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sloppyscout.bsky.social
She / Her, like 30
48 posts 29 followers 85 following
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I’m hearing rumors that thousands of people are calling the ICE tip line to report little green men and other aliens from outer space. That’s not why ICE set up this number, so you should absolutely NOT call that tip line to report those types of aliens. 👽 I repeat—do NOT call the below number! ☎️

submitted 1 day ago • 679 comments

bluesky's problem with people who are unable or unwilling to recognize a joke is really just a twitter problem bluesky hasn't solved. look at the replies to this tweet.

submitted 9 hours ago • 230 comments

They lie about everything

submitted 5 hours ago • 961 comments

fuck Kristi Noem i hope they bury her in a gravel pit like that dog she killed. and the goat

submitted 2 hours ago • 22 comments

Hey if you work for ICE or the police or the military just a reminder that your orders are just words but the people you’re kidnapping from their homes and workplaces are family members and community so maybe just take the write up for not meeting your quota?

submitted 1 hour ago • 1 comment

a woman just trying to get home gets shot

submitted 2 days ago • 1259 comments

A bump of k before bed call that bedamine

submitted 8 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 16 days ago • 0 comments

Meat and fuck? No thanks I’m vegan

submitted 22 days ago • 0 comments

Cheap sticker printing with decent turnaround? Run by cool people?

submitted 30 days ago • 0 comments

Why do creatine burps taste for the world like cocaine burps

submitted 33 days ago • 0 comments

A reminder: Both sheriffs and local police have the right to refuse ICE detainers. These requests are voluntary and not legally enforceable under federal law. Across the country, many sheriffs and police departments choose not to cooperate and that choice is fully within their legal rights.

submitted 38 days ago • 193 comments

“Abolish ICE” is the moderate position at this point.

submitted 39 days ago • 3 comments

Orion is my soul dog, an extension of myself. #pibble #rednose #bestfriend #pitbull

submitted 42 days ago • 0 comments

Slavoj Zizek is Hemingway for leftists Lenin is Jordan Peterson for leftists I will not be explaining this any further

submitted 42 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 43 days ago • 441 comments

Cloudy with a chance of pissballs

submitted 48 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 53 days ago • 2 comments

Sikh turbans are like gang colors but for just being really nice and helpful

submitted 60 days ago • 0 comments

really feel like i scored one for the little guys today by making my dealer sit thru my set before i bought weed from him

submitted 61 days ago • 0 comments

BREAKING: The country of Norway just entered a bill to give transgender Americans asylum in the country of Norway… LGBTQ+ STRONG! 🌈✨

submitted 63 days ago • 1060 comments

Gonna smoke an estrogen bowl to take the edge off

submitted 68 days ago • 0 comments

Casual reminder it’s more common to be intersex than it is to have red hair

submitted 69 days ago • 0 comments

I’m ballin out right now (wardrobe malfunction)

submitted 70 days ago • 0 comments

submitted 77 days ago • 0 comments

If you’re wondering: Bong water glows under 395nm UV light

submitted 79 days ago • 0 comments

For sale: lycanthropy. Buyer be were.

submitted 88 days ago • 22 comments

Being an aging punk is fun cuz it’s like “still no hope but I have unfortunately accepted the future is inevitable”

submitted 90 days ago • 0 comments

Why does everything I want cost like $30 when I barely have $30?

submitted 91 days ago • 0 comments

How real do you think the Frida Kahlo / Diego Rivera / Leon Trotsky throuple was?

submitted 94 days ago • 1 comment

If you date a pornstar you never have to worry if she’s out fucking some other dude.

submitted 94 days ago • 0 comments

Streaming services? You mean a VPN and a plex server?

submitted 94 days ago • 0 comments

Trans women in sports is not a real problem. Trans women in sports is not a real problem. Trans people in sports is not a real problem. It’s not a problem now and it’s not going to become a problem. If you think this is a real problem, I want to sell you a bridge to shut the fuck up town.

submitted 95 days ago • 2 comments

It’s wild that anybody who helped get PayPal off the ground went on to become one of the most evil people on earth.

submitted 97 days ago • 0 comments

It's the entire email list for all DOGE employees. Have fun!

submitted 98 days ago • 1201 comments

Yeah the base is flared don’t ask how it got in there, I don’t know

submitted 99 days ago • 0 comments

Idk what it is about cars that make everybody become the worst version of themselves when they’re behind the steering wheel but it sure is true

submitted 99 days ago • 0 comments

I still be throwing semicolons around like I learned how to use them yesterday; didn’t though.

submitted 102 days ago • 0 comments

I’m 30 years old and I just found out what the difference between scissors and shears is

submitted 102 days ago • 0 comments