved my bikini zone for nothing?"

submitted 2 days ago • 0 comments

"Get ready for two weeks at the happiest place on earth: Tijuana!"

submitted 3 days ago • 1 comment

"I'm telling you people, the Earth revolves around the sun." "Burn him!" "What a story!" "You've stolen my soul!"

submitted 4 days ago • 1 comment

"Wow! Look at that ad! All right, this place must be hot. They don't need a big ad or even correct spelling."

submitted 96 days ago • 4 comments

"Who would have thought Darth Vader was Luke Skywalker's father?" "Well, thank you, Mr. Blow-The-Picture-for-Me."

submitted 5 days ago • 0 comments

"While my son at fat camp I cleaned out his room How much will you give me for this?" "Probably nothing but let us see Handwritten script for Star Wars by George Lucas Princess Leia anti-jiggle breast tape Film reel labeled "Alternate Ending: Luke's Father is Chewbacca"? Ill give you five dollars"

submitted 5 days ago • 2 comments

"I dreamed about her again last night, Smithers. You know that dream where you're in bed and they fly in through the window?" "Ahh. You've been reading my wish book, Sir."

submitted 6 days ago • 0 comments

"I love these real saturdays. They're so relaxing. Not like that fake saturday that almost got me fired."

submitted 237 days ago • 4 comments

"Okay. I'm not gonna kill you but I'm going to tell you three things that are going to haunt you for the rest of your days. You've ruined your father. You've crippled your family. And baldness is hereditary." "It is?!"

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

"Oh, will this horrible year never end?"

submitted 81 days ago • 0 comments

"Well, it's 1:00 A.M. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids."

submitted 8 days ago • 1 comment

"Okay, so I was working at an insurance company, right? Youngest V.P. in the history of the firm. The job was my life. Then, one Monday morning, I got up, I couldn't leave the house. I just couldn't." "Was the door locked?" "No. I just couldn't face what was out there." "Was it raining?

submitted 9 days ago • 3 comments

"Ah! I love these lazy saturdays." "It's wednesday, homer."

submitted 226 days ago • 8 comments

"Oh, you think this stolen "H" is a laugh riot, don't you? Well, I'll tell you something that's not so funny. Right now superintendent Chalmers is at home crying like a little girl."

submitted 10 days ago • 2 comments

"How can ace be one and eleven? Huh?! What kind of god would allow that?"

submitted 11 days ago • 1 comment

"You know the kind of letters people write: 'Dear somebody you never heard of... How is so and so?' Blah, blah, blah. Yours truly, some bozo.' "

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

♪ A glove slap to the little ol' face ♪ ♪ Will get you satisfaction ♪ ♪ Glove slap, baby ♪ ♪ Glove slap, baby, glove slap ♪ ♪ Glove slap I don't take crap ♪ ♪ Glove slap shut your big yap ♪ ♪ Glove slap, baby, glove slap ♪

submitted 13 days ago • 5 comments

"Have you found a picture yet?" "Not one that I want the public to see."

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

"Did you know that 34 million American adults are obese? Taken together that excess blubber could fill the Grand Canyon two-fifths of the way up. That may not sound impressive but keep in mind, it is a very big canyon."

submitted 15 days ago • 0 comments

"We're in pursuit of a speeding individual driving a red... car, license number eggplant-xerxes crybaby-overbite-norwall." "Oh, no. Cops."

submitted 16 days ago • 3 comments

"Let us celebrate our new arrangement with the adding of chocolate to milk."

submitted 17 days ago • 0 comments

"But now all I have is this weird, hot feeling in the back of my head." "That's guilt. You feel guilty because your stunt wound up costing a man his job." "Yeah, I guess it is guilt."

submitted 18 days ago • 0 comments

"Baby turtles and alligators may seem like a cute idea for a pet, but they grow up."

submitted 19 days ago • 1 comment

"Tango 14, we're being fired at. I'm getting an exact I.D. on the bogey now."

submitted 20 days ago • 0 comments

"Oh, Mr. Burns, we'll thaw you out the second they discover the cure for 17 stab wounds in the back."

submitted 191 days ago • 2 comments

"Hey, why didn't you tell me the new issue of 'Weird' was here?"

submitted 21 days ago • 1 comment

"It was my job to clear the roads of enemy explosives."

submitted 22 days ago • 2 comments

submitted 170 days ago • 5 comments

submitted 23 days ago • 3 comments

"I didn't burn down the school. It was the butterfly, I tell you. The butterfly!"

submitted 24 days ago • 2 comments

"We take 18 ounces of sizzling ground beef and soak it in rich creamery butter. Then we top it off with bacon, ham, and a fried egg. We call it the Good Morning Burger."

submitted 25 days ago • 4 comments

"But the sign said 'all you can eat.'"

submitted 213 days ago • 0 comments

"When I started this clown thing I thought it would be nothing but glory. You know, the glory of being a clown? But I tell you, it's hard, tiring work. But when I see the smiles on their little faces, I just know they're getting ready to jab me with something."

submitted 26 days ago • 0 comments

"Dear mr. President: There are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three. I am not a crackpot."

submitted 213 days ago • 3 comments

"Hey, Lou! Lou, check out that park job in 7-a." "Whoo-hoo-hoo! That's sweet."

submitted 27 days ago • 1 comment

"It's no use. I guess I'll have to leave all my money to the egg advisory council. Eggs have gotten quite a bad rap lately, you know, Smithers."

submitted 28 days ago • 0 comments

"Well, as you can see, when the burglar trips the alarm, the house raises from its foundations and runs down the street and around the corner to safety. Well the... real humans won't.. won't burn quite so fast in there."

submitted 29 days ago • 0 comments

"You'd better run, egg."

submitted 195 days ago • 2 comments

"I hate to interrupt your judging me but I wanted you to know I've made a couple of really important decisions. Number one, I'm cutting the cable as soon as the fight's over And number two, I'm not very fond of any of you."

submitted 30 days ago • 1 comment

"We'll find that head case faster than Garfield finds lasagna."

submitted 31 days ago • 3 comments

"You make me sick, Homer. Youre the one who told me I could do anything if I just put my mind to it. Well now that you're a little bit older I can tell you that's a crock." "No matter how good you are at something theres always about a million people better than you." "Gotcha- Cant win, dont try."

submitted 32 days ago • 0 comments

"45 bucks?! Well, this better be the best-tasting beer in the world. You got lucky."

submitted 33 days ago • 0 comments

"I can't believe they stuck us at Tax-a-chusetts.'"

submitted 34 days ago • 1 comment

"Good afternoon." "How do you do, Sir?" "Sucker!"

submitted 35 days ago • 0 comments

"All right, here are your exams. 50 questions, true or false." "True." "Homer, I was just describing the test." "True." "Look, Homer, just take the test and you'll do fine." "False."

submitted 36 days ago • 2 comments

"Do you know where your children are?" "I told you last night, no! Where is Bart anyway? His dinner's getting all cold and eaten."

submitted 37 days ago • 0 comments

"April f..."

submitted 38 days ago • 4 comments

"About last night-- you might have noticed daddy acting a little strange and you probably don't understand why." "I understand why. You were wasted."

submitted 39 days ago • 0 comments