sirchristopher82.bsky.social - Profile | ThreadSky | a Reddit-style client for Bluesky

behold, the chosen one..

submitted 1 day ago • 13 comments

Me: Did you just show up to crush my dreams? Who are you? My dad? Them: Uh… Me: I’m just kidding. My dad didn’t stick around long enough to crush my dreams. Them: …. Me: He took one look at me and said “life’s got this covered”… Them: Jason, what the fuck… Me: It’s cool. I’ve been to therapy.

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

Here’s a secret no one ever tells you; if you lift heavy things with some sort of regularity? Things that USED to be heavy eventually don’t feel all that heavy anymore. 🫢Don’t tell anyone!🤫

submitted 1 day ago • 0 comments

submitted 2 days ago • 9 comments

The really shocking thing? It wasn’t a rock. It was a rock lobster!

submitted 2 days ago • 1 comment

taking a spill

submitted 3 days ago • 6 comments

Me, at work every single goddamned day…

submitted 3 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 5 days ago • 12 comments

For the first time in two decades, my waistline is below 40”. The line starts here, boys. Take a number, because as of right now I’m everyone’s problem. 😏

submitted 4 days ago • 0 comments

How much do castles cost? How much does castle upkeep cost? …..I’m considering a change of living arrangements. Unrelated, how does one dig a moat…?

submitted 5 days ago • 1 comment

I am legit not high enough for, like…existence…

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

“You expect me to die?! Inconceivable!”

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

Invincible the superhero is awesome. But ooh BOY does Invincible the person suck balls.

submitted 7 days ago • 0 comments

95% of my phone calls end with people verbally eye rolling and saying “Bye, Jason…” in a very bemused manner. …..am I the drama? …………I’m pretty sure I’m the drama…

submitted 8 days ago • 1 comment

Damn, The Onion…too real…!

submitted 9 days ago • 0 comments

I recently casually said “…you don’t know Homestar Runner? That’s wild. It was pretty popular like…I dunno…twenty years ago, maybe…?” and the realization of that statement made something somewhere inside me snap and now I gotta lay down…

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

I’m normally up by 8am at the latest, but today I slept in until 8:45. 🫢 I know…I’m an unhinged party animal, living a life of debauchery and sin. Someone stop me before I go too far and order a non-Diet Coke at a restaurant or something.

submitted 12 days ago • 0 comments

If you’re reading this, great news! You are now my Valentine! Your duties in this capacity are as follows; keep being your wonderful self and have a good day. ….what? I’m a super low-maintenance Valentine.

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

Normally, I’d be all prepared to make some mildly pithy, deeply sarcastic, wantonly misanthropic quip about today, but honestly…who’s got the time anymore? Too many other things to be concerned with. To that end, simply; Happy Valentines Day.

submitted 13 days ago • 0 comments

Them: How are you today? Me: Been better. Found out today that I’m the Chosen One. Them: …. Me: …. Them: Chosen for what? Me: You don’t need to worry about that… Them: …uhm… Me: ….because you’re not the Chosen One, y’see…

submitted 14 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 18 days ago • 3 comments

Boy howdy is it amazing the information one can dig up with a cursory google search. You might even find out you have not one but TWO half-siblings…

submitted 19 days ago • 0 comments

The worst thing in the world was me developing self-esteem and confidence. I am only getting better and oh BOY, are the rest of you in trooooooouble….

submitted 22 days ago • 0 comments

I love existing in this weird space where I’m a super responsible adult who works hard but also I’m an immature nerd who loves dumb shit. I’m like…a maturity day walker. I love me.

submitted 22 days ago • 0 comments

Just realised that "Gene Hackman" is the exact name that Hideo Kojima would give a biochemist

submitted 23 days ago • 65 comments

Here. Have a baby flamingo.

submitted 23 days ago • 51 comments

I miss the days when all we were arguing about was whether or not Batman performed oral sex on Catwoman…

submitted 23 days ago • 0 comments

Boy howdy, do I ever love how, after working six days straight and FINALLY getting to sleep in, my dog decided she simply HAD to go out at 7am. So much so that she smacked me in the face with her paw and dropped all 80 lbs of herself directly on my chest in lieu of a simple face-lick wake up.

submitted 23 days ago • 1 comment

Out of Context Theatre Presents: Me: ….did I just give a job to a nine year old? He’s an actual child! (beat) Me: Wait, why am I complaining? I employ a literal chicken. Carry on.

submitted 24 days ago • 1 comment

Something tells me you weren’t expecting this… en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spanish...

submitted 24 days ago • 0 comments

:blissfully hums Tijuana Taxi into the void:

submitted 24 days ago • 0 comments

I just had a thought that was stupid enough to make me laugh, but I have determined is too stupid to share. This is the face of maturity, people. Get into it.

submitted 24 days ago • 0 comments

Forget the chicken and the egg, I have a better question; do Fritos smell like dog feet…OR…do dog feet smell like Fritos…?

submitted 25 days ago • 0 comments

I feel like if Bill Murray had to relive the same day over and over again in the present day, he wouldn’t really have the freedom of mind to become a piano virtuoso and fall in love with Andie MacDowell. He was a news reporter…with these headlines, he’d develop a meth habit instead…

submitted 25 days ago • 0 comments

‘tis hammer time

submitted 402 days ago • 41 comments